Just sent off Yong En for his mission trip.
Come to think of it, I have been to the airport in the last few months more than I have had in the 24 years of my life. Seeing people off, receiving people or even flying off myself.
Coming and going has seem to be such a routine that I have to constantly remind myself that even if someone is leaving for a 3day trip, I should never take for granted that the person is leaving and able to come back safely. Also for myself, to acknowledge God's faithfulness and protection over me when I travel. Because we never know when the matchstick of our lives burns out and we're taken home in the blink of an eye.
It'll be 43 hours to my departure. My longest time away from Singapore, away from home, away from my family as well as my spiritual family. People I've been so used to seeing so often, people I may or may not have taken for granted. I'm still asking God my objective for this trip. I know I've signed up for Hillsong Conference. I know I've committed to stay in Sisterhood for 3 weeks thereafter. But time waits for no one (other than Joshua in the Bible). And I really don't want to miss out what the Lord has prepared for me.
I suppose the most vital thing for me is to constantly remain in the NOW-ness. Be it in the midst of a crowd of worshippers or by myself in the center of God's natural creation, I'll maintain a posture of being in the NOW with Him. I'm still afraid of penning down my expectations because I may blind myself to what He wants to reveal to me. In a way, I'm in a fix!
Nevertheless, I will simply go in faith and be in the NOW! =D
Side note: God has been really gracious to me and faithful in providing. Just when I settled in my mind to live with 500AUD for the time there, how You've provided at least 1000SGD for me. How every debt I have is cleared and every expense along the way has been met by Your grace. O Lord, teach me truly to live with no more or less but be satisfied in You. My heart gives thanks to You for Your Goodness and Kindness.
Thank You Abba.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
What the Lord can do
Joshua 6 (Fall of Jericho):
It only serves to remind me all the more that certain matters only God can deliver since often we try to take things into our own hands. In the case of taking Jericho, the Lord showed Himself strong before Israel. All it was needed on Israel's part was to obey in faith what was told of them to do and the Lord was with them.
The marching around the wall for 6 days.
The marching around the wall for 7 times on the 7th day.
The united shouting at the sound of the ram's horn.
I'm pretty sure the walls would never have collapsed without the intervention of a supernatural power.
Surely Israel had to trust in God again after what they have been through with Him all that years right? Even if those who were brought out of Egypt had died, this new generation had seen how God stopped the Jordan river, how He brought down the walls of Jericho!
*Having personally encountered God in our lives/generation, has there been any transformation in us? Has our faith in Him to do greater things increased?
Got me thinking about Rahab as well. How would she feel when her country is being captured by another? When her fellow countrymen are dying outside, when the fall of her country was solely because of her one lie.
Joshua and the spies remembered Rahab for what she had done for Israel. Likewise, things we do have lasting impact and consequence. In the case of Rahab and the spies, if Rahab chose not to believe in the spies' word of trust to spare her and her family, Joshua may never know the situation within Jericho. Yet the effects of Rahab's one lie and trusting the spies, an entire nation/city falls and burns to the ground.
*Our actions has consequences, perhaps even lasting effect on ourselves and people around us. How are you making decisions in life? Is God in the centre of your decisions?
Joshua 7 (Achan's Sin):
Seems to me the Lord has a perfect track record in winning battles and wars. Why do I say so? When the Israelites were struck down (36 out of 1000), their hearts melted and became like water. Which battle in our history has no casualties? Reading this just sets me thinking beyond the numbers. When the Israelites do not win, they knew immediately that the Lord was not with them. Surely they had sinned against Him in the process.
I was caught by verse 10, The Lord said to Joshua, "Stand up! What are you doing down on your face?..."
Joshua could not figure what they had done wrong to lose an 'easy battle' but the Lord clearly knows it all. He instructed Joshua to sieve out the culprit who had sinned against what the Lord had commanded. From tribe by tribe down to man by man, the culprit was pinpointed and there was no second chance. Achan and his children and all that he had was stoned and burned in the valley of Achor, as the Lord had instructed.
...for the Lord searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought, how important it is for us to remember that nothing is hidden from God. But if we have displeased the Lord in a certain decision or action, then the rightful thing to do is turn back to Him. The Israelites did not have Jesus as their Saviour back then, but they knew very well the need to live transparently before the Lord and in every part of their lives, devote to Him.
*Is there a (dark) area of our lives that we need to surrender to Him? Perhaps it has been hindering us from coming back into His arms?
Joshua 8 (Ai Destroyed):
*Power in raised hands*
The symbolic act of raising hands is traced back to the times of Joshua, even Moses. The more familiar story that we all know is that Moses parted the Red Sea through the raising of his staff (of course we know God was the One who did the parting!), Moses also kept his hands raised during the battles and when his arms were tired and his hands were down, they began to lose the war. So significant is the raising of hands as an outward expression of Faith. Raising of hands is a common sign in this world of Surrender. But as people of God, we surrender not to our enemies but to the Lord our God. We surrender ourselves to Him and allow Him to intervene.
Verse 18: Then the Lord said to Joshua, "Hold out toward Ai the javelin that is in your hand, for into your hand I will deliver the city." So Joshua held out his javelin toward Ai.
When we come together and worship God, often we see some people raising their hands in worship. No doubt it is a symbolic act of surrendering ourselves as a living sacrifice, it is a personal conviction to do so. For myself, it has been helpful because physically raising my hands brings about surrendering inside me. It cannot be described in words but when the Holy Spirit comes and takes over, you know you have entered into His presence with a surrendered heart.
*God desires a surrendered heart in those seek Him with all their heart. Have you surrendered to Him?
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Today marks a 40 day journey for myself even as I prepare myself for the coming Australia trip. I know what I am seeking the Lord about but more importantly, I want to seek Him about what He has for me, what He wish to say to me. Lord the future is uncertain but You are certain.
Your Love is sure. Your Faithfulness is sure. Your Grace is sure.
Let all of my hope be in You and You alone.
It only serves to remind me all the more that certain matters only God can deliver since often we try to take things into our own hands. In the case of taking Jericho, the Lord showed Himself strong before Israel. All it was needed on Israel's part was to obey in faith what was told of them to do and the Lord was with them.
The marching around the wall for 6 days.
The marching around the wall for 7 times on the 7th day.
The united shouting at the sound of the ram's horn.
I'm pretty sure the walls would never have collapsed without the intervention of a supernatural power.
Surely Israel had to trust in God again after what they have been through with Him all that years right? Even if those who were brought out of Egypt had died, this new generation had seen how God stopped the Jordan river, how He brought down the walls of Jericho!
*Having personally encountered God in our lives/generation, has there been any transformation in us? Has our faith in Him to do greater things increased?
Got me thinking about Rahab as well. How would she feel when her country is being captured by another? When her fellow countrymen are dying outside, when the fall of her country was solely because of her one lie.
Joshua and the spies remembered Rahab for what she had done for Israel. Likewise, things we do have lasting impact and consequence. In the case of Rahab and the spies, if Rahab chose not to believe in the spies' word of trust to spare her and her family, Joshua may never know the situation within Jericho. Yet the effects of Rahab's one lie and trusting the spies, an entire nation/city falls and burns to the ground.
*Our actions has consequences, perhaps even lasting effect on ourselves and people around us. How are you making decisions in life? Is God in the centre of your decisions?
Joshua 7 (Achan's Sin):
Seems to me the Lord has a perfect track record in winning battles and wars. Why do I say so? When the Israelites were struck down (36 out of 1000), their hearts melted and became like water. Which battle in our history has no casualties? Reading this just sets me thinking beyond the numbers. When the Israelites do not win, they knew immediately that the Lord was not with them. Surely they had sinned against Him in the process.
I was caught by verse 10, The Lord said to Joshua, "Stand up! What are you doing down on your face?..."
Joshua could not figure what they had done wrong to lose an 'easy battle' but the Lord clearly knows it all. He instructed Joshua to sieve out the culprit who had sinned against what the Lord had commanded. From tribe by tribe down to man by man, the culprit was pinpointed and there was no second chance. Achan and his children and all that he had was stoned and burned in the valley of Achor, as the Lord had instructed.
...for the Lord searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought, how important it is for us to remember that nothing is hidden from God. But if we have displeased the Lord in a certain decision or action, then the rightful thing to do is turn back to Him. The Israelites did not have Jesus as their Saviour back then, but they knew very well the need to live transparently before the Lord and in every part of their lives, devote to Him.
*Is there a (dark) area of our lives that we need to surrender to Him? Perhaps it has been hindering us from coming back into His arms?
Joshua 8 (Ai Destroyed):
*Power in raised hands*
The symbolic act of raising hands is traced back to the times of Joshua, even Moses. The more familiar story that we all know is that Moses parted the Red Sea through the raising of his staff (of course we know God was the One who did the parting!), Moses also kept his hands raised during the battles and when his arms were tired and his hands were down, they began to lose the war. So significant is the raising of hands as an outward expression of Faith. Raising of hands is a common sign in this world of Surrender. But as people of God, we surrender not to our enemies but to the Lord our God. We surrender ourselves to Him and allow Him to intervene.
Verse 18: Then the Lord said to Joshua, "Hold out toward Ai the javelin that is in your hand, for into your hand I will deliver the city." So Joshua held out his javelin toward Ai.
When we come together and worship God, often we see some people raising their hands in worship. No doubt it is a symbolic act of surrendering ourselves as a living sacrifice, it is a personal conviction to do so. For myself, it has been helpful because physically raising my hands brings about surrendering inside me. It cannot be described in words but when the Holy Spirit comes and takes over, you know you have entered into His presence with a surrendered heart.
*God desires a surrendered heart in those seek Him with all their heart. Have you surrendered to Him?
---------------------
Today marks a 40 day journey for myself even as I prepare myself for the coming Australia trip. I know what I am seeking the Lord about but more importantly, I want to seek Him about what He has for me, what He wish to say to me. Lord the future is uncertain but You are certain.
Your Love is sure. Your Faithfulness is sure. Your Grace is sure.
Let all of my hope be in You and You alone.
Your Love never fails, it never gives up. It never runs out on me.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Would have. Could have. Should have.
Practising the presence of God.
A takeaway today again after meeting up. And i choose to believe its so vital for me at this juncture.
As I walked out of that store thinking I should have bought that book and read it. That's nothing wrong in it but what would he want me to do? And eventually I did not, as I learn to seek Him and ask of His Will.
Practising the presence of God. Always. And He will do the rest.
A takeaway today again after meeting up. And i choose to believe its so vital for me at this juncture.
As I walked out of that store thinking I should have bought that book and read it. That's nothing wrong in it but what would he want me to do? And eventually I did not, as I learn to seek Him and ask of His Will.
Practising the presence of God. Always. And He will do the rest.
Joshua 5 (Circumcision and God's Army):
Verses 1-9 focused on God's requirement to Joshua to cirumcise all the people a second time. The outward expression is straight forward, for those who belong to the Lord are circumcised.
*Today being born after Christ's resurrection, we are no longer required to be physically circumcised but in the spiritual aspect, how are we to be circumcised and set apart for the Lord? Do we focus much on what we do rather than who we are in Him?
Verses 10-12: The Lord's daily provision of manna has ceased and Israel now eats the produce of the land. God has kept His covenant of providence to Israel that in the wildderness, it was more than just seeing God provide in His Faithfulness, it is comprehending the magnitude of His Love to provide daily for His people.
*How do we view His faithfulness day to day? Have we considered the Love God has for us that drives Him to faithfully provide?
Verses 13-15: Joshua encounters the Commander of the Lord's Army. Though the angel only claims to be the commander of the Lord's Army, Joshua immediately identified Himself as God's servant. Joshua knew he was not the absolute leader, he was just serving the Lord as an instrument in leading Israel.
*Do we like Joshua, know who is our master? Do we practise a habit of submission to God?
*Today being born after Christ's resurrection, we are no longer required to be physically circumcised but in the spiritual aspect, how are we to be circumcised and set apart for the Lord? Do we focus much on what we do rather than who we are in Him?
Verses 10-12: The Lord's daily provision of manna has ceased and Israel now eats the produce of the land. God has kept His covenant of providence to Israel that in the wildderness, it was more than just seeing God provide in His Faithfulness, it is comprehending the magnitude of His Love to provide daily for His people.
*How do we view His faithfulness day to day? Have we considered the Love God has for us that drives Him to faithfully provide?
Verses 13-15: Joshua encounters the Commander of the Lord's Army. Though the angel only claims to be the commander of the Lord's Army, Joshua immediately identified Himself as God's servant. Joshua knew he was not the absolute leader, he was just serving the Lord as an instrument in leading Israel.
*Do we like Joshua, know who is our master? Do we practise a habit of submission to God?
What is next?
Serving God has never been such faith-raising. I remember how comfortable it was whenever I needed cash for a mission trip or getting some big-ticket item, God always provided from within my home: the Father Fund.
It was really easy and I saw that as His means of providing especially when my dad refuses to accept God in a nice way. It was only last year that I resolved to moving in faith.
So last December for my mission trip to Myanmar, a group of loving brothers and sisters chipped in for my trip though I really really never expected it for my birthday! It was the beginning of something new for me, to learn to operate in complete faith and comprehend just how much love that is around me!
Finance is definitely a big issue in serving God but perhaps, He knows it so well that He assures us of His providence as well as not to serve money but God himself only. Money is only a means of glorifying Him.
So this year, having to scrimp and save for church camp and my upcoming Australia trip to Hillsong/Sisterhood has been a journey on the line of Faith. Seeing how God always came through for me only reminded all the more that I will never be able to outgive Him.
After all, I did pray to God to give me no more or less to what I need, that i may never forget Him in the process. Going by Faith has made me realize so much more life to come and I am only beginning to appreciate and understand how things work and go around me.
And before me, I know there'll be issues and matters way bigger than myself, things that only the sovereignty of God can bring to pass. And the pleasing response to Him is to upkeep a devoted heart to Him regardless and offer ALL of myself to Him, for Him.
It was really easy and I saw that as His means of providing especially when my dad refuses to accept God in a nice way. It was only last year that I resolved to moving in faith.
So last December for my mission trip to Myanmar, a group of loving brothers and sisters chipped in for my trip though I really really never expected it for my birthday! It was the beginning of something new for me, to learn to operate in complete faith and comprehend just how much love that is around me!
Finance is definitely a big issue in serving God but perhaps, He knows it so well that He assures us of His providence as well as not to serve money but God himself only. Money is only a means of glorifying Him.
So this year, having to scrimp and save for church camp and my upcoming Australia trip to Hillsong/Sisterhood has been a journey on the line of Faith. Seeing how God always came through for me only reminded all the more that I will never be able to outgive Him.
After all, I did pray to God to give me no more or less to what I need, that i may never forget Him in the process. Going by Faith has made me realize so much more life to come and I am only beginning to appreciate and understand how things work and go around me.
And before me, I know there'll be issues and matters way bigger than myself, things that only the sovereignty of God can bring to pass. And the pleasing response to Him is to upkeep a devoted heart to Him regardless and offer ALL of myself to Him, for Him.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Joshua the Mentor
Joshua 4 (Crossing over)
Remembering the Lord and what He has done for Israel.
Because the generation that experienced God's miracle firsthand need no second reminder about God's hand and fear Him, but the generationS to come needed that. Hence God's command to Joshua to place the 12 stones together as a reminder to the descendents of Israel. God did not just deliver them once, but twice!
V14: That day the Lord exalted Joshua in the sigh of all Israel; and the revered him all the days of his life, just as they had revered Moses.
God kept His deal with Joshua. God had set Joshua up to be exalted before Israel, but God Himself deserved all the praise and glory for His deliverance. Israel needed that reminder and for its generations that will come after.
Application: How have we been testifying of His goodness and faithfulness? What "12 stones" can we set up in our lives to be reminded of His love and mercy?
Remembering the Lord and what He has done for Israel.
Because the generation that experienced God's miracle firsthand need no second reminder about God's hand and fear Him, but the generationS to come needed that. Hence God's command to Joshua to place the 12 stones together as a reminder to the descendents of Israel. God did not just deliver them once, but twice!
V14: That day the Lord exalted Joshua in the sigh of all Israel; and the revered him all the days of his life, just as they had revered Moses.
God kept His deal with Joshua. God had set Joshua up to be exalted before Israel, but God Himself deserved all the praise and glory for His deliverance. Israel needed that reminder and for its generations that will come after.
Application: How have we been testifying of His goodness and faithfulness? What "12 stones" can we set up in our lives to be reminded of His love and mercy?
Monday, June 18, 2012
Wait upon the Lord
Jesus spent 30 years of His life preparing for 3 years of ministry.
Likewise other bible characters who devoted most or all of their lives to serve God, the challenge came to me "How much preparation have I undergone in serving God?"
Yesterday's meeting was meant to be a walkathon meeting but somehow at the start of the meeting, no one turned up except Pastor himself and I. We ended up with a good hour chatting about ministry and full-time calling. He had been asking me to think about it and he wasn't even subtly hinting!
I did pour out my concerns to him despite the desire, and he was really sensitive and gentle to hear me out and gave his counsel.
In the recent spate of events, I figure there is still a looong process of transformation within me. I experienced what the Bible meant "doing things yet without love"; bearing a teachable and humble heart; and so much more.I've always considered myself "young" when I look at my fellow leaders but I have to acknowledge that continual learning must be in place. I must see beyond being the 'young one' and work on my faith through His grace, in whichever areas I'm lacking in especially.
One of the precious counsel I've received is being mindful of the presence of God, and this applies beyond my current state. I suppose it's one of the hardest disciplines to maintain but when one has consistently practiced it, one can discern His leading quite clearly and walk in the centre of His will.
God I want to do things Your way, even if it means praying and waiting on You. To trust You in this season of waiting, to open the door of opportunity in Your timing according to Your perfect will, simply because You are my Creator and You know best. I offer myself to You for Your shaping of myself because there is just so much in me to be worked on. The best gift I can offer to another child of God is not things of this world but my Love for You, so here I am availed to You. In this season, teach me; lead me and guide me to delight in You and surrender the desires of my heart to You.
Likewise other bible characters who devoted most or all of their lives to serve God, the challenge came to me "How much preparation have I undergone in serving God?"
Yesterday's meeting was meant to be a walkathon meeting but somehow at the start of the meeting, no one turned up except Pastor himself and I. We ended up with a good hour chatting about ministry and full-time calling. He had been asking me to think about it and he wasn't even subtly hinting!
I did pour out my concerns to him despite the desire, and he was really sensitive and gentle to hear me out and gave his counsel.
In the recent spate of events, I figure there is still a looong process of transformation within me. I experienced what the Bible meant "doing things yet without love"; bearing a teachable and humble heart; and so much more.I've always considered myself "young" when I look at my fellow leaders but I have to acknowledge that continual learning must be in place. I must see beyond being the 'young one' and work on my faith through His grace, in whichever areas I'm lacking in especially.
One of the precious counsel I've received is being mindful of the presence of God, and this applies beyond my current state. I suppose it's one of the hardest disciplines to maintain but when one has consistently practiced it, one can discern His leading quite clearly and walk in the centre of His will.
God I want to do things Your way, even if it means praying and waiting on You. To trust You in this season of waiting, to open the door of opportunity in Your timing according to Your perfect will, simply because You are my Creator and You know best. I offer myself to You for Your shaping of myself because there is just so much in me to be worked on. The best gift I can offer to another child of God is not things of this world but my Love for You, so here I am availed to You. In this season, teach me; lead me and guide me to delight in You and surrender the desires of my heart to You.
Saturday, June 16, 2012
God is...
I am finally done reading through this book by Derek Prince. A kind sister passed it to me as I shared my desire to pursue a relationship and I am thankful from day one that I dived into this book.
I started off reading this book with a very different goal and as I closed the last chapter, the book has left me with a very different perspective. Derek Prince and his wife Ruth has had probably one of the most painful relationship experiences and yet in their personal sharing of their struggles, they drew out some of the important aspects of a Godly relationship.
Certain Biblical principles were also highlighted by Derek Prince and it has given me a better understanding of God's heart towards our relationship with one another, be it in union or in celibacy. I guess the bottom line for me is Psalm 37:4 -
Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.
In the last chapter, Ruth Prince shared her journey into marriage with Derek Prince. The unexpected twist in this book was that Ruth didn't choose to marry Derek because they had chemistry or that she loved him, but because she loved the Lord and if it is God's will, she will do so. I thought that was really precious, how someone loved the Lord to the point of 'dying' to oneself and the desires of the heart.
Mistakes
Question is not living a life of no mistakes, but rather to live a life learning from the mistakes of others and self along the way.
Life on earth is only but a a preparation for eternity. It is temporal but the lessons learned are forever.
Father I pray that I will man up to acknowledge and process this.
I can only seek forgiveness for what I should not have done.
You've made me stronger than this, please see me through this season.
Life on earth is only but a a preparation for eternity. It is temporal but the lessons learned are forever.
Father I pray that I will man up to acknowledge and process this.
I can only seek forgiveness for what I should not have done.
You've made me stronger than this, please see me through this season.
Re-Calibrating
God I can't figure You...Yes I know I'm not supposed to but for what I'm going through, it seriously is big time pulling me under...
First this, then that...
Time and time and time again and again and again...
No wonder Job is recorded for his faithfulness towards You despite all that he went through...I'm not sure if I can...I know what I am going through is nothing compared to what he had to face but I'm not sure just how much more I can take...
I even question my own faith at this point...
I ask myself if I am still trying to wear a mask in front of everyone...
If people really knew who I was, is it going to change all their mindsets?
I'm exasperated at this point...
I'm moving away for a season, perhaps even to hide from You?
I know I'm being the joke here since nothing can be hidden from You right?
But it really doesn't matter now, I'm at a loss...
I'm sorry if I'm a disappoint...
I'm sorry if I've proven You wrong...
I have nothing left now...
First this, then that...
Time and time and time again and again and again...
No wonder Job is recorded for his faithfulness towards You despite all that he went through...I'm not sure if I can...I know what I am going through is nothing compared to what he had to face but I'm not sure just how much more I can take...
I even question my own faith at this point...
I ask myself if I am still trying to wear a mask in front of everyone...
If people really knew who I was, is it going to change all their mindsets?
I'm exasperated at this point...
I'm moving away for a season, perhaps even to hide from You?
I know I'm being the joke here since nothing can be hidden from You right?
But it really doesn't matter now, I'm at a loss...
I'm sorry if I'm a disappoint...
I'm sorry if I've proven You wrong...
I have nothing left now...
Remember this marcus...
Those who guard their lips preserve their lives,
but those who speak rashly will come to ruin. - Proverbs 13:3
Humbling experience. Much needed.
Thank you :)
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but those who speak rashly will come to ruin. - Proverbs 13:3
Humbling experience. Much needed.
Thank you :)
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Who am I kidding? All these time I have actually been the biggest sinner and dishonoring Him...
What about others? 10 more? 100 more?
It was passed as a casual remark but it stuck in me the whole time, even now it seemed so clear...
I cannot comprehend the stupidity and immaturity of me...I just had to say all that...
Just when I would think that it's over after the camp, now it's back again...
All that knowing in the head...is nothing but knowledge...
Just when I would think that it's over after the camp, now it's back again...
All that knowing in the head...is nothing but knowledge...
Without the heart, without love it's useless in itself...
And I have been that foolish one...How am I suppose to lead others if I can't even lead myself?
Friday, June 15, 2012
After Thoughts
Now that Church Camp 2012 has come to an end, I think it's only right that I build an altar to the Lord here as Abram did. Building an altar is far more than just a sacrifice unto the Lord, maybe except that this altar would have just so much to inscribe on.
1. Following God into the unknown (Session 1): Pastor Lun has really hit the spot when he talked about the shaking of Abram's faith. I totally identified with Abram in this emotional turmoil and I guess it's always way easier to say "Oh you should have faith to give it a shot!", yeah until I had to tell that to myself =S
I guess I have really been well shaken over the past few days. The experiences and the encounters just fell into place for me to go through an emotional roller-coaster. The natural me would have the worst-case-scenario all thought out in my head and it took a toll on me. But at the end of it all, I can only give thanks to Him (as some people pointed out to me that praise and glory ONLY to God), yes I want to give all the praise to Him. Entering into the unknown can actually be exciting!
2. Avoiding Lapses of Faith (Session 2): Pastor Lun talked about the famine in Abram's time (Spiritual attacks) and contrasted Abram's response to situations in Egypt against his actions back in Negev.
It sure is easy to want to take things into my own hands but surely the Lord has greater plans for me. For me to remain in Negev despite the famine is really about trusting Him wholeheartedly.
3. Making Wise Decisions at a Cross Road (Session 3): To seek His Will is to first understand what He is doing. I thought this message was just so apt in its timing for me, to choose by faith and not by sight.
Also being reminded of the non-negotiable in my life is something I took away from this camp, and I saw myself practicing the courage of declining requests for involvement or help. Not in the sense of rejecting but more of asking for time to pray about it. I thought it's about time I took it seriously.
Importance of Relationship and Testimony. Abram had all the reasons and right to tell Lot off and to make the first choice but he chose not to, he chose to give in to Lot.
4. Perfect Love Casts Out Fear (Session 4): Indeed there is really nothing to worry about if my heart is first fully devoted to Him! Also, there is a need for myself to be surrounded by Godly friends and counsel and mentors.
This season He's teaching me to love Him above all as my verse for the year kicks in, just like every past year, the verse always came to pass and how important that I hold onto the verse in spite of all the trial and the change.
As pastor Lun shared on the one-way covenant that God Himself had sealed, I realized Abram had to prepare and position himself for it. He was the one who prepared the animals as he would prepapre a covenant with another man, but God would be the one who established it. He will keep the covenant; and He will not forget His promise.
Since Abram's time, God has already shown His grace and mercy and love ! Jesus, later to come to fulfill all that is prophecied, is the Father's physical demonstration of His Love and Grace for mankind.
Application for me is the motivation to live for the One who first gave all of Himself. The One who decided that He will keep His Word even though there will be heartaches and disappointments. I also discovered that when I overlook His perfect love, I begin to doubt; to fear in situations. But I'm reminded, to give complete trust in Him, who knows better and the best for me is in store.
Rules without Relationship = Rebellion
My Takeaways:
1. Learning to have faith going into the unknown
2. Not resorting to my ways
3. Choose by Faith, not by Sight
4. First, Love God above all else.
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Sharing for the first time before a congregation isn't exactly what was daunting for me, it was more about preaching His Word without twisting it. It began months back. I thought perhaps I was left out of the arrangement during Good Friday, the email arrived a few weeks later notifying me that I'm scheduled along 3 others to share during Church Camp.
My initial thoughts were quite silly. 10 minutes couldn't be that hard and not much could be shared in that short time right? But I was to be proven wrong. 10 minutes of sharing time is that hard exactly because I have to share straight to the point after filtering what should be preached.
Going through the past weeks of journey has been wearisome at some points but I can only give God the due glory and thanksgiving for seeing me through. Still fresh in the back of my mind, the evaluation session before the camp was quite a setback for me. One part of my mind reminds me that I should not give up and press on while another part is rationalizing if I am cut out for this or should I just give it up.
I figured the message must have been God-empowered and touched lives. Why? Because leading up to the day of sharing it, I went through a constant bombardment of discouragements possibly to a point of giving up. I thought back to the insane training days I had to endure for years. Why am I giving up so easily nowadays in the face of small setbacks and imperfections? Have I become so accustomed to the comfortable lifestyle within the walls of the church that I have no perseverance in the faith?
In the physical trainings I had, giving up was never an option. Particularly the kind of NS training God had planned out for me. I figured that was the season of preparing me for my faith. Unconventional and Unthinkable. If I focused on giving up and that I would not make it, then I wouldn't have pulled through Long Day eventually. Just as the days in secondary school, I remembered being really bad at long distance. Being in the pioneering batch of the team, we were pretty competitive and either you get benched or you get out. I knew deep inside me I had to pay a price.
I started disciplining myself in long distance runs. I remember the days waking up at 5 just to clock the mileage before even heading to school. It was really tiresome and dreadful process when there is the demand from schoolwork and the already crazy scheduled trainings. Paying the price meant more than just clocking the hours, it cost me blisters after blisters; 2 knee surgeries years down the road. But at the finishing line is also the fruits of all the suffering: becoming the eventual fastest runner in the school, being the second fastest man in my NS batch, seems like running became a breeze! Only when we go through the process, we will understand how much it really costs.
Today as I look back, I'm thankful going through that process because the same principle applied to my journey of Faith. I could comprehend running the race, paying the price, knowing the cost. I thank King David for his life sharing. From a shepherd boy to a King who slains by the thousands as God's chosen one, his life has impacted me much. The same for the other Bible characters. But surely the greatest of them all, is Jesus Himself.
This Church Camp has definitely been a very different experience from the ones I have attended. Being tasked to do something for each day of the camp was draining but it was worth it all in the end. The R&R; The icebreaker; The YAY! Games; The Worship leading; The Sermonette. I would never have imagined how each one of these went so well on my own efforts, IT MUST BE GOD. From the R&R I witness His calling of His people to rise up, to the icebreaker and seeing the 40day SF guys rise up and seeing the campers being enthusiastic despite the unreasonable forfeits, to the YAY! Games that I had not expected 50+ people turning up and at the end of it all enjoying themselves knowing one another and doing crazy things like carrying a looong rope playing Chicken-and-Eagle, to the Worship Session that I felt there were so much distractions and songs were just not flowing but how He reminded me to bring the team back to worshipping Him first before leading the congregation and eventually God showing up, to the Sermonette which I felt so badly unprepared and yet God can use it for His glory.
Many tell me good job; great job done. But few reminded me, thank God. Truly be the praise and glory to Him.
And I pray that beyond my desires and concerns and worries, truly all the praise and glory be unto Him who is able to give exceedingly and abundantly, do amazing things for those He love, even to the point of giving His Beloved.
1. Following God into the unknown (Session 1): Pastor Lun has really hit the spot when he talked about the shaking of Abram's faith. I totally identified with Abram in this emotional turmoil and I guess it's always way easier to say "Oh you should have faith to give it a shot!", yeah until I had to tell that to myself =S
I guess I have really been well shaken over the past few days. The experiences and the encounters just fell into place for me to go through an emotional roller-coaster. The natural me would have the worst-case-scenario all thought out in my head and it took a toll on me. But at the end of it all, I can only give thanks to Him (as some people pointed out to me that praise and glory ONLY to God), yes I want to give all the praise to Him. Entering into the unknown can actually be exciting!
2. Avoiding Lapses of Faith (Session 2): Pastor Lun talked about the famine in Abram's time (Spiritual attacks) and contrasted Abram's response to situations in Egypt against his actions back in Negev.
It sure is easy to want to take things into my own hands but surely the Lord has greater plans for me. For me to remain in Negev despite the famine is really about trusting Him wholeheartedly.
3. Making Wise Decisions at a Cross Road (Session 3): To seek His Will is to first understand what He is doing. I thought this message was just so apt in its timing for me, to choose by faith and not by sight.
Also being reminded of the non-negotiable in my life is something I took away from this camp, and I saw myself practicing the courage of declining requests for involvement or help. Not in the sense of rejecting but more of asking for time to pray about it. I thought it's about time I took it seriously.
Importance of Relationship and Testimony. Abram had all the reasons and right to tell Lot off and to make the first choice but he chose not to, he chose to give in to Lot.
4. Perfect Love Casts Out Fear (Session 4): Indeed there is really nothing to worry about if my heart is first fully devoted to Him! Also, there is a need for myself to be surrounded by Godly friends and counsel and mentors.
This season He's teaching me to love Him above all as my verse for the year kicks in, just like every past year, the verse always came to pass and how important that I hold onto the verse in spite of all the trial and the change.
As pastor Lun shared on the one-way covenant that God Himself had sealed, I realized Abram had to prepare and position himself for it. He was the one who prepared the animals as he would prepapre a covenant with another man, but God would be the one who established it. He will keep the covenant; and He will not forget His promise.
Since Abram's time, God has already shown His grace and mercy and love ! Jesus, later to come to fulfill all that is prophecied, is the Father's physical demonstration of His Love and Grace for mankind.
Application for me is the motivation to live for the One who first gave all of Himself. The One who decided that He will keep His Word even though there will be heartaches and disappointments. I also discovered that when I overlook His perfect love, I begin to doubt; to fear in situations. But I'm reminded, to give complete trust in Him, who knows better and the best for me is in store.
Rules without Relationship = Rebellion
My Takeaways:
1. Learning to have faith going into the unknown
2. Not resorting to my ways
3. Choose by Faith, not by Sight
4. First, Love God above all else.
--------------------
Sharing for the first time before a congregation isn't exactly what was daunting for me, it was more about preaching His Word without twisting it. It began months back. I thought perhaps I was left out of the arrangement during Good Friday, the email arrived a few weeks later notifying me that I'm scheduled along 3 others to share during Church Camp.
My initial thoughts were quite silly. 10 minutes couldn't be that hard and not much could be shared in that short time right? But I was to be proven wrong. 10 minutes of sharing time is that hard exactly because I have to share straight to the point after filtering what should be preached.
Going through the past weeks of journey has been wearisome at some points but I can only give God the due glory and thanksgiving for seeing me through. Still fresh in the back of my mind, the evaluation session before the camp was quite a setback for me. One part of my mind reminds me that I should not give up and press on while another part is rationalizing if I am cut out for this or should I just give it up.
I figured the message must have been God-empowered and touched lives. Why? Because leading up to the day of sharing it, I went through a constant bombardment of discouragements possibly to a point of giving up. I thought back to the insane training days I had to endure for years. Why am I giving up so easily nowadays in the face of small setbacks and imperfections? Have I become so accustomed to the comfortable lifestyle within the walls of the church that I have no perseverance in the faith?
In the physical trainings I had, giving up was never an option. Particularly the kind of NS training God had planned out for me. I figured that was the season of preparing me for my faith. Unconventional and Unthinkable. If I focused on giving up and that I would not make it, then I wouldn't have pulled through Long Day eventually. Just as the days in secondary school, I remembered being really bad at long distance. Being in the pioneering batch of the team, we were pretty competitive and either you get benched or you get out. I knew deep inside me I had to pay a price.
I started disciplining myself in long distance runs. I remember the days waking up at 5 just to clock the mileage before even heading to school. It was really tiresome and dreadful process when there is the demand from schoolwork and the already crazy scheduled trainings. Paying the price meant more than just clocking the hours, it cost me blisters after blisters; 2 knee surgeries years down the road. But at the finishing line is also the fruits of all the suffering: becoming the eventual fastest runner in the school, being the second fastest man in my NS batch, seems like running became a breeze! Only when we go through the process, we will understand how much it really costs.
Today as I look back, I'm thankful going through that process because the same principle applied to my journey of Faith. I could comprehend running the race, paying the price, knowing the cost. I thank King David for his life sharing. From a shepherd boy to a King who slains by the thousands as God's chosen one, his life has impacted me much. The same for the other Bible characters. But surely the greatest of them all, is Jesus Himself.
This Church Camp has definitely been a very different experience from the ones I have attended. Being tasked to do something for each day of the camp was draining but it was worth it all in the end. The R&R; The icebreaker; The YAY! Games; The Worship leading; The Sermonette. I would never have imagined how each one of these went so well on my own efforts, IT MUST BE GOD. From the R&R I witness His calling of His people to rise up, to the icebreaker and seeing the 40day SF guys rise up and seeing the campers being enthusiastic despite the unreasonable forfeits, to the YAY! Games that I had not expected 50+ people turning up and at the end of it all enjoying themselves knowing one another and doing crazy things like carrying a looong rope playing Chicken-and-Eagle, to the Worship Session that I felt there were so much distractions and songs were just not flowing but how He reminded me to bring the team back to worshipping Him first before leading the congregation and eventually God showing up, to the Sermonette which I felt so badly unprepared and yet God can use it for His glory.
Many tell me good job; great job done. But few reminded me, thank God. Truly be the praise and glory to Him.
And I pray that beyond my desires and concerns and worries, truly all the praise and glory be unto Him who is able to give exceedingly and abundantly, do amazing things for those He love, even to the point of giving His Beloved.
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Conformed or Transformed
One more day and church camp comes to an end, but not before I have to share a sermonette.
Honestly, I don't see how I can pull this one through.
It's not a presentation that you score high marks for great delivery or wow-ing people away with fancy content. It's deeper than that.
It takes a whole lot more prayer and seeking the Lord for Word and Wisdom,
It takes a ton of effort offstage just to stand before the pulpit for that few minutes,
It takes a surrendered heart to God to release the message that He has for His people.
Sounds really simple but I feel inadequate.
I feel I've not sought Him enough, not enough effort put in, not surrendering this message to Him but grappling for control to share what I think may be correct.
Perhaps saying less is better, perhaps nothing at all.
----
Today Pastor Lun concluded his 4part series of messages. It was something different today but I suppose God has had this planned. Pastor decided to invite his wife onstage to share on their journey of faith over the years how they have moved from one place to another in terms of their spiritual life, and it was one of ups and downs.
But if I caught the gist of his message right, both their heartbeat and calling are to reach out (radically) to the young people today and though the fact that they were in mega church and even previously being the senior pastor, they rose to answer God's call.
I was blown away from their sharing, how one life could reap the harvest of many more others and a philosophy in life to never trust in the ways of Man but in the ways of God. Their sharing just resounded within me and if I were a new convert, I'd follow them in their ministry. But where He has placed me, there is His purpose and I suppose in time to come, I'll find out.
Honestly, I don't see how I can pull this one through.
It's not a presentation that you score high marks for great delivery or wow-ing people away with fancy content. It's deeper than that.
It takes a whole lot more prayer and seeking the Lord for Word and Wisdom,
It takes a ton of effort offstage just to stand before the pulpit for that few minutes,
It takes a surrendered heart to God to release the message that He has for His people.
Sounds really simple but I feel inadequate.
I feel I've not sought Him enough, not enough effort put in, not surrendering this message to Him but grappling for control to share what I think may be correct.
Perhaps saying less is better, perhaps nothing at all.
----
Today Pastor Lun concluded his 4part series of messages. It was something different today but I suppose God has had this planned. Pastor decided to invite his wife onstage to share on their journey of faith over the years how they have moved from one place to another in terms of their spiritual life, and it was one of ups and downs.
But if I caught the gist of his message right, both their heartbeat and calling are to reach out (radically) to the young people today and though the fact that they were in mega church and even previously being the senior pastor, they rose to answer God's call.
I was blown away from their sharing, how one life could reap the harvest of many more others and a philosophy in life to never trust in the ways of Man but in the ways of God. Their sharing just resounded within me and if I were a new convert, I'd follow them in their ministry. But where He has placed me, there is His purpose and I suppose in time to come, I'll find out.
Tossed around the the waves in the ocean
Last few days haven't exactly been the best of days even though it's the R&R and Church Camp.
I would never in my wildest imagination expect that the matter of the mind is such a powerful influencing factor.
God I thought I had really surrendered it to You and to trust only in Your word for me. I guess I've failed to, and it feels wrenching inside me. I grapple time and time again and at times, I feel like I've just lost my faith.
You sure come answering prayer at a timing, I thank You for the sign of assurance. But I just get thrown off the next moment, I suppose that's how I know it ain't Your timing.
But can I just share how sucky it feels, sometimes to the point I just want to walk away because I don't understand, I don't see what I have done wrong.
On the other hand as I warned others of spiritual warfare, I'm actually so blind to that fact myself. My failure to see that there'll be downs coming...
Just need to rant this off. God I'm really tired already...I want to act by faith, not by sigh.
I would never in my wildest imagination expect that the matter of the mind is such a powerful influencing factor.
God I thought I had really surrendered it to You and to trust only in Your word for me. I guess I've failed to, and it feels wrenching inside me. I grapple time and time again and at times, I feel like I've just lost my faith.
You sure come answering prayer at a timing, I thank You for the sign of assurance. But I just get thrown off the next moment, I suppose that's how I know it ain't Your timing.
But can I just share how sucky it feels, sometimes to the point I just want to walk away because I don't understand, I don't see what I have done wrong.
On the other hand as I warned others of spiritual warfare, I'm actually so blind to that fact myself. My failure to see that there'll be downs coming...
Just need to rant this off. God I'm really tired already...I want to act by faith, not by sigh.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Indescribable
It just kept me in awe as I sat by the beach taking in the view of the sea and sky, everything around me was so calm and still. Except for a guy walking on the beach.
I never knew too that God will use pigeons to speak to me as He prompted me to just observe them in what they were doing. Though it was just 30 minutes between Him and me, I wished it was longer. I wished it could last forever, you know that feeling when you are in the presence of someone you love.
And today the Leaders summed up much of what was to be discussed for R&R. Much confidential stuff and as well as much juicy BGR stories and advice from you know who! Haha...it was really a fun and entertaining and joyful and interesting and awkward yet enriching time towards the end, how you know who challenged us especially in looking ahead. Oh and I think the in-between break's walk on the beach was something I didn't regret going! =)
Got to spend a little time with you know who alone today and I thank God really for this unexpected opportunity. Though it was a short and relaxed chat, I gained so much insight and advice through the lighthearted sharing and I suppose that really shaped my thinking...To carry the presence of God, ALWAYS.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Selah
 |
| Thank you little one for your faithfulness all these years. You are my one and only and till we meet again... |
I felt the nudge inside me to reconsider. Being intentionally absent for a season.
This little thing has been on the ups and downs with me literally. Since I first laid my hands on him in 2006, he has been to the places I've visited including Mount Kinabalu which I'm proud of him to have made it to the peak with me.
Now this 10D is ancient. First unveiled in 2002. It is safe to say this trusty guy has been around for a decade now assuming my seller first bought it in 2002. No doubt the predecessors today can proudly say they are way more superior than him, they have better pixels, they have faster response time etc, this dude is still my trusted friend and I will not trade him even for a 5DMKIII.
He was considered my first big ticket item (800 at that time was big for me but a good deal). I remember buying him with my own savings and I knew that was a milestone and I was going to enjoy myself in time to come. It started off pretty badly instead. Photos were dark as the night, blurred as though time just zoomed by. But I knew very well it had nothing to do with the camera.
The principle is simple: I have not mastered the use of it and fully unleash its potential.
Think likewise in my life, perhaps frustrations arise at some point because I have failed to understand and accept the plans of the Master of my life. Perhaps I thought bringing a 300mm to a birthday party is going to be fun, but not bearing in mind that unless that party is in the Indoor Stadium, the lens is going to do injustice.
And 10 years later with thousands of frames shot, I believe a time of retirement has come. Now I don't mean leaving the camera in the box forever, I just feel the time is apt for me to hang up the straps and moving away for a while.
Perhaps it's for the better, that the next generation rises up to answer His Call.
I suppose succession is something we must constantly revisit because time waits for no one.
But having said this, one must remain available to any unforeseen circumstance and not finding an excuse to wash hands off everything. I suppose the season begins with Church Camp.
Time to stop Martha-ing and Mary-ing. Seriously giving all that attention to the One who speaks.
God please let this camp see breakthroughs, miracles and life transformations.
Please let Your people take away more than just the fun and fellowship.
Knowing before Finding (1)
An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
She looks for wool and flax
And works with her hands in delight.
She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar.
She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And portions to her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it;
From her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength
And makes her arms strong.
She senses that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hands grasp the spindle.
She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
She makes coverings for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies belts to the tradesmen.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates.
- Proverbs 31
And since years back when my mentor studied (simple one) this passage with me, it stuck. It has never left my thought when I think of the possibility of entering a relationship in time to come. It has also become clearer and specifically to what I am reminded to look for in a partner.
Noteworthy points to self:
For her worth is far above jewels: The Bible just cannot over-emphasize this advice. When one finds that Godly and Faithful partner, it really is a BLESSING so much so the Bible describes it far above jewels. For me to find that God-matched is being able to give up everything for her sake.
The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain: Self-explanatory. Love always trusts (1 Cor 13). If I consider the previous verse, I suppose one way of looking at no lack of gain is the worth of a Godly wife.
She does him good and not evil all the days of her life: The mutual love and benefiting goes beyond the honeymoon years. The Bible declares it to be all the days to come, reminder for me that love comes down to commitment of a life of loving and devotion to someone as Christ loves me.
She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight: Look then for a wife who works with wool? The Bible used wool and flax in this verse to highlight a worthy woman who firstly does not idle, and when she is at work, she does it with delight. The Dictionary defines Delight as a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment; joy.
She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar: Leading up from the previous verse, a worthy woman brings provision and oversees the internal system of the family. This point may be quite subtle in the Bible but various help-books have put across this point in view of the wife releasing her husband from internal family concerns to serve in his calling.
I certainly wish there is resource out there that sheds light on this amazing scriptural passage. But meantime, I thought it be nice for me to consider carefully His Word. I'm going to leave this as part 1 with the first 5 verses (V10 - V14) and come back to this passage with a part 2. I will post this as a reminder to myself. But I pray that anyone who reads this, may be blessed.
The Word of the Lord gives Life.
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
She looks for wool and flax
And works with her hands in delight.
She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar.
She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And portions to her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it;
From her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength
And makes her arms strong.
She senses that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hands grasp the spindle.
She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
She makes coverings for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies belts to the tradesmen.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates.
- Proverbs 31
And since years back when my mentor studied (simple one) this passage with me, it stuck. It has never left my thought when I think of the possibility of entering a relationship in time to come. It has also become clearer and specifically to what I am reminded to look for in a partner.
Noteworthy points to self:
For her worth is far above jewels: The Bible just cannot over-emphasize this advice. When one finds that Godly and Faithful partner, it really is a BLESSING so much so the Bible describes it far above jewels. For me to find that God-matched is being able to give up everything for her sake.
The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain: Self-explanatory. Love always trusts (1 Cor 13). If I consider the previous verse, I suppose one way of looking at no lack of gain is the worth of a Godly wife.
She does him good and not evil all the days of her life: The mutual love and benefiting goes beyond the honeymoon years. The Bible declares it to be all the days to come, reminder for me that love comes down to commitment of a life of loving and devotion to someone as Christ loves me.
She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight: Look then for a wife who works with wool? The Bible used wool and flax in this verse to highlight a worthy woman who firstly does not idle, and when she is at work, she does it with delight. The Dictionary defines Delight as a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment; joy.
She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar: Leading up from the previous verse, a worthy woman brings provision and oversees the internal system of the family. This point may be quite subtle in the Bible but various help-books have put across this point in view of the wife releasing her husband from internal family concerns to serve in his calling.
I certainly wish there is resource out there that sheds light on this amazing scriptural passage. But meantime, I thought it be nice for me to consider carefully His Word. I'm going to leave this as part 1 with the first 5 verses (V10 - V14) and come back to this passage with a part 2. I will post this as a reminder to myself. But I pray that anyone who reads this, may be blessed.
The Word of the Lord gives Life.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Oh Dear Hannah
“Hannah, why do you weep and why do you not eat and why is your heart sad? Am I not better to you than ten sons?” - 1 Samuel 1.
1. I wouldn't justify myself getting a second wife because the first could not bear children as the Lord had closed her womb. Then again, it was all part of God's sovereign plan. Her imperfection does not justify my right to give less than 100% of myself.
2. Elkanah obviously still loved Hannah despite her imperfection as the Lord had closed her womb. He gave her double portion. Loving her in her imperfection.
3. Hannah's refusal to stop weeping and not partake food and expressing a downcast self has only frustrated Elkanah. It begets the question if Elkanah even took notice of the real source of Hannah's sorrow and attempt to be there for her. Hannah eventually did obey Elkanah and ate, but she sought the Lord thereafter in her distress. Sometimes, the issue can only be resolved by God Himself. I have to avail myself and understand her in her plight/situation.
Samuel defined - Because I have asked him of the Lord.
1 Sam 1:28 - Parents are only stewards of God's people/children. Hannah kept her part of the bargain and after weaning Samuel, she left him in the house of the Lord to serve.
1. I wouldn't justify myself getting a second wife because the first could not bear children as the Lord had closed her womb. Then again, it was all part of God's sovereign plan. Her imperfection does not justify my right to give less than 100% of myself.
2. Elkanah obviously still loved Hannah despite her imperfection as the Lord had closed her womb. He gave her double portion. Loving her in her imperfection.
3. Hannah's refusal to stop weeping and not partake food and expressing a downcast self has only frustrated Elkanah. It begets the question if Elkanah even took notice of the real source of Hannah's sorrow and attempt to be there for her. Hannah eventually did obey Elkanah and ate, but she sought the Lord thereafter in her distress. Sometimes, the issue can only be resolved by God Himself. I have to avail myself and understand her in her plight/situation.
Samuel defined - Because I have asked him of the Lord.
1 Sam 1:28 - Parents are only stewards of God's people/children. Hannah kept her part of the bargain and after weaning Samuel, she left him in the house of the Lord to serve.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Word of God Speak
Thank You Lord, that when I needed the words, You spoke.
That when I had imposed my expectations on others;
That when I failed to see my source of leak in me and my source of hope in You;
You restore me, and You fill me again.
For all the things I see and hear and know, I can and I will trust in You.
God of Redeemer and Restorer, You have full control.
That when I had imposed my expectations on others;
That when I failed to see my source of leak in me and my source of hope in You;
You restore me, and You fill me again.
For all the things I see and hear and know, I can and I will trust in You.
God of Redeemer and Restorer, You have full control.
Health Check
Need for a small group health check.
Need for a personal (spiritual) health check.
Honestly, it is a bad taste when there are no fruit.
Mr SAtan comes so often trying to convince me to move out of it.
=(
Need to re-think this.
Need for a personal (spiritual) health check.
Honestly, it is a bad taste when there are no fruit.
Mr SAtan comes so often trying to convince me to move out of it.
=(
Need to re-think this.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Early next morning...
Jesus spent a good deal of His time by Himself and seeking the Father.
'Timeout'.
Perhaps this coming 3 weeks 'by myself' is God's timely answer.
So much to hear from Him about, to ask of Him yet only one thing is really needed.
Jesus, be that one thing I need. That will never be replaced.
'Timeout'.
Perhaps this coming 3 weeks 'by myself' is God's timely answer.
So much to hear from Him about, to ask of Him yet only one thing is really needed.
Jesus, be that one thing I need. That will never be replaced.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Loving God
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress
them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when
you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates. - Deu 6:4-7
Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that's in you, love him with all you've got - Deu 6:5 (MSG)
The Scripture talks about passing down the commandment to the next generation, to love God. It even specifically says to teach it at home, along the road, lying down or getting up. It seems to imply this teaching should not be confined to Sunday School or Family Altar, but this teaching is to be conveyed all the time.
God, please tear down this wall in my life. I suppose there are a lot more that needs to be torn down too. At some point, I really can't find the strength to fight and press on.
Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that's in you, love him with all you've got - Deu 6:5 (MSG)
The Scripture talks about passing down the commandment to the next generation, to love God. It even specifically says to teach it at home, along the road, lying down or getting up. It seems to imply this teaching should not be confined to Sunday School or Family Altar, but this teaching is to be conveyed all the time.
God, please tear down this wall in my life. I suppose there are a lot more that needs to be torn down too. At some point, I really can't find the strength to fight and press on.
In Spirit and In Truth
Compelled to mention this tonight before I forget...
I finally stood on the stage front leading again after months of break.
Initially I was really looking forward to today and I was already thinking of the song set 2 weeks before.
Somehow practices were fine and the time sharing together was great! But when it came down to the actual worship today, I concluded a spectrum of experiences through the responses and feedback.
On one end were the positive responses. Generally the feedback was simply good worship.
I'm always curious. How do we define 'good worship' ?
On the other end, well actually with a fellow leader in the team, I shared honestly that outwardly the worship may have been great/good but inwardly, I felt a void; a hollowness. I couldn't make any sense of it but I had no one to share this to =(
I left it as it is after service and evaluation until that someone came up to me (at random) and spoke about this. I had no clue how we came to the same conclusion but I'm glad and grateful that I took this feedback very positively and both of us had a good time of sharing and evaluating this.
I thought much about this and looked back. If this were to happen to me say a year back? I would have taken such feedback pretty badly. I guess it's part of the growing process but I'm definitely glad I've moved away from that problem.
But I suppose in a "worship", it is possible that not all in the presence would have maintained the posture of authentic worship. I think about the woman with her alabaster jar - Mat 14.
Giving our all isn't an absolute value comparison with what we can offer up to Him but a relative offering with a frame of reference to God's desire, our everything. The posture means so much more than the possessions. In the presence of the Lord, only one came to worship with an authentic heart. Those who were present simply criticized the woman but the Bible mentioned nothing of their worship and offering. I guess I take comfort that in any worship, it is really God's sovereign will to move in whom He pleases and it really boils down to the heart, the spirit, the truth.
The encouragement to press on is really not fixating myself on what happens around. What is seen is only an estimation or expression of meeting God. Truly, it boils down to an individual's desire/thirst to want to commune with Him. Because seeing some truly in communion with Him while others probably stood by just observing or singing on the lips, it just shows how accurate Jesus was in His predictions. In Spirit and In Truth.
Despite carrying that feeling of a hollow experience, I'll not let this bring me down but to come before God and lay this at His feet. Trust that He is all-knowing, and He sees beyond what we see.
Come Lord Jesus Come.
I finally stood on the stage front leading again after months of break.
Initially I was really looking forward to today and I was already thinking of the song set 2 weeks before.
Somehow practices were fine and the time sharing together was great! But when it came down to the actual worship today, I concluded a spectrum of experiences through the responses and feedback.
On one end were the positive responses. Generally the feedback was simply good worship.
I'm always curious. How do we define 'good worship' ?
On the other end, well actually with a fellow leader in the team, I shared honestly that outwardly the worship may have been great/good but inwardly, I felt a void; a hollowness. I couldn't make any sense of it but I had no one to share this to =(
I left it as it is after service and evaluation until that someone came up to me (at random) and spoke about this. I had no clue how we came to the same conclusion but I'm glad and grateful that I took this feedback very positively and both of us had a good time of sharing and evaluating this.
I thought much about this and looked back. If this were to happen to me say a year back? I would have taken such feedback pretty badly. I guess it's part of the growing process but I'm definitely glad I've moved away from that problem.
But I suppose in a "worship", it is possible that not all in the presence would have maintained the posture of authentic worship. I think about the woman with her alabaster jar - Mat 14.
Giving our all isn't an absolute value comparison with what we can offer up to Him but a relative offering with a frame of reference to God's desire, our everything. The posture means so much more than the possessions. In the presence of the Lord, only one came to worship with an authentic heart. Those who were present simply criticized the woman but the Bible mentioned nothing of their worship and offering. I guess I take comfort that in any worship, it is really God's sovereign will to move in whom He pleases and it really boils down to the heart, the spirit, the truth.
The encouragement to press on is really not fixating myself on what happens around. What is seen is only an estimation or expression of meeting God. Truly, it boils down to an individual's desire/thirst to want to commune with Him. Because seeing some truly in communion with Him while others probably stood by just observing or singing on the lips, it just shows how accurate Jesus was in His predictions. In Spirit and In Truth.
Despite carrying that feeling of a hollow experience, I'll not let this bring me down but to come before God and lay this at His feet. Trust that He is all-knowing, and He sees beyond what we see.
Come Lord Jesus Come.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Going into the unknowns
Apparently all of us ask this question probably once a day, "what's next?"
I suppose I'm not alone in this, to be asking Him what's next regardless of the area of my life.
But 1 thing is for sure, God is unpredictable if we try to out-guess His moves.
Definitely another discovery for me as I journey in my faith.
I pray that I'll remain open to His leading and despite the very desire within me, that I learn to trust and obey. Sometimes it could just be a test of trust (refer to Abraham/Issac) and other times, it could be really His plan, His Will (refer to Sarah/Hagar).
For me is not to formulate some equation or magical solution to find out His plan for me, but simply to live in the present with Him. To be at peace in the knowledge that God loves me enough to know my desires and grant me satisfaction first in Him alone.
Sometimes I think I'll need a whole universe of faith to believe God for some matters I really wanted my way, but I guess Jesus had His reason why He taught us to have a faith as little as a mustard seed to just believe God can move a mountain!
So Lord, I commit into Your loving Hands my future, my plans and my desires.
Thank You and Love You.
Amen.
I suppose I'm not alone in this, to be asking Him what's next regardless of the area of my life.
But 1 thing is for sure, God is unpredictable if we try to out-guess His moves.
Definitely another discovery for me as I journey in my faith.
I pray that I'll remain open to His leading and despite the very desire within me, that I learn to trust and obey. Sometimes it could just be a test of trust (refer to Abraham/Issac) and other times, it could be really His plan, His Will (refer to Sarah/Hagar).
For me is not to formulate some equation or magical solution to find out His plan for me, but simply to live in the present with Him. To be at peace in the knowledge that God loves me enough to know my desires and grant me satisfaction first in Him alone.
Sometimes I think I'll need a whole universe of faith to believe God for some matters I really wanted my way, but I guess Jesus had His reason why He taught us to have a faith as little as a mustard seed to just believe God can move a mountain!
So Lord, I commit into Your loving Hands my future, my plans and my desires.
Thank You and Love You.
Amen.
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