When something good happens to a good friend

I know this day would eventually come, I just didn't expect to go by so quickly. Your 10 year old mind definitely did not envisioned this day and your blessing to wed to such a great man of God.

 My biggest congrats and blessing to you Evelyn & ZX! Wishing both of you many happy blessed days ahead!

#whattodo

If you know that the step ahead is heading into a dire situation and there's no turning back, what would you do?

Get over, Get up, Get going.

It has been far too long.
I'm glad things are finally kicking into motion.
It is time to get this over and done with.
I'm ready.

I hope God speaks to you in this

I have heard of material blackmail and emotional blackmail....but spiritual blackmail? Wow this is taking things to a whole new level.

So exactly how long is this nonsense going to last? I'm quite glad it will all come to an end pretty soon. This is not what I signed up for and I suppose "God is sovereign" enough to take the responsibility of what is to unfold.

I will choose the peaceful resolve. I don't see a point in bringing this up anyway.

Time is ticking away and I count my days. It will all come to an end very soon. Very soon.

I NEVER KNEW YOU

Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’ Matthew 7:23

Go on

This year seems to be even more uncertain, more than ever before.

I'm not so surprised at how things are right now, however I'm not satisfied just yet.

Maybe things will turn for the better.

Or maybe not.

In any case, I reshuffled my priorities.

New Beginnings

I was expecting 2014 to be a good start to change. Looks like I have to be realistic. The past year's crappiness seemed to have behind me which is something I'm thankful for. Like the common saying, move on.

2013 has definitely taught me to treasure family in the most painful way I have feared. Her sudden passing which I played through my mind even during her days of living. And so in 2014, it is my priority to not repeat that mistake and guard it so fiercely. 

As the days go by, it becomes clearer and paramount to be certain of what I want, to be sure of where I want to head towards. At least till it is a given.

I have been taught over the past years to face each new day with thanksgiving. I still wonder how long since that has stopped and my every morning is greeted with lamentations.

What is good and what I have stood for just seems to have diluted along the way. I sense the days of my holding on coming to an end fairly soon. Least I know when that is going to be roughly. The recent days may have been a little easier to cope with. The almost-weekly routine of doing this and meeting that and serving has kept me from the much hoped-not-for fellowships. Perhaps it is for the better, though not the best.

I would least expect this outcome to arrive. Not in my wildest imaginations.

Year of change. Season of rest.

So my new journey begins. Frankly it feels so surreal and awkwardly strange to be freed of numerous commitments.

The time to time weekday night meetings. The trainings. The planning. The Sat morning practices. The Sat night evaluations. The Sun morning practices. The Sun afternoon meetings. The Sun afternoon practices.

Seriously time has been freed up yet the question begets how I ought to be utilising the hours? Is it going to be another series of trying to do more and accomplish more? Or an opportune period to catch up on lost time with loved ones? Or perhaps to do what I loved doing that I have not had the chance to do so for the longest time?

Do I miss what I have let go of? I would guess so. Took me a while, yet I began to grasp and appreciate the need to do so, and the beauty of it all.

As I stepped aside from leading a cell of vastly different yet highly dynamic youth, I appreciated how these precious ones rose above the occasion many a times and maturing in many ways. I must certainly agree that one's followers or disciples can really grow only to the level that of their leader. SO TRUE. I realised just how limited I have been to impart and give to my members. Excited at the coming season, because I know God can grow them so much more, with or without me.

And coming to my pet ministry, Worship. This was probably one of my toughest struggles. Worship has always been the anchor of my faith since stepping past the door of the church. Music was what led me to knowing who the God of music is.

Worship is more than music, to me. Worship anchored me especially through the darkest times, the toughest days. Nothing spurs me on more than a power-packed playlist of praise and worship tunes.

With 2014, I really really look forward to a year of change. 2013 has in a way been too cruel to me and I know I am not yet done processing through it all. I am glad that I am no longer stuck, and I am no longer holding on. So yes, it is time to move on. Time to walk away. Just a matter of when.

This past 8 months of serving as a servant leader has been most humbling. Appreciating the love and givings of those before me, serving in arms together on different platforms. Without this portfolio, I would never had given these people all the due respect they deserve, for their true living of Following Christ and Sacrificial Giving. This generation that I am in, or just me, is too many steps behind in comparison.

This window of service revealed to me that I am probably the youngest one amongst the different arms of service. On one hand it opens my eyes to appreciate more yet on the other, it scares me because I wonder how things will turn out just 10 years down the road.

It really does not help that this society is heading for the silver age. It undeniably has a direct influence on how things are going to be around the congregation. To top it off, the current band of leadership are easily twice my age.

I am not an advocate for change for the sake of change. Yet if the upper calling is for us to make a united effort for change to do things better, I am for it. At this point, it just burdens me so much that these are nowhere in sight for the near future. Maybe we will think about it when it comes? Maybe...

There have been far too many learnings and benefits all these years. However, one particularly stood out as I reflected on my drive home today. I reflected on defining a true friend. I reflected on the traits and values of a true friend. There weren't too many that I could collect in my memory, yet I am thankful for every one whom I could count.

Note To Self: Be a true friend in speech and in deed.