A whole new revolution

Been an exciting 2007 for me as this year comes to an end soon.
Mount Kinabalu;
Poly Graduation;
National Service in NDU;
of course and other small issues in my life

Yet all in all, I can look back and only thank God. I am changed for the better and am safely growing in His love. Things can always happen and circumstances changes, yet I know for sure, the love of Christ is always here in me. Thank You God. Despite certain discouraging matters in my life, I look and focus on God to comfort me and encourage me, keep going and hold on.

The greatest love for everyone of us when we feel so despaired or down: God sent His Son, His one and only Son to die for me and you!

Reflecting back on 2007, I thank God for every event and friend I came across. I thank God for the many wonderful encounters I have with Him. I thank God because He is my God.

Will update soon on 2008 coming..Hang in there!

Count down to Team Building Week

So called as "Hellweek"...It's like 3 more weeks to it. Not very excited about it but yet, I will go with confidence that my God will be watching over me through the period of training. I know my God has His plans to bring me through hellweek.

Looking back so far...so many things to thank God for...

-New phone
-New laptop (coming soon)
-Friday Bookouts
-Safety through trainings

I never take my friday bookouts for granted, I see them as God's wonders in my life since not everyone gets to bookout on fridays..Got my new phone recently...N81-8Gb...Thank God my brother bought it for me la...483 bucks!!!

Anyway he's getting me the new laptop too...how nice right! Why I thank God for safety? My company friend almost drowned on Friday. I mean drowned but almost left us. Instructors had to pull him up 6m from below the water surface and do CPR on him...Through that short few minutes, so many things ran through my mind...I'm pretty sure for the rest of the guys who overheard the whole event. "WAKE UP! WAKE UP! DON'T YOU LEAVE US!"

It was just a couple of minutes, yet it hit me so much...life is really short and fragile...what counts in your life today??

Your results?
Your achievements in your workplace?
Your salary every month?
The one you cherish in your heart?

What matters to you most today if you're going to leave tomorrow?

2.4km timing been improving much so far...thank God because I know I cannot do it without His strength...8.21 to 8.32 to 8.12

I begin to see the big picture why I'm in NDU...

Lord, my life is in Your hands...take it and use me for Your perfect plan. Amen.

1st week of PCP

Hey i'm back...early bookout :) really thank God so far for all He has done! Anyway thanks for keeping me in prayers...this week has turned out surprisingly good but of course, I have a good God that's why! Through the hundreds of diamond pushups and many swimming evolutions like rope climbing, drown proofing and water confidence. Thank God I had a breakthrough in so many areas.

2.4km run - 8min 21 sec (1st in the company)
1km swim - 20min 23 sec (2nd in the company)

All these by the grace of God and of course, thank God I am still alive. All these whackings and physical are not going to daunt me no more because God has His perfect plans for me through all these. Hallejulah!

NS life

Well, been a long long time since I've blogged. Some updates here.

BMT (Basic Military Training) is one week left. So far this 10 week phase has been blessed. Nothing much and training's still quite slack.

Coming up is 6 weeks (PCP) physical conditioning phase where I will be grilled physically all the time. Hundreds of counts of exercises. Pushups; Chasing Rabbits; Jumping Jacks...Why?

On the 7th week would be my hellweek, or team building week so they call it. Basically it is 5 days of non-stop physical exercises and hammering of your mental strength. 4 hours of sleep in total for 5 days, yup you heard me. 4 hours of sleep. Bet I can beat ethel's record flat haha...

Anyway, if you read this, do pray for me to have endurance through this time. If I have a choice, I would not want to go through this. Hopefully can get out of course.

But all in all, God the everlasting is here with me. It's all less than 28 weeks in total and I'll be done with the trainings. What can be so bad about it...God is everywhere and He is faithful. I'll just carry on in my walk, trust Him to bring me through because He is real and good.

Thank You Father for everything, present and future. I pray for Your peace and joy to fill my life. Bring me through this season with Your grace. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Testify to Love

Beautiful Song

National Service Part 2

Though NS ain't easy and stressful at times, I got a really cool piece of news. So ask me for it if you really want to know =)

God bless all, all in His creation. Believe that He never slumbers and is there for you and me. Ask in Jesus name with thanksgiving. Amen.

Lord, I have alot of worries and problems. But I thank You that I know You will make a way and I see clearer of certain things now.

National Service

Today is my first bookout day. Past 10 days was pretty alright. UPs and DOWNs happened throughout. Met really good cabin mates but of cause had some bad encounters with certain people in the company. Total intake for my unit BMT is 134. Among this, 2 have already been downgraded and out-of-course.

Life pretty much the same daily. Hopefully I'll come through all this. Thank GOd

Naval Diving Unit

Well so long to all of you I love dearly. People I cherished and kept in my heart. Those of you who have forgotten who I am, I still love you. I really have no idea what is ahead and to happen.

Lord, keep me going.

Accountability Group - Love you guys for the card, I will keep it safe! You guys rock my life!

SGcell - Thanks for the prayers and intercession.

Youth Ministry - Thanks for the care and prayers.

Uncle Mark - For all your effort, time and wise words.

Serene - You'll always be my best friend.

Ethel - Thanks for your encouragements, they really mean much.

Sam Leo - Take care sister. Will always keep in touch with you about the updates.

Aunt Erika - Thanks for the concerns always. Never fails to cheer me up inside.

And the rest of you whom I have not mentioned, please don't put a sword on my neck. Love you all the same. Cherish the times and people around you before they are gone. Life is short.

In my life, there are many things I have forgotten and let go of. Yet, some people and issues just will not go out of my mind. I choose to hold onto them. My prayer, dear God, take control of my life and let there be more of You and less of me. Let Your joy be my strength and Your arms be my refuge in times of need. Let Your angels surround me and guard me even in the darkest times.

O Lord, this I give unto You. A life of offering to You and a prayer of blessing upon the people I have met in my life. In Jesus most precious name I pray, Amen.

Modern Levite

9 more days...That's all I have left. Been 9 days since I last updated.

1 Sept: Church 35th Anniversary. This time was really a mistake to involve in 2 sections, I felt really stretched and tired after the celebrations. Somehow, they were all in the midst of my season of disappointments. I can say I was actually "acting" for the celebrations because no way I could give thanks to God after all that had happened. Once again, drained out after the celebrations.

I've been running away from God since the time I failed my pilot interview and subsequently, driving test. I could not accept the fact that He's taken the things of my desires away. It's been a year of rejections already. I can only hope in Jerm. 29:11 that He had plans to give me hope. I really need the hope soon.

A spiritual uplift would be at Modern Levites Conference at FCBC. I had no expectations or heart to listen when I signed up, but somehow God said a lot through the conference. The first verse I heard at the opening ceremony: You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

It just broke down the barriers inside my heart instantly. I have not been seeking God for a very very long time, as if a thirsty man who refuse to look for water. For 3 days of the conference, I learnt a lot on worship and going through Abraham and Isaac in a different point of view has taught me a lot. Moses and Joshua as well, the battles that were won if the men of faith kept their arms up high in the Name of the Lord.

I have not been holding my faith up high in times of battles/crisis. Perhaps all these desires have been clouding out God and gaining more importance than God that probably, better for me not to have been successful. It's so difficult to humble oneself again.

Some of you are going to be leaders/men of faith in unusual places.

I wonder if that was for me since I'm going into NS really soon.

I really pray/hope to come back to the Lord. It's been far too long a dry season and I thank God for the people in my life who have been there when I am at my lowest, I really appreciate you guys.

Nic: Unknowingly my spiritual role model and guidance in my walk with God. To remind me that someone out that is living for God despite all his short-comings and prayer breaks any obstacles in our ways.

Serene: My best friend. Giving me the encouragement when I really needed it. Though we have not been talking to each other for quite some time, but I'll still remember your kind words.

Ethel: Yup, I will keep in mind of your reminder. I'll try my best to keep them.

Things don't necessarily go the way you want them to be.

God?

Had my driving test yesterday. Was a total flop. Really disappointed with the TP system. Anyway, this has hit my faith level a second time since my pilot interview.

Perhaps I did not seek God enough?
Not enough faith?
or maybe God just doesn't want me to drive...

I seriously have no clue.
It's been a period of rejects and closing of doors.
Who am I kidding...

Things are going to get worse in 18 days' time.
Just wait and see.
Somehow, I know God is not making things easy for me to go through...

Back from China after 13 days. It's been a beautiful experience and enjoyable, how I wish I can stay longer. Spent most of my time catching up with my distant cousins and discovering new facts about my hometown that I never expected! China is a country that needs to be prayed for, I hardly see bibles being sold in China...

Well my vacation tour is over now. Driving test is up on Friday, pray that I'll pass cause it's really not worth to fail and sit for the test again. Only by God's grace to see me through.

Highlight in this point of my life should be my enlistment. It's just 22 days away! I'm actually having fears and doubts about it. I feel like I'm facing this all alone...thank God for accountability group but it just feels so lonely and uncertain. My unit ain't the Chao-Keng type of unit and I suppose it's the toughest unit in the SAF.

I don't know man. I don't want to just go through the motion and think negatively about it..I want to make an impact inside NDU. God, help me!

-Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Tapestry 2007

Hi All,

Tapestry photos are ready for collection. Those who which to have a set of the photos for Tapestry 2007 can request from me a copy of the cd =)

Alternatively, pass to me your thumbdrives or a blank cd/dvd to download the photos. CDs need money =P

Thanks and God bless!

-Marcus
HP: 97950535

RSAF Pilot Interview

Just came home from MEL meeting. Had my pilot interview today.

Reported to CMPB at 0830h. Interview was held only at 1300h. Long time of waiting.

Results of Interview: You meet the criterias for RSAF to take you in as a pilot. But do apply again after you have entered BMT as we want you to have a feel of military life before making a final decision. Also, try to listen to experiences of regulars who are serving the SAF in the meantime.

Intepretation: I was not selected for the next stage of selection. Kicked out at only the 2nd stage made me quite disappointed and hearing that I was not chosen totally devastated me. Being a RSAF pilot was my dream, desire and ambition. I wanted it so badly for many years.

I missed it totally this time round. I could have turned away and say, probably look for another career option(SIA?) or turn into an extremist against the Air Force. Why was I not chosen???

But I managed to get a hold of myself after the heart-breaking news. Look on the brighter side. I have not enlisted and they said I can apply again so they will interview me a second round. Anyway, I do not have leadership skills officially documented in my records. So for those of you who went for Outward Bound School, stop complaining because it helps you in your interviews!! To think some of my friends in the past went for OBS when THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE DESERVED IT! I was really pissed at this point.

Lessons that I drew from my interview today:
-God has created room for my faith to grow even more through my rejection.
-I still hold onto His promises.
-I still have chance when I enlist to apply again for interview.
-My cousin went through 10months of Commando before becoming pilot.

Yeah, so why the saddness?

Rejoice because the Lord is faithful and true and He is here, listening to every cry and plead we make. Amazin things will happen according to His perfect time.

Everyday It's You I live for!

Just as I was compiling my prayer list for this week. The evil One launched a sudden attack on me. Immediately I would say. My mum stormed open my bedroom door, ranting aloud her complains, usually unreasonable and irrationale to me, and going on and on. It was quite a common stronghold in me when this happens, I would shout back and just let loose my temper.

Now I thank God. I'm able to hold back a couple of times and just keep silent. Turn to the Lord. Let Him know how I feel. The same just a few minutes ago. I decided to blog this since it means so much to me as a 1st-generation Christian. I just knew the Devil would make use of this chance to pull me away from the Lord.

The temptation to scream and yell at her, to get out of my room and stop ranting away.

I held back! It hurts but I held it back. Only Jesus heals our wounds. The spiritual wounds that none can heal completely except our God. I believe.

And just as I was smsing and msning people to pray for my Air Force Pilot interview on Wed morning, two songs were played back to back on my Itunes and I feel God assuring me. The songs are Salvation is here and Everyday:

Cause I know my God saved the day
And I know His word never fails
And I know my God will make a way for me
Salvation is here!

Second song:
Everyday It's You I live for
Everyday I'll follow after You
Everyday I'll walk with You
My Lord

These two songs just came playing. God has His purpose in His perfect timing. Trust and believe it!

"For I know that plans I have for you", declares the Lord,"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jerm 29:11

Then You will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. -Jerm 29:12

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. -Jerm 29:13

Lord, Lord, grant us a heart of hospitality and don't pass us by O'Lord. Help us to trust in You with ever-believing heart. Seeking You as a precious Jewel. Amen Lord, I surrender all.

Chasing around and around

It's been a fun-filled day for me.For more details on what I did, go through www.citychase.com and find out more if you're interested to know =) so here's everything in a nutshell. In case any of you were in town and seeing nuts people in lime green shirts running around, I was one of them :P

1100h- reached pan pacific hotel and registered
1120h- decorate bear and hang around
1300h- race begins!
1320h- went to draw money($50) to put into the bear bank as a task to be completed..wasted lots of time in Suntec Mall looking for one of the chasepoints.
1330h- Decided to head down to Somerset after solving the clue to Faber House. Task: to collect $50 in the bear.
When we came out of the building, there right beside us was another chasepoint! How great is that! I had to dig out a matching pair of Mahjong tiles before my partner chomped a mealworm down his throat haha. I had trouble finding the second "san wan" haha..Mahjong is bad! lol

Then having solved a clue to go to Clark Quay, we headed for the fountain there by MRT to end up carrying a really heavy beer barrel to "one night stand" pub. There, I had to whip my a glass of beer while my friend has to get someone passing by to drink it. Then we got to finish a glass ourselves too :) ahaha and carry the barrel back!

After that 3rd point, we dashed back to Clark Quay but stopped opposite the MITA building, some arts ministry building. Really hesitating which point to head next because we had a few other clues on hand to choose from. We ran to the busstop and saw bus 80 coming which we can take to Arab Street to Kampong Glam. We weren't allowed the bus because the bus was not designated to stop there. Guess what? We dashed alongside with the bus down the road to the next bus stop. There, we managed to get on 80 and head for Kampong Glam. We figured out several other clues like Crawford Street(Kayaking in Kallang River), Rock climbing for one while the other abseils at Upper book keng road and 2 more chasepoints at Kent Ridge Park.

It was totally cool until we got to Upper BoonKeng where we had to do rockclimbing/abseil. The faggot me got the grip on me while only a 1/4 left up the wall. I gave up! It was just too exhausting! haha...my teammate did his abseil twice by mistake and still could go up the rockwall! Gosh! I burned my hands down abseiling because I could not grip tightly for my dear life! Ouch!

Leaving the center, we headed back down to Kallang Mrt where we were going towards Kent Ridge Park. It was a pretty long train ride so we figured out the last chasepoint that we need. At Kent Ridge, we had to trek through a small jungle and at the station cycle about 200m of off-road track. Then we ran to another station to do high rope up. I was chosen to do it because of the coin-toss rule! Anyway that's just too much to name. Ask me for the wholesome experience. Last stop was Chinatown pagoda street where we had to look for some building that has its roof top shown. haha, we made a mistake and ran to Cross Street area when the building is a Chinese temple beside the MRT. Thank God for many kind souls along the way and also, some not so nice people.

Then after Chinatown and the 10th point that we've got, it was a mad dash back to Pan Pacific Hotel and we came in 28th position with timing of 5 hours 30 mins!! Not bad considering our first time and 28 out of 180+ teams haha...This race taught me a lot and gives me the motivation to try for more adventure races! Anyone interested? ahahah

Okay aside to the crazy day I had. Would like to post some reflections from fellow Churchie's blogposts...No directing at anyone but I just felt this prompting to post it so here goes =)

When someone tells us that he/she is too busy, pray for he/she to have time managed. Do we?

When someone tells us that he/she is too tired, pray for he/she to be renewed in strength. Do we?

When someone tells us that he/she is afraid, pray for he/she to step out in faith in God. Do we?

When we spot a mistake, correct the person personally and with love. Do we?

When everything seems screwed up, pray and intercede for the issue. Do we?

When the going gets tough, remember that when we're weak, He is strong. When we're weak, that's when we rely on His grace! Dear bros/sisters of mine in whatever issues you have, remember that the Lord is our solution. He does not deny that so don't deny Him! Look to Him and trust in Him! See wonders and miracles in Your lives when you start committing everything to Him =)


God bless us all!

Before the Cross

For Your Love is higher than the heavens
deeper than the seas
And all I want is You in my life
No one else
can satisfy my soul
and make me feel this way
Only You Lord, only You

Indeed the faithful God that we have in our lives. He never fails. He is the healer. He is the love. He is what we have.

Today just was an awesome time, and more to come. I had a really bad throat through the weekend and He healed me. He gave me the voice to lead through the service. I believe only our God can have such healing powers as a testimony to His greatness. O Lord, let Your praises be our lips daily. Seeing the youths praising you with joy and worshipping You in spirit and in truth, Lord I believe You visited us today. You are here, forever and ever.

The Lord leads us in a time of worship. His spirit guides us. Obey Him.

Dear God, You are the healer. I trust and thank You for all You have done. I pray Lord for more of You in my life, and less of me. Thank You for Your everlasting grace. Committing all I have to You, I pray Your will be done. Amen.

Friendship

Sunday's sermon by U Kenny was on Friendship...what a timely message from God. I felt as though He was trying to get a message across to me these few weeks, He spoke so much to me about what I was burdened with. I just refuse to listen. I simply refused.

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heavens above
with wisdom, power and love
our God is an awesome God

Indeed He is awesome. I sense a slow restoration in the broken bridge. Been broken for a long time, I have full confidence God will have His will done in time to come. He spoken to me through so many people.

The word He gave: "Wait upon me"..

It was not once but a many times He has said that...wait in His time to come that things will fall into place.

O Lord, I place my life in Your hands. Forgive my ignorance to Your love and grace. May Your will be done in my life and I believe You have the best for Your children, as any earthly father would have as well. Lord, I have full confidence in You to lead me on and I pray all these in Jesus name. AMEN.

Holding on To You

Been an interesting week for me...shall not share here...ask me personally...



That relationship has not been restored..God's timing is the best timing...yes



I've been giving it much thought. If Jesus was me, how would Jesus have handled the situation.



And it came to me, Jesus loved each and everyone unconditionally.
People who loved him, hated him, despised him, tortured him.

So what would you do?

For all You've done

My Saviour, Redeemer
Lifted me from the miry clay
Almighty, forever
I will never be the same again

Cause You came near
From the everlasting
To the world we live
The Father's only Son

And You lived and You died
And You rose again on high
You open the way for the world to live again
Hallelujah, for all you've done
Hallelujah, for all you've done


Like what uncle Francis shared in cell last night, what is the first thing in the morning that we do when we get out of bed?

Last night's sharing was full of gems and treasures that spoke to my life thoroughly. Many sharings and object lessons were exactly what I was going through.

-Faith that moves the mountain - Mark 11:22-24

-Keys of the kingdom of heaven - Matthew 16:19

-Whoever believes in me,as the scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him. - John 7:38

-Standing firm for Christ - 2 Corinthians 12:10

I want to thank God for His majestic teachings, His faithfulness and His abundance of grace. He can give us more than what we can imagine.
Are we prepared to receive? John 16:24

Suffering

God has allowed sufferings on earth.

Tsunamis..
Hurricanes..
Volcanoes..
Earthquakes..
Wars of mass destructions..
Civil violence..
Rape..
Murder..
Accidents..
Terrorism..
Divorces..
Family breakups..
Abortions..
Plus many more..

I want to accept all these events happening in our world today. I don't see it as God's punishment to this world for its sin right from the start of God's creation. It is not a sadistic God trying to convince His people that they need to believe Him to stop all that sufferings that are constantly ongoing. He is not going to give His children a smooth ride in their lives in this world because it is a moulding process.

The bottomline for suffering: Do I love God enough to trust Him that everything that happened and will happen in my life is part of His perfect master plan?

I believe.
Whatever problems I face.
Whatever crisis I'm in.
Whatever difficulty I encounter.
It is always a chance given by God to mould me.

Job. The man who suffered from a divine arguement between God and Satan, chose to hold onto God's character and not on the promises of blessings and gifts that God has. In this way, Satan who has tried to push Job into the deepest valley of his life, has failed in his mission. Job, walked through that valley knowing that God will be there and believed in Him.

The game has been set. The scoreline has been given. God has triumped over death and sin. He has provided a way out for us all sinners. Are we going to choose to trust in His character or focus on certain puny issues in our lives that seems to be magnified by ourselves. Dear God, forgive me for not focusing my eyes on you.

I must share this. It has been a year since that relationship I held was broken. I do not know if the actions I took a year ago was right or wrong but anyway, things are down in the valley. This relationship may not seem to have hope to be salvaged but I trust in God. It indeed is my will to see this friendship restored as soon as possible however, I was reminded that God's will should be what I need to follow. Just look at how simple things actually are! All I need to do is let God's will be done.

Things are always easier said than done. I've been praying to God that this relationship may be restored since I'm pretty sure God does not want to see His children stuck in a conflict. It's hard to take my eyes off the issue and focus on God. I am still trying but I seriously have no clue to how long I can hold on. Probably I need God to hold on to me because He never gets tired.

That sure was a whole of ranting I made. Probably some of you had faced similar problems as me and right now, in the same spot. Some of you might not get the picture I'm trying to illustrate. Nevertheless, I choose to believe that God is faithful and with Him, all things are possible.

Philippians 4:6-7 = Do not be anxious in anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to the Lord. And the peace of God that transcends all understanding guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Thank You Lord for the chance to ask of You.
Thank You Lord for pain I'm going through.
Now I know that pain of unappreciated love.
The time when Jesus, You were sentenced to crucifixion.
When You hung there and died, You were paying the price for my life.
Yet I do not know the cost You paid to set me free,
Forgive me today for I did not believe.
Now teach me to live my life,
According to Your will.
Amen.

What Do You Know?

Just came back from WDYK? camp from 9-12 Jun. I would say yes, it was fruitful!

Probably God's favour was upon this camp and all that praying and fasting by the camp com had been heard.



With no expectations for the camp except to do my job proper as the worship leader, I headed for Changi Resort with the mindset of helping out. I ended up being the leader of "Just Follow Marshall". It was a good experience with Joel coming in and out as a leader too. Thanks going out to Marshall, Luke, Yong Jian, Eugene, Raina, Dione and Sherry for making this camp so wonderful together. They were a sporting bunch who were willing to follow instructions given to them quickly.



As for the program for the camp, Thank God it was truly smooth. Too wonderful. With God's blessings, I tell you NOTHING stands in God's way!



Rachel Chan sprained her left ankle on day 2 while playing mass games. She had stepped into a pothole and somehow sprained it. She didn't do anything about it the whole day and was only till after the session that we found out about it. I was looking at it and I've seen how sprains looked like, she had her first sprain so naturally it was very painful for her. That night, I just prayed for her.



U. Andrew and Pastor Irene were the speakers for this camp. Uncle Andrew spoke on "Holy Spirit" while Pastor Irene brought us to the topic of God the Father and God the Son. Truly it was a simple yet knowledgeable session throughout. Highlight would probably be praying with Uncle Andrew and Aunt Shanti, Uncle Anthony and Aunt Erika. We prayed for the youth campers and helpers first who came forward. Some of the campers even got to pray in tongues for the first time. How amazing is He who can do all things.



Then after 2 hours of praying, the leaders were prayed for. Prophecies were released and Aunt Shanti gave us words from God and regards to our areas of gifts. Mine was the area of writing new songs and healing through the songs. If I got that right. It was an amazing, absolutely fabulous time praying together in the spirit! And after praying, Aunt Erika came up to me and reminded me: "Marcus, your prophecy last year has been confirmed again!" while giving me that you-know-what-you-need-to-do look.



Pastor Irene shared her testimonies and stories with God which were really encouraging. It reminded me that obedience to God should not be a no-no or later kind of attitude but YES Lord I will go for you! Here I am send me! Indeed this camp had been a firm grounding in God's word once again.. Another spiritual high, now to retain that fire that has been set alight!



A million faces I see

A thousand friendships I hold

A hundred souls I touched

Yet only few I shared



Salvation belongs to the Lord

Whom shall I fear

To share His good news



Hallelujah to the King

Hallelujah to the King forever.



Just beautiful. God the everlasting yet neverchanging Creator.

sigh

I will love You with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind and with all my strength.



The Lord is my refuge..



So many attacks within seven days, will I fall?



Don't have a solution.

Who's the anchor of my life?

=Is it the ambitions? the goals? the dreams?



Or is it the One who created all and made all for goodness?



What are you anchoring onto in your life right now?



For myself, starting off as a Christian 2 years ago honestly was no intentional purpose of getting to know God. Somehow, I'm going to spill it all out on here so for those of you who do read, it's the only time you get to see/hear all my thoughts/feelings.

I first started attending service and going to church in Aug 04 and was attending FCBC (marine parade). The place of worship was huge and I was a regular in the service. Then one day, after the service, one of the cell leaders asked me if I liked to accept salvation and say the Lord's prayer.

Somehow at the point, I don't know what's happening but just agreed to everything. So there, I gave my life to Christ. That was in 2004. I took interest in their Children's ministry and tried to help out, which eventually turned out to be a flop.

Nothing more happened for the next 4 months of 2004. I didn't go to service as regularly anymore. Children's ministry was out of my mind already by then and I was just back to my old life. Nothing bad about the old life but you know, there's always something different.

Then came 2005 Jan, I remember so clearly 7th Jan when my elder brother invited me for friday cellgroup in Serangoon. The week that Nic just enlisted into army. The day before my brother had to return to US again to study his degree. I still remembered I agreed to go because firstly, I was bored at home. Secondly, I always hoped to see how a cell is like but never got the chance to.

So off we headed for cell at 2000h. When we arrived the the huge front door, I began to feel that something different is going to happen in my life. The door was opened and everyone who was in cell that day, greeted me with much enthusiasm and joy. They just made me feel like a King returning to his land. I would probably say, this warmth and enthusiasm of the cell was one of the reasons why I kept coming back for more.

That night, my life was turned around. Many new friends and seniors/juniors I got to know and eventually on 16th Jan, I agreed to attend service at the cell's church. That is where I am currently going from then on, World Revival Prayer Fellowship.

At SGcell, the first two friends I made were Constance and Ethel. Two really unique persons in my Christian life. Both are really joyful persons and tried their best to make me feel home in cellgroup. Another reason why I returned to cell on my own was the need for a cell guitarist, at that time, Nic had to go for National Service. So prompted by my brother to try and my own wishful thinking that I could improve my guitar skills, I agreed.

Over the next few weeks in cell when I played for worship, I never knew what is worship or how to worship or why we worship. I was just there to serve as a guitarist. I just enjoyed the time of playing the guitar. Just that it was Christian songs to me at that time.

Then as time passed on, I began to know more people in cell and also in church. More friends/people start pouring into my life and today, after 2 years and 4months, I am proud to say I've known another 300 friends in Christ. Along the way through my time in WRPF, God sent different people into my life at different moments and many beautiful moments I had during these 2years. But not everyday is a rosy time. Of course there were times of saddness and bitterness. But by the grace of the Lord, I can say I pulled through.

Within these 2 years, many many and I really mean many, events and stuff happened. Some seriously affecting my life and mean a lot to me. But to focus back on the time I came to cell and knowing Christ.

It was not a purpose to come to know Christ as I said earlier, I had many reasons why I came back for more. I never saw what was wrong with it in the past.

The love for music. The desire for friendship and family warmth. The hope of having the girl of my dreams.

That was the past intention I had. The girl, God placed in my life, that has so much impact and meaning to me that it diminishes the images and presence of other options I have in life. She is like the perfect and ideal partner I can ever imagine. Character that I can never see in another. This intention was the cause of my coming back, my passion and yet, my bitterness for a very long, long time.

It took me quite a while to comprehend this new feeling in me. It took me even longer to accept the fact that life is not going to be the way I want it to be. But thanks be to God. My first love for a human being is gradually changing to first love for God. The One who deserves all our first love, because He first loves us.

Now that I'm able to focus to God and not use Him as a means in my life, I pray for forgiveness on my foolishness and sillyness. God is the true anchor of my life and under no matter what circumstances, whatever that might happen to me, God is still the true and living God. Everything may change over time, but He will never change. I know He loves me, Daddy God.

So the best, cast all my worries/thoughts/cares onto Him and just trust in Him, His character that He will bring me through all issues and matters in my life. He was the best for my interest.

THANK YOU LORD!

To you: thanks for being in my life. You make a difference to me.

Wonderful time with God

Today Aunt Shanti shared during Youth Service: Authentic Communication...Was just so filled with depth...went up for prayer by Uncle PJ Andrew. It was my first time that God had spoken so much to me. I was so dry through out the week and cannot feel that God is there with me. I got my reassurance today. God was speaking to me, how awesome was that. Tears just flowed from within me, it's been really long time since I teared. Things I got from the praying:

- God knows my silent pleadings and cries
- God will grant the desire in my heart that I've been longing for
- God will fill me with His spirit and the Devil cannot have His stronghold in me
- Guard my heart against provoking thoughts
- Do not worry about my career in future
- God will reveal something to me in 3 day's time
- Do not go ahead of Him in terms of relationship...BGR terms

God loves me, this I know. I thank You Lord. Amen.

Worship Him and adore

Today led worship in youth service. Really thank God for visiting our service. Though I didn't really feel I did my best but I trust God and thank Him that He took care of everything.

"There is power here for miracles...."

Just as we sang it today...Our youths are really restless bunch and especially before the youth service starts, everyone are just not in the mood to praise and worship. I just decided to pray together as a congregation as Nic has done before when he led worship.

I just want to give God all glory for the time of worship and thanksgiving to Him because all these are possible because of Him! Amen!

Mixed feelings...

Right now just feeling so confused...

"should I stay or should I go"

That's what's bothering me.

Nights.

Life goes on

Life's pretty stagnant now...don't think that's very good..

going to start work tomorrow...weeee...

Tapestry '07...here we go again

Grace

How gracious can our God be?

1) I just got to know that I passed my first stage for Pilot vocation in the RSAF.

2) I got into NTU mechanical engineering (direct entry into 2nd year). Though it's not my first choice, thank God I have a choice.

3) God spoke to me during Worship Jam II. I've failed to put my faith in Him even though I cried out to Him so much. It was all along me unwilling to let Him work in my life. Lord Jesus, please move in my life and mould it. I have a strong desire for 2 things but I have no idea which one was God assuring me that will eventually come to pass. I'm just going to walk close to Him and admire His wondrous works in my life. Thank you Lord.

Choose to hear what the Lord speaks, for what He commands is done with love. Listen carefully for His voice, because many distractions and temptations will come.

Amen.

NTU

I got into NTU Mechanical Engineering (direct entry to 2nd year)!!!

I must thank God.

Thank You, Lord!

Amen.

Doors

TOday had Alpha session today..Lesson was focusing on God's guidance for us. How He guides us in my life.

Realised how much faith I've lost in Him and how bland my spiritual life is right now. Indeed, it is the trying times that we are best relying on Jesus and walking close to God. I begin to question myself again, do I really have Jesus in my life...Did I sincerely invite Him into my life?Did I really open the door to Him?

Because of my lack of faith now, I begin to draw further from God. Eyes turning more to the worldly possessions and issues. Mind begins to worry. Heart begins to panick. Life becomes bitter and tensed.

But because of Jesus redemption, things are never the same. For of cause we have to give up the worldly desires and willing to take up the cross.

I have not exactly let go of the issues that I've committed to God. How small is my faith in Jesus. Lord, forgive me for my faith in You is so small. Grant me the peace that transcends all understanding, to know that You are always in control. Dear God, it is hard and You know it, I'll do my best to let go. I pray You take control. Life's good with You around always. That's for sure. You give Your children only the best, thank You God! Amen.

My Shield, My strength

O Lord today I rededicate my life to You
In Your hands I place my trust
That everyday I might live
According to Your living words

Lord abound in me Your everlasting grace
Uphold me in Your great love
Wash me over with Your Truth
Lord let Your truth be known

You are my Saviour my salvation
The rock on which I stand
You are my Saviour my salvation
The light unto my path

Lord, I cast my desires before Your throne of grace
Lord, You know my every hurt in my heart
Lord, only You can see the thoughts of my mind
Lord, I want to follow You closely in everyday of my life

Lord, I don't want to live my life about myself anymore
Lord, help me to see what You see in my life
Lord, help me to love those who do not love me back
Lord, help me recognise Your love I pray

God, I love You.
Forgive me I pray.
Take me to You again.
Bring me out of this.

Amen.

2nd mission trip

This time, I'm heading to Myanmar on the 31st March. Do remember to keep praying for the people there. Anyway, I never saw myself having another chance to go missions before NS. Thank God, it happened.

Why? Because it's what I saw. Matthias if you read this, God can do anything!

It's the most beautiful yet sometimes scary thing that happens. In any case, I thank God. My dad is sure nice enough. Silently sponsoring my kinabalu trip, Myanmar trip and just showing concern in every area. He leaves ample room for me to be independent.

If your father on earth loves you so much, how much more Your Father in Heaven who is there watching over you 24/7.

Learnt how to preach from A. Mary through my weeks of freetime. Good experience and I feel I've been digging deep into God's word. Yet, the Devil's attacks becomes stronger. Seems like I must go deeper :) and pray pray!!

Some past events in my life just re-floated in my mind recently. One word I can only think of. Forgiveness. It's so hard to forgive because I have not done it completely. I want to love the person and just forgive. I want to lay it all down before God but I never seem to had done so for the past months. It hurts a lot and the devil sees this as a point to attack me.

Lord, I pray on my own strength, no bondages can I break. Lord with You, I can do anything. Lord, I pray You grant me faith to believe You can rescue me. Amen.

I wanto believe

I do believe, yet I have so much unbelief in my life. I walk in faith, yet I have so little faith. I follow God, yet I repeatedly find myself stumbling on a path of my own choosing. Paul teaches this is a common disorder among Christians, but he also says the cure for our unbelief is, quite simply, just to believe God. In the midst of our complex negotiations with God on the subject of belief, Paul sums up the issue with one simple phrase: "Abraham believed God …." (Romans 4:3).

I believe; help me to live like I believe. I believe; help me to make decisions like I believe. I believe, Lord, you are trustworthy; help me to abandon my mythology that says I am more trustworthy than you.

God is really really faithful

Never seem like it's possible for God to plan for me to sign on as a fighter pilot. He has opened a way today for me. I came home after cell group to receive an RSAF letter on my table! haha...Thank You Daddy God! I'll use this job and glorify Your name! If I get in.

Today had performance at arts cafe. Nice place. Good ambience. Though I guess I didn't do too well, I just sang unto the Lord. Gave Him the thanksgiving and praises He deserves. Thank You God once again! Amen.

Mount Kinabalu

Hi, im back :)

Continued with previous

That was just a moment of ranting.
Just the Devil trying to place his foot into me and taking God away.
Not trying to act holy...
Sin is constantly hanging around
Especially those who are trying to lead a Godly life
Seek and run to God when sin comes

Remember, run....not fight it...

Lonely...Or Loner?

It's the time of being alone again.
Why am I so vulnerable to being lonely?
Life's pretty plain nowadays.
Where's the enthu me?

Driving lessons and overseas trips.
None of them seem to be fun.
Something's missing in my life.
A hole is left unmended.

Anyone?
Taking my life as it is
Never can I satisfy myself
Sinning against God is so easy
It's making me slip away

I will try
I promise I'll try
It's not that I do not desire
But a heart not determined

Where is she in my life
Where is God in my life
Where is love in my life
My life's going down again

Exams

Finally the tormenting season is over...Things to do up next:

-Mount Kinabalu trip
-Driving Licence
-Guitar training
-Swim and swim
-Run and run
-Weights and weights
-Part-time job?

God and me?

Some verses to look back while I go through the final race in my polytechnic life (By God's grace, it shall be). Thank God for availability of His word so freely to me.

John 3:16 - For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Psalm 46:10 - Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.

Matthew 6:33-34 - But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Galatians 5:22-23 - But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Mark 12:33 - To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.

The true treasures that can only be found in the word of His.

O Lord Our God

Song from Psalm 7:17 and 8:1

Bukit Timah

Today was first training day for M. Kinabalu...
Wasn't exactly a very high hill to train on, but the gruelsome trail has definitely shown me what to expect ahead. It was not really tiring a bit throughout and after. But as some said, show respect to Mount K. if you want to conquer it. Indeed, I'll be intensively preparing myself mentally and physically for it. Lessons I drawn from today's training.

1. In life, it's not about me getting to the point. It's how I can bring people around me along to achieve that goal.

2. Life is not to be rushed or taken at a superbly slow pace. It's about regulating and just being discipline. To rush through the training is impossible and to take your own sweet time, will only delay in finishing it.

It was definitely a beautiful time of training and fellowshipping with the rest of the climbers. Youths were definitely still much alive and the adults were doing good. Even the youngest climber had no problem reaching the halfway mark. Time to stock up on gatorade and chocolate bars!

Let's perserve on and just as to apply in our spiritaul lives, suffering doesn't mean saddness. It's the way to enjoyment and moulding process. Looking forward to the day to climb. God bless.

lonely...

Feeling lonely?

Being alone but not feeling lonely. I can only thank God enough for this that He has told. How magnificent it is. Being all by myself but not feeling lonely at all. I love it. Why go into a group of people and yet feel as if no one is bothered about you.

God, indeed it's how You think that I care about. God, You have the power to speak to anyone. The power to change any idea. The power to create. God, when will I see that glorious work of Yours in my life...

Change me Lord, for Your glory.
Use me Lord, for Your will.
And all honour be to Your name, Amen.

Proverbs 31:10-31

Verse 30: Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting. But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

U. Mark shared regards to wife of noble character today. Thanks to God that He uses people to share His word. Indeed, it is encouraging that the bible even tells men what traits to look for in a woman. Many a times, friends around me always ogle at females and start commenting on what they look for and how hot their ideal partners should be. Wondering, how true is it for us and children of God to behave like this too.

Many crushes and many chances. Nevertheless, the one in me, in my heart stands firmly.
It was tough and is still hard. Challenging but I shall endure, for the Lord has His plans for me. Sometimes, I feel so lost and question why. But I am reassured that God who can do all things, sees the matters of my heart. He hears and He knows. He never fails. We may not get what we desire, but I know, if it is not for me to have, Lord please help to me to accept Your will. For it will not be easy for me to swallow, but I pray Lord, let that 3 ---> 10. No doubt, let Your will be done in my life.

Listening to Your precious words.
Standing still in Your presence.
My awesome God.
My wondrous Lord.

You came and You reign.
You died and You rose again.
Jesus, You're my Lord.
It's You I need, all of my life.
I trust in You.

What a random praise line that I came up for You, Lord. Nevertheless, love You Lord. Even as a foolish lover, because I know You exist and Your goodness endures forever. Amen.

Cell...SGoon??

Went for cell. Rush down from competition at Simei ITE. Reached about 915...
I left at 830 and wanted to grab a cab by 845 but the cab that came along only came at 855...why...

Many things happened between 830 and 845...Want to know why?

I was praying to God while looking out for a cab...I just kept praying the same prayer over and over again, holding hopes that God will send a cab. I argued with Him why I cannot get a cab for so long, trust me I did really ask God a lot of matters...Thank God, and I mean thank you Lord, You sent the cab coming. Though it did not come at the timing I desired, the driver was pretty fast though he looked older than 65 already.

Anyway, arrived at cell and U. Francis prompted everyone to clap for my arrival. I don't know what to say. I mean in the good way. God had sent the cab coming not at my timing but He did send the cab and what U. Francis did, it just touched me. The cell or rather the caretakers of the cell are just so wonderful. God gave the care and they passed it on. It just hit on me, whether I was doing the same to people around me. Am I being hospitable or hostile??

Thank God for SG cell.
Thank God for His grace.
Thank God for everything.

Kinabalu

Today Uncle Kenny preached on Psalm 131 and talking about child-like faith in God for this year 2007. He spoke of Psalm 46:10 which happens to be my verse for the year.

"Be still and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations;
I will be exalted in the earth."

Today, I felt God assuring me go back to Him. Don't give up and stop praying because that's why the evil one desires. I'm still trying to pick myself up and the bible up again especially. Indeed the word of God is so filled with treasures and gems of advice, Lord, guide me through this period. Lord, I desire for a weaned child-like faith, let me bow down to Your purpose and let Your will be done. Amen.

Going to M. Kinabalu, signed up today. Going to train hard for it, might want to consider carrying U. Anthony's younger daughter up since she doesn't have the fitness to go up by herself( she's 4 only) so I'll challenge myself.

Who do you know that is gifted in serving others? Think about what they can teach you today

Was sitting around on the couch, watching the tv when this came to me since I've been having trouble accepting that not everyone has me as their priority.

Jesus was sent down to earth to love all equally. Imagine if He turned away as everyone despised him. This world will never be saved then?

But by the grace of God, Jesus still loved and loves us all the same and still died for you and me on the cross, paying the price of our sin once and for all. Difficult to accept that a stranger can actually pay for my debts? But it happened, by faith, I believe God has the best for me.

Forgive me O' Lord once again I've failed you a thousand times. Lord, indeed Your name is higher and greater for You are everlasting and gracious. I pray that You will bring me back under Your wings and let me see the glory of Your grace and mercy. Let Thy will be done. Amen.

I'm back

i'm back!