In Spirit and In Truth

Compelled to mention this tonight before I forget...

I finally stood on the stage front leading again after months of break.
Initially I was really looking forward to today and I was already thinking of the song set 2 weeks before.

Somehow practices were fine and the time sharing together was great! But when it came down to the actual worship today, I concluded a spectrum of experiences through the responses and feedback.

On one end were the positive responses. Generally the feedback was simply good worship.
I'm always curious. How do we define 'good worship' ?

On the other end, well actually with a fellow leader in the team, I shared honestly that outwardly the worship may have been great/good but inwardly, I felt a void; a hollowness. I couldn't make any sense of it but I had no one to share this to =(

I left it as it is after service and evaluation until that someone came up to me (at random) and spoke about this. I had no clue how we came to the same conclusion but I'm glad and grateful that I took this feedback very positively and both of us had a good time of sharing and evaluating this.

I thought much about this and looked back. If this were to happen to me say a year back? I would have taken such feedback pretty badly. I guess it's part of the growing process but I'm definitely glad I've moved away from that problem.

But I suppose in a "worship", it is possible that not all in the presence would have maintained the posture of authentic worship. I think about the woman with her alabaster jar - Mat 14.

Giving our all isn't an absolute value comparison with what we can offer up to Him but a relative offering with a frame of reference to God's desire, our everything. The posture means so much more than the possessions. In the presence of the Lord, only one came to worship with an authentic heart. Those who were present simply criticized the woman but the Bible mentioned nothing of their worship and offering. I guess I take comfort that in any worship, it is really God's sovereign will to move in whom He pleases and it really boils down to the heart, the spirit, the truth.

The encouragement to press on is really not fixating myself on what happens around. What is seen is only an estimation or expression of meeting God. Truly, it boils down to an individual's desire/thirst to want to commune with Him. Because seeing some truly in communion with Him while others probably stood by just observing or singing on the lips, it just shows how accurate Jesus was in His predictions. In Spirit and In Truth.

Despite carrying that feeling of a hollow experience, I'll not let this bring me down but to come before God and lay this at His feet. Trust that He is all-knowing, and He sees beyond what we see.

Come Lord Jesus Come.