Last few days haven't exactly been the best of days even though it's the R&R and Church Camp.
I would never in my wildest imagination expect that the matter of the mind is such a powerful influencing factor.
God I thought I had really surrendered it to You and to trust only in Your word for me. I guess I've failed to, and it feels wrenching inside me. I grapple time and time again and at times, I feel like I've just lost my faith.
You sure come answering prayer at a timing, I thank You for the sign of assurance. But I just get thrown off the next moment, I suppose that's how I know it ain't Your timing.
But can I just share how sucky it feels, sometimes to the point I just want to walk away because I don't understand, I don't see what I have done wrong.
On the other hand as I warned others of spiritual warfare, I'm actually so blind to that fact myself. My failure to see that there'll be downs coming...
Just need to rant this off. God I'm really tired already...I want to act by faith, not by sigh.
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