Thursday, December 31, 2009

META

META is finally over.
Sermon was really good and spoke a lot to me.

Yet somehow or rather, I can't focus.
I don't seem to absorb anything from this camp.

I don't seem to absorb anything from God lately.
Am I desperately in need of a timeout with God?

I really don't know...

Sunday, December 6, 2009

A true disciple

To love the Lord with all thy heart and all thy mind and all thy soul and all thy strength

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Disciple-sheep

What defines a true disciple of the Almighty?

Monday, November 30, 2009

Happy Birthday =)

And that just made my day when you said it.

It meant a lot and I appreciate it.

=) 7 more days! 168 hours to freedom!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Birthday O' Birthday

It's officially me turning 22!

Thanks to all who remembered =) Love you guys!

22! 22! Reminds me of Toot toot...nvm...

Those were the days,
I know I'll never be able to turn back time.
Things are different now,
people changed.

I still miss the old times

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Choices

2 Big things coming up in my life...

1 - Should I get the Gretsch guitar? It was like God leading me to this choice after I thought I would settle with a Sweelee rip-off. But I guess the guy meant good anyway...

2 - To go to UNSW and take aerospace engineering? It'll cost a bomb for my parents definitely. Or should I just get a bank loan? or apply for sportsman scholarship? or get an interest-free loan from my aunt?

Choices choices...O Lord, lit my path and guide my feet.
I am lost without You in my life, let Thy will be done.

Freely You gave and surrendered Your life just for me..

Saturday, November 21, 2009

2 times 2 equals?

Now that I'm a week from turning 22 years old on earth.

I really wonder what is in store for me in the future...

What does God have in mind?

I wonder...

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

A shift; change; move

As 2010 draws nearer, wait! My exams are in less than 2 weeks =S

Okay never mind that. Since 2010 is coming, it's time I consider certain issues.

Well for those of you who do follow me here, these are some matters I've been thinking about:

-Youth Cell:
I've been in a youth cell ever since I accepted Christ. It was a place where I got to grow in God's word, getting to know my peers and juniors, from being a member to a laborer. I want to believe that when the time comes that God leads me elsewhere, it shall be the time for me to exit. I'm still seeking God on this as the sec 4 youths in the cell graduate next year.

Sometimes I evaluate myself based on the spiritual and numerical growth of the members and I think I failed. Totally. I began with 6 of them 4 years ago:

1 moved to another church.
1 stopped coming to church.
2 has transferred to another cell.
1 has been considering a change of environment.
The last one isn't exactly sure of the faith.

If I were in a corporate world, I would be the first to be fired.
0% success rate. I wonder what God would think.

-Youth worship:
This was my first ministry as a young Christian. It was being part of the worship ministry and the journey I went through in it that I believe God has molded me and taught me much. Thus, I thank God for this privilege and chance to be able to serve Him in this ministry and it has been my most successful ministry so far.

I look back at the current team of 10 that I'm leading.
I have no credit or merit in the process of growing the team, it all belongs to God!

-Fantastic-fabulous-fun loving drummer Zeph who has improved like 10000%;
-Bass(best)-man Nic who never fails to be a pillar of support to me and the team;
-'Armour-bearer'/Pianist Matthew who has been a great buddy to me and improved a lot in his area of expertise and support to the music;
-The Girl-duet guitarists: Grace and Eudora who have been patient with my nagging and shown improvements in their guitar-ing skills through their passion. The first 2 female guitarists serving in the worship ministry till today =)
-Quiet but can be wacky Darren for the fun you've brought to us and even though you're leaving real soon, you'll always be remembered!
-Hilary and James, my faithful visualizers! What can I do without the 2 of you. You 2 have been a blessing to the team, even as you serve in the background. Big THANKS to you guys!
-Esther, our sound "girl". Though you've not joined us for many sessions but thanks for your heart and willingness to serve the Lord despite your young age. I pray and believe that He will use you greatly in time to come =)
-Rachel, my budding-worship leader and sms-spammer for the team! I have seen you grow through 2009 and you have come a long way! I hope to see you take the reins in leading a team in time to come real soon okay =)

And so far, these are the 2 ministries that I've been in for the longest time.
The sweetest and the most bitter times I have had.
If only You call, I will go.

Here I am, send me. Take me and use me. According to Your great plans.


Thursday, November 5, 2009

Part of the great plan?

God is mysterious and works in His ways, I can totally agree now!

Tonight was just an experience of that, and Lord I thank You.
Thank You for opening our eyes and thank you for bringing Your people closer in You.
I pray that Love abound more and more in Your grace that we will keep the faith.
Lord, in this world, only You are all we need.

Amen =)

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Prodigal's Son?Ramesh's son?

Today was a long long day...

Combined service followed by SPARKS meeting.
Well actually, yesterday was even longer =)
Prac in the morning;
YA leaders meeting at 1pm;
Cell leaders meeting at 3pm;
Mel/Joel Birthday partee at night...

Yup and the night didn't ended just at the party :S

Tiring and tired now...Nevertheless, Ps Kenny spoke on the Prodigal's Son today.
The Church of the elder son is the church of good works, it strives to be recognized for the merits it has achieved...
The other Church is the prodigal's son, that is humbled and saved by grace, totally unworthy and undeserving of all it inherits...yet, our God is a good God, all the time!

Anyway I joined my favorite gang of friends at nearby coffeeshop for lunch, well technically only I was having lunch by the time I got there...

Random topics began to spring up over the table...
From DOTA to Sims to "bus tickets" (inside joke) to having "Kopi-O" as a name for a son...
This lunch, to me, is and will always be a rare occasion and in my heart.

Though things may not seem to be optimistic,
Though I know I was really stupid to make such mistakes,
I know I am free in Christ and I am redeemed.
And I pray that the Lord my God will lead me by the hand.

Amen

Friday, October 30, 2009

One more lesson to learn

"You can't be disappointed if you don't have any expectations"

-Chuck =)

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

This is Our God

Freely You gave it all for us...

As these few days past, I've come to some realizations.

1. There are friends out there who can use a helping hand
2. Not every friend I made will last forever
3. I ought to give whatever I can to help a friend

God I pray for Your providence, that I may be a pillar of help to a friend in times of need.
I ask for more of You not for my own sake, but that others may come to realize that You are a great and awesome God.

Forever Your Name be glorified,
Servant and King,
You are our God

Saturday, October 24, 2009

No turning back

As I look through my list of friends and reflecting on my life,
it seems that friends are not always meant to be in your life all the way.
It seems that certain friends are meant to be there by your side even at your funeral.

And mine?

I'm confident that I have built several, if not few, concrete friendships/male bondings with certain people.

And the many others?

I suppose on my part, I have failed to live up to their expectations or in 1 way or another, I have committed grave mistakes.

dear bloggie, I just have this urge to run away from everything in my life including all the sad things that bugs me. I just want to go to somewhere to start anew, a second chance. And knowing all the mistakes I've made and not committing them again. To the people and friends I have lost, to love them the way I should have. I don't want to be bonded by serving and serving again and again. I think I'm beginning to lose my center of focus already =(

Right now? Right now I think everyone's too busy to talk to me. Yup with exams pressing in and relationships coming into their lives. Different friends with different ambitions and goals from all walks of life.

I hope I won't walk through this life alone

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Living the Dream

Living the Dream is something I'm sure many desire their own lives...

Question is: Who's dream are you living?

Yours? Or the dream of someone else?

Well for me, I choose to live not my own dream, but the dream of God.
The dream/desire to love.
The desire to reconcile.
The desires that I have had cannot go with the desires of His,
because I was a sinner and He is holy.
Therefore, I must die to my own self and arise anew.

Lord, I pray for renewal.
Renewal of the Spirit, mind and body in this degenerating world today.
May I yearn for purity and holiness in You.
It may seem out-of-fashion or cliche to many, maybe even for the old-timers.
But I pray that You will manifest Your presence.
For You are everlasting to everlasting.
May I never exasperate myself or be anxious about anything,
but with thanksgiving, present my requests to You and hope in You.

That the God who died for me is the God who lives in me,
That the God who takes away is the God who free gives in His will,
That the God who lives yesterday is the God who lives today and forever,
That You are God, and Your Name will be exalted in all the heavens and the earth.

Amen.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Who is the greatest?

It has been an eventful week, I will say 7 out of 10 maybe.

If there is one thing I can share,

it will be "Giving up my rights and Lordship to Him".

Yups, Jude's sharing at Friday cell was simple yet impacting...
It reminded me what to and what not to in my life...
Am I striving to please myself or Him?
Am I trying to accomplish tasks on my own merit?

Another week ahead, I pray and hope that I will not falter...
Because He is with me and He will always be.

Thank You Lord and Your name is to be praised,
greatly to be praised =D

Who is the greatest?

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Thought for the day

God said in His word that the greatest of all is love.

God also said the greatest command is to love Him and to love others as oneself.

But how much do we care what He says...

I wonder...

Sunday, October 4, 2009

So so so many things ah!

Today's sermon on discipleship was really good...

5 simple yet important values of a Disciple...

Yet again, so many questions and doubts have surfaced in my mind regards to all about my faith and all that I had given...

I don't think it will be appropriate for me to voice them out here, so I will not stumble others in their faith...

But 1 thing I know, I don't decide all these..It is wholly God's sovereign will.

His and His alone! Amen...

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Let this be my daily prayer

Our Father in Heaven,
hallowed be Your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread,
forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.
Amen.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Disciple-sheep

Today had the Gap where the youths intercede for the ministry and various committees.
Thank God for the willing hearts who turned up on time, really...

And during the prayer with Elaine and David for sparks, God put in my mind really interesting stuff...

Disciple-sheep...

*Uh?* Why sheep?

Then I saw David and Saul...2 guys who I have been reading about lately...
And then I reflected about the past few days of reading...

Ahh! God revealed something...

Hence I shall name the Mentoring committee as "Disciple-sheep"...
In due time, I'll let my boss know =D

So why David and Saul?
Well for David, as a little kid, he was sent to look after sheep...
Dumb and smelly sheep, what a degrading job...
But God showed me, that He trained David in herding sheep so that He can use him to take over King Saul in future...

David had to fight off lions and bears to protect his sheep...
David could have just let the sheep die but he chose the opposite...he risked his life as a boy...
Who would have thought, that the Almighty God could use this job to raise David up...
The boy, who could be trusted with little, was given even greater things in the future...

David later grew up to become King, and he was a people's king and a God-fearing King...
He was mindful of God in his early years unlike Saul, who sought to kill David out of jealousy...

So you might ask, how does this link to discipleship?

Well, I'm still asking God about this but I know now, that even a small boy like David was willing to risk his life for his sheep, how much more should we give our time and effort to the ones we are looking after and shepherding...

And God, the Great Shepherd of all who gave His one and only Son for the world, faithfully shepherds his children...

Every single one of them...
Including you reading this =)
God is love and God loves. He loves you and me very very much.
Do you dare to believe?

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Reflecting on reflections

Had Cross roads today...Speaker spoke on how God speaks...

Interesting points learnt today =)

Was approached by CC staff asking me if I would like to join the leader's session for meta.
I really want to thank God for this opportunity.
Been wondering how I can give more in Crusade when I don't know many people and everyone seems to be cliquish...

I guess this is very real anywhere else and I must take note of this danger...
Anyway, mid-terms are almost over...
Not been a very good time taking tests especially knowing I didn't have the "correct" answers...

But nevertheless, God I will not worry and put all my trust in You!

Lord, You are more precious than silver.
Help me to always bear that in mind.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Just a thought

Spent most of today pondering...

I'm by myself most of my entire life...
At home; In school; In church...

I can safely say 90% of the time I am alone, not counting my roommate sitting behind me now...
Yup, I gave some thought about the people in my life...
My conclusion - I am living this life alone physically cause technically with God, I can't be alone at any time...

And I guess I'm really used to it and that explains why I don't really enjoy fellowships...
except for the ones that I really love and get to be ministered...but then again...

My life's pretty much a lonely, straight line =)

Monday, September 21, 2009

Grace upon Grace

A child-like faith in the everliving One, call upon His Name and He will answer.


Draw near to Him and He will draw nearer.


Those who seek Him with all their hearts will find Him.


Jesus! Jesus! Crazy for Jesus!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Stormy Storm

This specially dedicated to my previous entry...

Today I faced my first storm in Uni life...

In the knowledge that I screwed up my maths CA paper today,
all that came out in the paper was out of my expectations.
And all I had to say was negative stuff and groaning in disappointment,
God I will learn to look to You.

In this storm right now, I know with you in the boat I need not fear.
I know this doesn't mean that I don't have to put in effort on my part,
but more of working in partnership with You.
I cannot do this on my own, not for the next 3 years.

So many things crossed my past few days,
and this happens only when I'm about to have something coming up like leading worship.
Jesus, I pray that You'll carry me through this time,
May I put my trust in nothing but You alone.

In Your most precious and mighty Name

Thursday, September 17, 2009

I-spy

Just went a blog-checking-out spree.
It's so interesting to see what has been happening in the lives of others,
what they are going through or their thoughts for the day,
some are eager to share their current craze while others penned down their innermost issues.

Nevertheless, this is a space where one should be free to express oneself.
As I think about this, I cannot help but reflect on my own life.
Where I am right now, where I have walked and where I am heading.
Life is definitely full of why's and doubts, but faith is the element of my life.

I am very sure if one can turn back time, we would have chosen another path, another choice.
While some choose to take the same road, others are still lost in the busyness of life.
Me? I know I am a student right now in the midst of a vicious paper-chase.
But this is temporal.

God will see me through this season, as long as I keep trusting Him.
God has already planned my future, as long as I commit that into His hands.
God has, since Jesus' sacrifice, forgiven me of my sins and past, as long as I believe in Jesus Christ.
God, the same yesterday, today and forever, will always be the same and only God.

Praise be to God, in His honour; power and majesty, who reigns forevermore!

Have you given a thought about your life yet? =)

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

School and Life and what else?

I suddenly thought of this...

If my life is an equation say f(x) = x^2 + cos(0.5x) ,
then I guess all the people that I knew and know and will know in my life has to intersect with my equation as some point.

This is just a matter of when and how long.

Some friends have been with me since I was really young but now, we're not close anymore.
Some friends that I have just met are great and we're still doing great =)
Some friends whom I really cherished, have faded away.

The 2 equations are now moving further away from one another as time moves along.
It seems almost impossible to see that gap narrow in the future,
but I believe God can do anything according to His will =)


Sunday, September 6, 2009

Just a little bit more

Dear God, thank You for everything.
I'll never thank You, until I look back at what You have done for me.
I know You are faithful.
I know You are ever unchanging.

Today...just today...
As you smiled back at me,
it totally lit up my life.
Not that I am cooking up a big hoo-ha,
but that meant a lot to me.

O Lord, let all my desires
be nothing but Your will alone.
And as I walk this narrow road,
in the knowledge of Your great Love,
I will fear nothing. Nothing.

=)

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


My latest baby =))

Wireless and light plus in-ear buds...

Gives me all the reasons to start running again!

in NTU that is =))

Monday, August 31, 2009

Only 1 way

Got news today that I'm not selected for school team...

One of the biggest blows I've had since a long time...
I can't accept it but I resolved to submit to God

In every season, I'll trust in Him...
To bring me through every circumstance...

I look to You, Jesus

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Love never fails

1 Cor 13 sprang up in my mind today as I sat back and reflected on the past 12 hours...

Running around; Being distracted; Inability to focus...

I was in church but that only in the physical realm...
I feel so out of place, this familiar feeling is back to haunt me...

Now I think about what can possibly happen, even in the near future...
I really dun wish for things to turn out like that...
But it seems to me that I'm living my faith only on the outside...
My ears and eyes feels like they have been shut tight...

I can almost look into the future and see myself crumbling someday...
Because I'm around all this time, but only physically...
Deep inside of me, I'm nothing but an empty shell...
Void of feelings and deprived of that sensitivity that I once knew...

It can only be the Holy Spirit;
He is my only solution and only way;
He who knows the Father truly and His plans;
To bring and lead me through this season

Rain down on me O Lord, Rain down

1 Cor. 13:10 - But when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Rejections

God gave His one and only Son for the people He loved...

Jesus the Savior, rejected...

I wonder how would He have felt...

I feel like a retard...

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Great is our God

God, our great God...

Today I felt really really lost and disoriented...

First, I woke up really late and missed the "gap"
I felt really bad and lousy, I was debating with myself whether I should go to church
But I concluded myself that self-condemnation isn't part of God's plans...

Leading from this, I could not bring myself to lead the youth worship...
I feel unworthy, so so dejected...
I could not imagine how things will turn out in service...
So I decided to ask Rachel to lead the entire worship set...

Things went bad every now and then...
The noise bursts from my guitar channel...
The rushing for time set-up and EQ-ing...
I feel that I have let Him down...

Now I can only turn to Him in repentence...
I know one thing for sure...
God loves me and loves me the same...
I will press on and run the race...

O Lord, bring me back to You...
Let me hear Your still small, voice again
I want to know You more and more
Jesus, O Jesus how You love me

Grace of God

God is faithful though I'm faithless...

God is good even though I sinned...

God is love even though I hated...

God is the same even though I'm so different at times...

I don't know how to thank Him enough...
I don't know how to grasp His love and grace for me...
It's so, so, so wide and deep and high...

1 - NTU allowed me to apply for hall after 2 weeks of school-travelling-maddness
2 - Brother lent me his car for this week which means I don't need to bus/train
3 - I just received $xxxxx/- from my aunt...

I don't deserve such grace

But thank You Lord

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Schooling

Now's almost past week 2 of my uni life...

Somehow, I can feel the weariness every now and then...no good no good...

Lectures are like the bullet trains that goes non-stop throughout the lessons...
How to catch up?!?!?

On the other hand, I really really really don't know how I got to this, but
I got to apply for hall!!

Which means my commitment to Crusade is going to be slightly off-loaded since I don't have to
"journey to the west" every morning!! Plus I can commit to my IVP team, that's if I get in =S

After all these, I can really see a glimpse of how God interverns and works according to His plans =))

I'm holding onto You...

My grades will not matter more than letting Your will be done =)

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Crazy or Lazy?

Today is only day 3! day 3!

Here's some updates:

1 - Just came home at 10plus after attending crusade weekly meet-up, which is going to be marked on my calendar so I''ll be there!

2 - School timetable just isn't going to magically going to change but I believe it can be utilized to the best of me.

3 - I just received my EID briefing notes. EID is a year-long project with 7 other students to come up with a product and to fabricate/market/design it from scratch in view of May 2010's fair...Not sure what this is about, but it has certainly come as a surprise because it means more lectures and time on projects...

4 - I passed my QET so yeah! No need for redundant lesson!!!! PTL =))

I suppose after these 3 days of schooling has really challenged my faith and commitment to God. All these work/lessons/projects/assignments are pouring in like the Niagara Falls...

Nevertheless, I've learnt to keep trusting God and stay close to my Lord...
And a proof of it, these 3 days may have been long but I find myself still able to manage...
Looking to God for strength and endurance...
Lead me on O God

Pray PRAY!!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Living by grace

Now is day 2 of uni life..

Shall say things have simmered down and I thank God for bringing nice friends into my life..

Things are still very uncertain and I can't see myself ahead in a few years time..

Nevertheless, I will trust in Him who is faithful and good..

It has been a time of testing and more to come..
I'm amazed at how brittle and fragile my faith is..
Will I still be able to stand when the trials come?
Will I still be able to trust and believe in God?

Why am I even asking myself that question now?
I seriously don't know..
I find it really hard to love..
I'm single and I think I know why..

I need God's grace..Seriously

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

First Day of Uni life

Life in school = Hectic

I've never been so busy running around campus..

Searching for classrooms and fighting to buy the last set of notes available..

I'm glad I got through day 1, thank You God =))

Just done up my study table and filing all my notes and tutorials..

Okay maybe not all due to shortage of the notes but yeah, I'm pretty proud of myself! haha

Well it was sure crazy travelling to and fro school..

I was trying to nap on the ride home but it was hard, yet I nodded off..

Seems like that's going to be the life for the next 17 weeks or so..

God help me! I don't want to do this on my own!!

Jesus loves =))

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Love: the greatest of them all

It's been an awesome Sunday...

Loved today's worship..love the team..

There was an unspoken chemistry in the team and we could worship God and still worked together..

Message was great too..Rom 5:17 talking about God's provision of grace and gift of righteousness...

This weekend has been totally enriching and fulfilling...

Training with Sparks was great, David has a gifting for the Word I must say...
Now preparing to share cell bible study seems so much clearer than before...

After service headed to Dhoby Ghaut for late-lunch with church peeps...
Persuaded to watch HP with Joel and Mabel, oh thanks Joel for the movie treat!
I didn't know dumb-ber-door was suppose to be gay ahaha...
Was nodding off every now and then in the cinema ahaha...was just too tired...

Then after movie I couldn't decide between heading home or having dinner with Joel...
The usual-me would choose the former since I'm such a loner guy...
But I believe God had a plan for me to choose the latter...

Had my fav. western @ AMK S-11...And yes, the portion has shrunk!!!
Then had an awesome time of sharing and talking with Joel...
It's totally unexpected but I guess, it's true that hanging out with friends is really great...
It was nice to talk about stuff in church and God and love...
Nothing between us, just brotherly love! hahahahaha....

Oh well, I'm convinced that I should hang out with my friends more often...
Hope so and looking forward to it...

Heard this during morning service about the church being as one...
I'm still trying to come to terms with that...
If we are meant to be as one in the body of Christ,
then why can't we resolve our differences and issues?

I'll trust in God
I'll trust in You
I'll trust in You with all my heart
El-Shaddai

Friday, July 31, 2009

Crusade FOC

Living a surrendered life to answer God's call to go forth to be a salt and light unto the world and to bear fruit and win souls all over NTU

God if CC is Your will for me, then I pray You make it crystal clear to me...

Lord use me, here I am send me...

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

A New Creation

I am a new creation in Him..

I will live by the Spirit; the Spirit of God who has called me His own..

Camp's coming up in 2 days' time, not sure what to expect..

School's coming up very soon as well, hmm, uni life finally..

Well my mind's set on Campus Crusade, I pray that I'll not let the chances slip by..

God how I wish my past mistakes can be reconciliated and resolved..

Maybe, maybe not; It's in His hands..

On a side note: Thank you friend for being my friend, really.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Passion?

And it carries on...

Something's gone wrong, I know so.

God, I wish You'll tell me what is it..

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Pray

What have I become?

That passion...fire...hunger...

God sent my dear friend to remind me...

I hope this tides over real soon...

Thursday, July 16, 2009

ORD LO!!

This post is specially dedicated to you pinkie..

I am finally going to see you after 2 years!!!
I missed you so much since the day I handed you over..
I didn't meant to but I had no choice..
I was forced to do it and it would be for our own good..

But never mind the past I suppose..
I went through all that shit and crap for a reason..
And now I face the day..
That we can once again be together again..

You will forever be in my arms..
In my wallet you will find home..
I'll never leave home without you..
I can never live without you..

I will take care of you till I die..
Be it in sickness and in health..
Be it in poor or in richness..
Be it anywhere or anytime..

We will always be together..

I love you..

My PINK IC!

~MUACKZ~

hahahaahahahahahaha!!!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Letting go

Maybe letting you go was what God had all along...

And now it's all none and I shall not be in want,

God is my Great Shepherd and I know He loves me.

I pray for only His plans, THE BEST =))


I just can't forget the good old days.............

Thursday, June 25, 2009

4 weeks and counting

It's coming to a month of my boring-stay-at-home-and-do-nothing...

Looking back, I guess hey it ain't so bad =))

Just finished Prison Break season 4! HAH! Thanks Roche for all your help...

Now onto How I Met Your Mother...

I didn't expect much of the series but hey guess what,

this American sitcom caused me to produce quite a lot of laughing gas this week =D

Oh well, but life's not meant to be all fun and no work right...

School's gona start; I'm gonna ORD...

I suppose life goes on even when the world is turned off right?

Just a thought, so what would be meaningful to you in your lifetime?

*Smiles*

Saturday, June 20, 2009

God my strength

It's 330am in the morning...

I think I passed my bedtime and now I can't sleep argh!

Went to watch Night at the Museum 2 just now, not too bad.

Week's been pretty good. I must say, I'm starting to like this stay-home-no-work life haha...

Quite a few events that perked my week: Nic's "surprise" birthday; A new aircon for me; Catching up with old friend... Guess I have also been experiencing some emotional roller coaster...

I mean, come on, who doesn't? You try staying at home for 3 weeks!! =D Just kidding...

Been led to read the book of Ecclesiastes for the past weeks, interesting book...
Can't wait to see what God wants to reveal...maybe Everything is meaningless hahaha...

Well on a side note for all you faithful readers =)
Maybe things just will never work out, maybe not in this life time.
What if God wanted it to be this way? What do you think?
A broken bridge that will never be mended...You'll know what I mean =)

Never mind all that. God still loves you and me the same =)

YAWNS!!! Good night peeps!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Love

I have always been pondering over this...

God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son so that those who believe in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. - John 3:16

This is a tough one.

I would rather give up my faith and salvation to Heaven than not be able to live out God's two greatest commandments that is to love Him and others as myself.

Cause I believe in love.

What would you do?

Left or Right?

Sometimes, life is just seem so simple.

Sometimes, so hard.

Things like a decision to go left or right?

To eat chinese or western food?

To drink tea or coffee?

To stay or to leave?

Maybe I'll just have to make a choice..

Putting this off for far, far, far too long...
My brother, I really hope you are to talk to me...
There's just no one else to turn to...
For those of you close ones who've been there, thank you from my heart...
Thank you

Friday, June 12, 2009

Muvees

Was just watching good luck chuck...
No wonder the lead actress is so hot, it's JESSICA ALBA hah

"To love someone/something is to be able to let it go"

Is that really true? Maybe it's the world's perception of love,
but somehow I think it does makes sense...

Maybe cause I am starting to let go,
maybe it doesn't really matter at all.

Bella Soares - Chasing Cars

This is a lovely rendition...
Saw her video on my cousin's blog decided to hear...

Nice vid and sound effects =)

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Stuck

Here I am.

Day 4 and I am still stuck at home..

Can't do pretty much...

but I'm glad Sparks will be at my place tomorrow...we're gonna do our planning =)

Thursday, June 4, 2009

ETA 12 hours

It's countdown 12 hours to my operation.

I know I'll be alone tomorrow till Sat.
Dad ain't free due to work so he's just coming to pick me up on sat,
I don't know how to react to it.
It's feels like my surgery doesn't matter to him but I know I won't believe it.

God, I know I still have You.
I still have friends who care out there.
I know I have.
I'll trust in You.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

By Faith

What a simple yet important truth! FAITH!

2 more days and I should not worry, have the faith that my God will bring me through this season!

Met up with Pastor Edmund for dinner today. Wasn't sure of what to expect but God's awesome!

Him and his wife has been such a blessing to me recently and I feel the passion to serve God wholeheartedly!

I'm unsure but I am sure that God will lead me =D

All for Him I live! Only for Him I live!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Healing

Knee op's this friday.

Too soon? I thought so.

Just right? I prayed for.

Too late? God is never.

Oh well, am going under the knife in 3days' time so I'll be MIA for quite a while.

So for those of you who care, do keep me in prayer against complications...
I don't know how I'll be after Friday so yeah...

Anyway some details for you:
Friday will be the operation and I will be staying 1 night in NUH.
Discharging on Saturday morning.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Love Love Love





Today strangely, I would say is about love =D

In youth service, Nic preached about brotherly love and I felt it was so timely a message.
Pray and ask God to bring friends to me and I myself make an effort to befriend others.

But I always asked myself, how far would I go for a friend? Lay down my life?

I suppose today God used the sermon to challenge me, though I thought it was a small favor.
If you, my dear reader, have been following me these years, you would know that I am a person with not many or nil close friends in my life. I meant in my opinion cause I know that there are friends are out there who will lay down their lives for me (I hope! hhaahaha).

But one thing's for sure. Be it whether there are such friends in my life, 
I commit myself to being one like that. 
So if you ever, ever need me to even lay down my life for you.
I'll be there for you my friends out there.
I'll be there. 

Cause I know Jesus my Lord loves me so much,
and I'll choose to love the same way.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Love, love

Having talked to a friend about BGRs and stuff, I've come to realize several points.

Life's really interesting when you take a pause and look back.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

God has new things for me this year

She's beautiful!!! Isn't she?


Yes and I believe so.

It seemed like God took while to reveal such stuff to me, but I believe He has His reasons and plans. Lord, things seem so different now as I see it. In every way, strangely it seems different...

Nevertheless, I pray You grant me the faith to trust in You as I take every step of faith everyday.
To live a child in awe of You, thank You God for every, and I mean everything I encountered.
It has been amazing, and I believe more is to come.
I pray for my every friend that You bless them, and teach me to love all of them, especially those I find hard to love.

Jesus, it was because of what You've done that I am standing here today alive and well.
And I thank You =) Cause You're just so sweet and awesome!

Amen

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Blessed blessed

I was blessed today.

It was quite unexpected. Invited to dinner with P. Edmund and wife.

A lovely time with them and of cause, with my teriyaki chicken ramen =D

I might have seen a glimpse of what God has prepared for me,

and yes, I will even die for His ministry!!

Amen! Glory be to God =)

Monday, May 18, 2009

Mickey, City Hall and Samsam


Well I took Off today and I'm glad I met up with samsam =)

A nice, decent lunch at a Hongkong cafe..followed by a random time of shooting around city hall

Oh yea, the arts exhibit was nice. See how creative our local young ones can be!

Then it was down to Pen. Hotel and drooling over the lomos and lenses...

We grabbed a drink at the bubble tea shop and I learnt something about samsam today =D

Decided to chill at the open gallery on the 3rd floor. Was nice to just sit down and just relac one corner! haha...

Nevertheless, I enjoyed the outing today..The sharings and the meal..The bubble-tea..The baby dress..The CK Euphoria!!!

Thank God and thank you friend =)


Saturday, May 16, 2009

Pray pray and ...pray

Today prayed for several key people...

Though I maybe alone, but I know that I was never alone there.

God, I will hold on and hold onto You.

As quoted from someone somewheree,

When I am faithless, You are faithful

How beautiful is that!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Pray Pray Pray

It's been a long weekend, yet feels so short.

Had Soaking Night with Worship Team - Awesome time with Jesus.
Dinner fellowship with Justin and family plus Joel - Lovely.
Prayer Meeting, just Matt, me and God Himself - WoW.
Fellowship with my brothers(Close buddies) - Crazy wacky time.

I thank God for a eventful weekend despite Swine Flu!
Prayer meeting was just Matt and me. 
We had our joyful moment with Him and interceding and sharing our lives.

Some of the things I shared actually happened on today's service and Matt and I just laughed at it!

Call upon the Name of the Lord and be saved -It was the worship song I sang at prayer meeting. I just feel God is always full of surprises and so mysterious.

Thank God =) 

Headed to ECP today for Baptism. Initially did not intend to but I went in the end.

It was kind of different from past baptisms I attended, don't know exactly why..

Thank the Lord daily and remember Him in all that we do, Amen!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Interestly hmm...

I feel loved when...

The Five Love Languages

My Primary Love Language is Quality Time

My Detailed Results:
Quality Time: 8
Words of Affirmation: 7
Physical Touch: 7
Receiving Gifts: 5
Acts of Service: 3
This is really an interesting test.
But, since I already read the book before,
I doubt my result are accurate.
I am definitely a person towards quality time and physical touch =)

Monday, April 27, 2009

Thanksgiving

It was a tiring, long yet beautiful weekend. 

Thank You God.

Details won't be put here but I want to live my life constantly thanking God for the things He has done for me.

Some thing on the other hand are not so good, but Jesus I have learnt to thank You as well and to put my hope only in You.

I shall look forth ahead and no turning back, 

Jesus is my help in times of need.

Amen.

Passion

Today was AGM after combined service.

Overall, I felt really discouraged by the session.

Since I'm blogging here, I will post my thoughts with utmost frankness.

Point 1 - I agree that times are down and bad and the whole world is going nuts over how to survive another day. But what about us as Christians? Do we need to worry like the world does? Did Jesus not feed the 5000 and even the 4000 on another occasion? If it is not known to anyone, Jesus actually needed more bread and fish to feed the 4000 than the 5000!

So what do I think about the economy and budgetting? 

Yes I agree we need prudence! We need to know how every cent is spent in the church to prevent anyone from falling into temptation by money, BUT let us not be blinded by the constraints of the economy. Let us stop worrying so much about how the economy will affect our church's progress.

You and me serve GOD, not money. So beat it Devil, you shall have no stronghold in our Church in JESUS' NAME!

Point 2 - Want to know how many salvations and attendees for the events, especially for the youth? I would say please look back and if anyone does not remember, it WAS reported that Le Grande had 60 visitors and 6 salvations!

If you are reading my posts and wondering why the over-reacted posts, it's simply because I cannot stand the questions asked during AGM and I was the chairman of Le Grande. 
I feel hurt by the judgemental criticisms/comments/remarks/questions.

Here's my views for whoever is interested:
1 - Tell me any events ever in WRPF history that had 6 salvations during the event itself. I can hardly remember. If you do, please tag me and remind me. I will thank God for that and keep it in my heart.

2 - Tell me is it a rationale to compare dollar for every soul saved? Then can anyone explain why events that costs tens of thousands cannot gain more souls that 1 Le Grande which costed about 3k?

3 - Tell me if I am wrong, that the youths and Young Adults did not put their efforts into the 2 events? I still remembered Le Papillon's organisers in Church the night before, trying to rush out every detail to make sure the event would be presentable. And Le Grande, does anyone know how many people were involved and how much manpower was put into it? 

Seriously I have so much more to blast out here but I refuse to. For the Glory of God and may God have mercy on me, I pray that we are doing our individual best for God and not stand one side criticising what others are doing for God and forgetting what they are really trying to achieve. 

I thought AGM was all about God's House and His business.

Yet today it felt like a circus to me; a joke. 

I hope we did not have any visitors sitting in today, may God forgive us for our ignorance.


Finally to my dear readers, I hope to let you understand that I believe in using every effort to reach out and win souls for God, no matter what the cost! 

And that our lives would show how true our faith is in Christ. No need for evaluation. God sees our hearts and He will know. So why not start living out our lives the way God wants us to!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Higher

Jesus was raised from the dead by God.

God can do the same for my finances, for my work/studies and even my relationships.

He can do the same for you too.

He can set you free from your sins.

Do you want Him to?

God bless!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I don't understand

There it was, the trip I did not expect to sign up for.
I did, on that day I took the form.
I did not know and I did not expect the unexpected.

I told God I don't know how I would handle it.
I asked Him to show me how or make a way for me.

In the end, I guess He really did. 

I'm confused. So many possiblities running through my mind. 
Should I have never agreed to go?

If there is one thing I've learnt, 
God is faithful in every seaon and I should (or must) trust in Him.

Jesus, Lifter of my head I hold on to You

Monday, April 13, 2009

Praise the Lord

God is good all the time and
all the time God is good!

Church income has increased in 2008 despite the downturns and I choose to believe that it was God who has provided all this time.

May we continue to trust in Him to bring us through every season and let us not be in want for He is our Good Shepherd.

Warriors of God rise up and know that He has never forsaken us in our crusade for Christ =)

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Easter

Today is Easter. This week was remembrance of Jesus' death and resurrection.

I am reminded once again of His great Love, Agape love that supercedes everything.

Jesus loves me this I know,
For the Bible tells me so.

This week went by really quick since it was a 4 day work week.
Got to see how God worked in my camp with my friends.
I pray that one day, they will come to know You Jesus.

On a side note, I was speaking to A Mary today and heard a news that kind of surprised me.
I don't know how I will handle it but I guess God has a plan =)

Jesus loves you and me!

Friday, April 10, 2009

The reason I live

And this day, I dedicate this post to You.

You who came to this world;

To take all my sin and shame;

To make a way for me;

Irregardless of who I am or what I had done;

You loved me and You still love me.

This is for You, Lord Jesus!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Fairness?

At a recent competition of the Nationals’ Inter-Schools Badminton round robin, I have very strong reasons to believe a questionable judgment was made. Anglican High and Maris Stella High were involved in this incident were playing against each other, deciding who will proceed to the next level of the Nationals which is held yearly.

The match was played over 5 games, namely 3 singles and 2 doubles games in the Lower Secondary Division, commonly known as the C’ Division in the school sporting scene. The event came down right to the very last moment as both sides had won 2 games each, the school that wins the final singles game will win the match and eventually proceed to the next round robin.

As it was held at Tampines Indoor Sports Hall and the match was the last game of the day that was ongoing, spectators from other participating schools and onlookers gathered around to watch the single deciding game that meant a lot to both schools involved.

The game went on to a 3rd set that dragged on even to deuce at 20 plus points, which in the badminton scene is quite a rare occasion. Both sides were determined to enter the next round. I happened to be a graduate from Maris Stella High; I feel that Singaporeans need to know that the local schools sporting scene does not only promote excellence but should also enforce honesty and fairness in every sport.

Right down to the crucial moment, my school’s player dived to receive a smash from his opponent and managed to receive the shuttlecock over the net. He won the game point. The line-judge, who was from a third-party school, declared the shuttle in the court (which was very obviously within the court) to the umpire(also known as the referee). My school team jumped to their feet, rejoicing and cheering over the victory they would had gave away just moments ago.

At this point, the umpire did not announce the results and which school was the winner, which was questionable as the Rules state that the umpire must declare the winner immediately once the game point was won. The umpire was then seen by many speaking to the opposing team’s head coach, who is a well-known name in the local badminton scene, before declaring to my school’s team that they actually lost as he had judged the shuttlecock out of the court.

This was contrary to the line-judge’s decision and I believed many spectators at the game. My point here is why did the umpire not declared the winner immediately as the Rules stated?  And by having spoken to the opposing team’s coach in private, what happened to affect his final decision in declaring the winning team?

I am encouraged to hear that Singapore will be hosting the Youth Olympic Games, which would bring together the world’s finest youth athletes. Yet, such incidents that might be happening around in the local sporting scene has brought up doubts in my heart such as fairness in the sporting scene.

I am disappointed to know that my school’s team has lost their chance to proceed to the next level. Though having submitted their appeal to the Convener for the games, chances are slim that the judgment be overturned. But I am writing in belief that our sporting scene would become one that is world-class in terms of standards and free of questionable factors. 

Sunday, March 29, 2009

I gotta live my life like this!

Lord if it is Your will, then let it be so =)

Let me be free to run, to praise You.
In every season, my God is great!

And God is good all the time,
all the time God is good!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

The Song of Love

And Lord, I desire to sing the song of Love
All my life, I just want to sing that song
Jesus my Lover, my Savior
I will never know how much You love me

I'm glad I went for songwriting (Shhh).
Today marks the first step of the revolution in my life,
Jesus I will live for You!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

To my beloved ones

Dear brothers and sisters,

I am thankful to God for blessing with you in my life.

Of late, I realized I need to start pursuing Him like never before.

I am "ok" and will seek the Lord to be my pillar of strength.

I know He will never leave nor forsake me.

I thank you for your love and concerns and assure you,

that whatever decisions I make or will make, shall be one that is of God's will.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Spiritual Orphan

John 14: 18 says:

I will not leave you as orphans; I willl come to you.

That was Jesus' promise to His disciples that they will never be alone.
I look at the lives of the disciples before Jesus' death.

They knew Jesus personally.
They touched Him.
They talked to Him.
They heard Him.

Yet some doubted Him; some denied Him; some betrayed Him.

Man, as hard as he could try, is as imperfect as ever.
O Lord, indeed only You are worthy, good and faithful.
I pray that in this season, You make Your presence so obvious to me.
Be my comforter and strength, when there is no one else to turn to.
Lord, I thank You for the few people who were here for me when I needed to talk.
But You are the One who has never left nor forsaken me.
As I seek You and run after You, I pray that You'll show me the way.
I will stick to my commitment and not my emotions.
It does not mean that I will be taken for granted.
The place You lead me to, I will go.
The time has come, I shall waste no more of it.
I will go where You send me.

The Radical

Luke 9:23-24 says:

Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it. But whoever loses his life for me will save it."

I've not been going after the things God has wanted me to.

Maybe I've not been going after these with the right heart.

Whatever it is, I want to do what the verse says, deny myself and take up my cross daily and follow Jesus.

Even if it means to make a decision that displeases everyone else.

Dear God, be my source of help.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Selah

Time of rest and stillness to come.

See you soon...

Saturday, March 14, 2009

I Surrender All

Marcus will go all the way out for Him, with Him and to Him.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Psalm 23

Today was really physically exhaustive.

Maybe I should reduce it from twice to once?

Maybe I should stop teaching?

Maybe I should stop coming together?

Maybes here. Maybes there.
I choose not to do what I want but what He wants.
God, may I receive Your strengthening and restoration.
To be enabled to do Your will.
Amen.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Psalm 23 again

I believe it was totally God's working.

We had Psalm 23 for our meditation during last night's prayer meeting.
I had the inspiration from a song "The Lord's my Shepherd".

Lo and Behold, at Combined service today the speaker was touching on Psalm 23!!!

And I heard from Matthew that GNK was touching on Psalm 23 as well!!

You may think it's all planned out for,
but I choose to see that God has divinely revealed Himself.

Today's takeaway from service was perception of the World as Christians.
How are you affected by the world today? If you went bankrupt, would you still praise God?

I think I have not gotten over it. 
It seemed to have become worse.
I start to imagine things ahead in the future.
But I shall not, and trust God to make a way for me.

=) Have a blessed week in Christ Jesus!

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Psalm 23

A beautiful passage.

God is my provider.

I will need not lack anything.

Because the shepherd feeds His sheep daily.

Amen

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Blank...

She refuses to talk.

Simply refuses to.

Maybe I'm imagining things.

But this is what I'm getting.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The un-deserving grace of God

As of tonight,

I will be praying...

praying for people...

in my heart that I feel that something ain't right...

those who have/had issues against me;

those who have been hurt by me;

those who I have discriminated against;

and those who I may have hurt before.

Because Jesus You love me,
I will love the same.
I pray for the above,
that they will not stay the same.

I'll fall, fall into Your arms of love

Dear God,

I pray that I will never have enough of You in my life.
Please open my eyes to see the vastness of Your creation;
Open my ears to listen to the ongoing sounds and wonders of Your praises,
and soften my heart to feel the hearts of the people You put in this world.

I hope You change me to be like never before;
how I was ignorant of Your mercy and compassion towards me;
how You loved me again and again despite of my stubbornness,
and gave Your only Son for me.

I was once lost but now am found,
I am saved but I never deserve this.
I am renewed but I feel the same,
Why O God?Why?

In my life I only hope for one thing,
that Your will be done and accomplished.
Your name be high and lifted up,
Yet I know the journey will not be easy.

I look to my left and to my right,
Who can I turn to in times of trouble?
I see Your people turn and walk away,
at a time when You said You are coming back again.

You came and You called,
that those who believe in You will be saved.
Yet in the saving grace of Yours,
it was as if the price that was paid was cheap.

There is no one like You,
None who is worthy to save our souls.
The lamb that was slain,
it has got to be Jesus.

So now I live my life,
in times of joy and moments of pain.
I will lift my voice to call out loud,
to my God who is forever faithful.

Thank You God,
Love You because You first loved me.
I pray,
that You teach me to love those who do not love me the same.

It should not matter to me,
because it never mattered to You.
I ask You give me the perseverance and determination,
to hold fast to what You have taught me.

I was lost,
but now am found.
In no one but You,
JESUS.