Sunday, January 5, 2014

Year of change. Season of rest.

So my new journey begins. Frankly it feels so surreal and awkwardly strange to be freed of numerous commitments.

The time to time weekday night meetings. The trainings. The planning. The Sat morning practices. The Sat night evaluations. The Sun morning practices. The Sun afternoon meetings. The Sun afternoon practices.

Seriously time has been freed up yet the question begets how I ought to be utilising the hours? Is it going to be another series of trying to do more and accomplish more? Or an opportune period to catch up on lost time with loved ones? Or perhaps to do what I loved doing that I have not had the chance to do so for the longest time?

Do I miss what I have let go of? I would guess so. Took me a while, yet I began to grasp and appreciate the need to do so, and the beauty of it all.

As I stepped aside from leading a cell of vastly different yet highly dynamic youth, I appreciated how these precious ones rose above the occasion many a times and maturing in many ways. I must certainly agree that one's followers or disciples can really grow only to the level that of their leader. SO TRUE. I realised just how limited I have been to impart and give to my members. Excited at the coming season, because I know God can grow them so much more, with or without me.

And coming to my pet ministry, Worship. This was probably one of my toughest struggles. Worship has always been the anchor of my faith since stepping past the door of the church. Music was what led me to knowing who the God of music is.

Worship is more than music, to me. Worship anchored me especially through the darkest times, the toughest days. Nothing spurs me on more than a power-packed playlist of praise and worship tunes.

With 2014, I really really look forward to a year of change. 2013 has in a way been too cruel to me and I know I am not yet done processing through it all. I am glad that I am no longer stuck, and I am no longer holding on. So yes, it is time to move on. Time to walk away. Just a matter of when.

This past 8 months of serving as a servant leader has been most humbling. Appreciating the love and givings of those before me, serving in arms together on different platforms. Without this portfolio, I would never had given these people all the due respect they deserve, for their true living of Following Christ and Sacrificial Giving. This generation that I am in, or just me, is too many steps behind in comparison.

This window of service revealed to me that I am probably the youngest one amongst the different arms of service. On one hand it opens my eyes to appreciate more yet on the other, it scares me because I wonder how things will turn out just 10 years down the road.

It really does not help that this society is heading for the silver age. It undeniably has a direct influence on how things are going to be around the congregation. To top it off, the current band of leadership are easily twice my age.

I am not an advocate for change for the sake of change. Yet if the upper calling is for us to make a united effort for change to do things better, I am for it. At this point, it just burdens me so much that these are nowhere in sight for the near future. Maybe we will think about it when it comes? Maybe...

There have been far too many learnings and benefits all these years. However, one particularly stood out as I reflected on my drive home today. I reflected on defining a true friend. I reflected on the traits and values of a true friend. There weren't too many that I could collect in my memory, yet I am thankful for every one whom I could count.

Note To Self: Be a true friend in speech and in deed.