Who's the anchor of my life?

=Is it the ambitions? the goals? the dreams?



Or is it the One who created all and made all for goodness?



What are you anchoring onto in your life right now?



For myself, starting off as a Christian 2 years ago honestly was no intentional purpose of getting to know God. Somehow, I'm going to spill it all out on here so for those of you who do read, it's the only time you get to see/hear all my thoughts/feelings.

I first started attending service and going to church in Aug 04 and was attending FCBC (marine parade). The place of worship was huge and I was a regular in the service. Then one day, after the service, one of the cell leaders asked me if I liked to accept salvation and say the Lord's prayer.

Somehow at the point, I don't know what's happening but just agreed to everything. So there, I gave my life to Christ. That was in 2004. I took interest in their Children's ministry and tried to help out, which eventually turned out to be a flop.

Nothing more happened for the next 4 months of 2004. I didn't go to service as regularly anymore. Children's ministry was out of my mind already by then and I was just back to my old life. Nothing bad about the old life but you know, there's always something different.

Then came 2005 Jan, I remember so clearly 7th Jan when my elder brother invited me for friday cellgroup in Serangoon. The week that Nic just enlisted into army. The day before my brother had to return to US again to study his degree. I still remembered I agreed to go because firstly, I was bored at home. Secondly, I always hoped to see how a cell is like but never got the chance to.

So off we headed for cell at 2000h. When we arrived the the huge front door, I began to feel that something different is going to happen in my life. The door was opened and everyone who was in cell that day, greeted me with much enthusiasm and joy. They just made me feel like a King returning to his land. I would probably say, this warmth and enthusiasm of the cell was one of the reasons why I kept coming back for more.

That night, my life was turned around. Many new friends and seniors/juniors I got to know and eventually on 16th Jan, I agreed to attend service at the cell's church. That is where I am currently going from then on, World Revival Prayer Fellowship.

At SGcell, the first two friends I made were Constance and Ethel. Two really unique persons in my Christian life. Both are really joyful persons and tried their best to make me feel home in cellgroup. Another reason why I returned to cell on my own was the need for a cell guitarist, at that time, Nic had to go for National Service. So prompted by my brother to try and my own wishful thinking that I could improve my guitar skills, I agreed.

Over the next few weeks in cell when I played for worship, I never knew what is worship or how to worship or why we worship. I was just there to serve as a guitarist. I just enjoyed the time of playing the guitar. Just that it was Christian songs to me at that time.

Then as time passed on, I began to know more people in cell and also in church. More friends/people start pouring into my life and today, after 2 years and 4months, I am proud to say I've known another 300 friends in Christ. Along the way through my time in WRPF, God sent different people into my life at different moments and many beautiful moments I had during these 2years. But not everyday is a rosy time. Of course there were times of saddness and bitterness. But by the grace of the Lord, I can say I pulled through.

Within these 2 years, many many and I really mean many, events and stuff happened. Some seriously affecting my life and mean a lot to me. But to focus back on the time I came to cell and knowing Christ.

It was not a purpose to come to know Christ as I said earlier, I had many reasons why I came back for more. I never saw what was wrong with it in the past.

The love for music. The desire for friendship and family warmth. The hope of having the girl of my dreams.

That was the past intention I had. The girl, God placed in my life, that has so much impact and meaning to me that it diminishes the images and presence of other options I have in life. She is like the perfect and ideal partner I can ever imagine. Character that I can never see in another. This intention was the cause of my coming back, my passion and yet, my bitterness for a very long, long time.

It took me quite a while to comprehend this new feeling in me. It took me even longer to accept the fact that life is not going to be the way I want it to be. But thanks be to God. My first love for a human being is gradually changing to first love for God. The One who deserves all our first love, because He first loves us.

Now that I'm able to focus to God and not use Him as a means in my life, I pray for forgiveness on my foolishness and sillyness. God is the true anchor of my life and under no matter what circumstances, whatever that might happen to me, God is still the true and living God. Everything may change over time, but He will never change. I know He loves me, Daddy God.

So the best, cast all my worries/thoughts/cares onto Him and just trust in Him, His character that He will bring me through all issues and matters in my life. He was the best for my interest.

THANK YOU LORD!

To you: thanks for being in my life. You make a difference to me.

Wonderful time with God

Today Aunt Shanti shared during Youth Service: Authentic Communication...Was just so filled with depth...went up for prayer by Uncle PJ Andrew. It was my first time that God had spoken so much to me. I was so dry through out the week and cannot feel that God is there with me. I got my reassurance today. God was speaking to me, how awesome was that. Tears just flowed from within me, it's been really long time since I teared. Things I got from the praying:

- God knows my silent pleadings and cries
- God will grant the desire in my heart that I've been longing for
- God will fill me with His spirit and the Devil cannot have His stronghold in me
- Guard my heart against provoking thoughts
- Do not worry about my career in future
- God will reveal something to me in 3 day's time
- Do not go ahead of Him in terms of relationship...BGR terms

God loves me, this I know. I thank You Lord. Amen.

Worship Him and adore

Today led worship in youth service. Really thank God for visiting our service. Though I didn't really feel I did my best but I trust God and thank Him that He took care of everything.

"There is power here for miracles...."

Just as we sang it today...Our youths are really restless bunch and especially before the youth service starts, everyone are just not in the mood to praise and worship. I just decided to pray together as a congregation as Nic has done before when he led worship.

I just want to give God all glory for the time of worship and thanksgiving to Him because all these are possible because of Him! Amen!

Mixed feelings...

Right now just feeling so confused...

"should I stay or should I go"

That's what's bothering me.

Nights.

Life goes on

Life's pretty stagnant now...don't think that's very good..

going to start work tomorrow...weeee...

Tapestry '07...here we go again