I have sinned

Dear God,

I know this is not about me and the power of transformation comes from You. Yet I cannot come to terms that I should stand by and do nothing.

If I am called to tend to Your sheep, should not I be accountable to You and provide Godly counsel? I believe I may not have employed the ideal method or used the most gentle words, but inside me, all I wanted to is for your children to be aware and mindful. Aware that You are omni-present and mindful that our lives are set to please You with obedience and the choices we make in our lives.

If I am called to tend to Your sheep, then I would count myself a disappointment to You. Lord, I am seriously evaluating my position and I pray that You would speak. I rebuke every self-condemnation and hypocrisy in Jesus' Name and I want to ask of You Lord to show up. Show Yourself so real to me; to Your children, Lord that life is far much more than what we think or see. Lord, to be able to discerning with Your wisdom.

Lord, I lay it all down at the Cross; at Your feet.
I have fallen short and I acknowledge my insufficiency.
Take over and use me I pray.
Here I am Lord.

Amen.

Hope

I wait in hope for the Lord;
He is my help and my shield.
In Him my heart rejoice,
for I trust in His Holy Name.
May Your unfailing love be with me, Lord, even as I put my hope in You.

-Psalm 33:20-22

The battle that lasted 11 days

And today marks the beginning of the battle.

11 days has never seemed so long and dreadful.

I see a variety of moods and events, from the solemn and serious ones mugging to the jovial and happy ones enjoying their holidays or even at the youth camp happening now.
Lord I will myself to thank You. To thank You even in this season and out of it.
To thank You that my confidence can be placed in You and despite the circumstance whenever I am in, I pray You'll help me to see things in Your point of view and help me not to be a hypocrite. To truly love You and follow after Your heart.

Whenever and wherever, be the Sovereign God who reigns in me. Amen.

Do not love the world

Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.

The world is passing away, and also its lusts, but the one who does the will of God lives forever.

Children, it is the last hour; and just as you heard that antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have appeared; from this we know that it is the last hour.

They went out from us, but they were not really of us; for if they had been of us, they would have remained with us; but they went out, so that it would be shown that they all are not of us.

But you have an anointing from the Holy One, and you all know.

I have not written to you because you do not know the truth, but because you do know it, and because no lie is of the truth.

Who is the liar but the one who denies that Jesus is the Christ? This is the antichrist, the one who denies the Father and the Son.

Whoever denies the Son does not have the Father; the one who confesses the Son has the Father also.

As for you, let that abide in you which you heard from the beginning. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, you also will abide in the Son and in the Father.

1 John 2:15-24 NASB

Elite for Jesus

To live for Christ as though a special operative...to go against all that oppose His plans...

You probably ain't seeing things, the Mexican Special Ops carrying Barrett in parade!!!
Now since Joel thinks I'm a hamster on cocaine, this is the closest pic I can find to fit the bill!

Still don't get it

I may never understand...

Unforgiveness of a person can supercede God's love...

=S

Please don't go

And it's all happening for real.

What was hinted to us months back was thought of as a passing-remark.
It never occurred to any of us at any time that it was coming.
I knew I had to treasure the moments, the teachings and the experiences.
I just never expected the end to be so near.

Nevertheless, I will hold on.
I will stay strong.
Because of your legacy and your "fatherhood" to me,
I will live my life out in gratitude and appreciation.

I will give my life to a Purpose and a Calling.
Thanks from the bottom of my heart,
You have made a difference in my life.
God bless =)

Trust

If there is one lesson I ought to learn, trust.


To put my trust in no Man but God alone.

Move away.

Those whom God hath joined together...

O ETERNAL God, Creator and Preserver of all mankind, Giver of all spiritual grace, the Author of everlasting life; Send thy blessing upon these thy servants, this Man and this Woman, whom we bless in thy Name; that, as Isaac and Rebecca lived faithfully together, so these persons may surely perform and keep the vow and covenant betwixt them made, (whereof this Ring given and received is a token and pledge,) and may ever remain in perfect love and peace together, and live according to thy laws; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.


Those whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder.



GOD the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Ghost, bless, preserve, and keep you; the Lord mercifully with his favour look upon you; and so fill you with all spiritual benediction and grace, that ye may so live together in this life, that in the world to come ye may have life everlasting. Amen.


Today was Sharon's big day, and many of us were there to witness this joyous occasion. Through the time of catching up with many old friends and seeing familiar faces, I began to run through in my mind how my wedding day would turn out to be...


Yet of cause, I am reminded again that in whatever I should do, it should be according to His Will. And I pray that in such "big" matters,  that I wait upon the Lord and trust in His faithfulness and goodness. Whether in marriage or in singlehood, I can still be an instrument for God and honour Him. 


But by the day, my heart grows fonder. I will trust in God.
In every consideration, I can hardly find another. Yet I will trust in God.
Seeking counsel and praying, I know it is a choice favoured by many. Still I will trust in God.

Lord teach me. Teach me to wait upon You.
To love You first. So that in turn, I may love my to-be-wife as You love me.
Amen.

No Turning Back

The Cross before me, the World behind me
The Cross before me, the World behind me
The Cross before me, the World behind me
No turning back, no turning back

Faith

"Live simply so that others may simply live"


As I listen to Pastor Chua's sermon, it just reminds me so much of the importance of leading a God-centered life.
Not only leading a God-centered life in living, even simply reading His word is to read His word with a God-centered mindset and revolving the focus on God.

The method of contrast in Psalm 1 is a timely reminder of abiding in Him; to look to Him rather than what He can give.
Many reminders are simple and straightforward, but they were mostly forgotten.

My prayer this coming week is to coming back to my first love, Jesus.
It is really difficult and tiring with so much on hand.
I don't foresee a smooth journey ahead, but I am assured of a destination.

I pray O God that You keep me in Your ways, that You will not turn Your face away from me.
Open my blinded eyes to see, open my deafened ears to hear.
Soften my heart to feel Your love, Your Great love.

Faith.
Faith in God has prevailed and will still prevail.
Teach me Lord, to continue to trust in You.
In Jesus' Name.
Amen.

Need You More and More

Purpose Driven Life

PDL. One of the best sold titles and popular among the churches for its very message.

What on earth am I here for?

It is exactly what has been bothering me for quite some time.

With different views of life and influences, it seems meaningless to live on.

It seems like lying down eternally is a better choice.

And it doesn't help being alone, physically especially.

Though I'm surrounded by many most of the time, it is just different.

And as the days go by, as beloved ones fade away one by one, 

I find no one to turn to, feel so helpless and devastated at times recently.

I can't seem to get things done.

Properly.

Nothing seems to be that way.

I know I ought to turn back in His grace.

I know He is there awaiting with open arms.

I know He is ever faithful.

I know He loves.

But I guess I only know.

I may have not experienced it myself.

Lost.

UN - expected

These few days been an emotional roller coaster and has got me thinking about my future.

Also, the challenge was brought up.

Do you want a good life?


So I thought to myself, what is my definition of a good life.

Well I'm still learning to take things positively and learn as much as I can out of every experience.
Because of Jerm. 29:11, I can rejoice and hope in the Lord.
Because of John 3:16, I am reassured in the Lord.

Simply because of who He is, I can rely on Him to lord over my life.

On a side note, I re-contacted a dear friend who went MIA for some time.
I'm glad we talked; I'm glad we'll get to meet up soon; I'm grateful for this opportunity.

Lord, use me. Amen.

Choices

Seems like everyone around me chooses to do what they want.
Regardless whether it is aligned with the plans of God, or there's even a God,
people I know get to choose what they want.

So should I likewise?
It is such a struggle, especially with my current point in life.
A time when everyone around is saying no, perhaps I should too?
But yet, I know I won't say no because if I do, there won't be anyone left.

=( It's discouraging not because I have to "ta" but
what's our priorities? Do we choose the easy way out?

I feel like doing so already.

I choose not to sigh.
I choose to look to God.
Show me why, why I'm going through this season.

Fall into place

If there's one thing I learnt definitely about God, it's that all things will fall into place in His timing to come.
He will see to it; He will bring it to pass.

As a friend says, perfect love casts out all fears.
And I say Amen to that!

=)

Will of God

Pray Thy will be done.
What if God's will is not what I asked for?

How would you handle it?

Faith

Thanks for being faithful despite my faithlessness.

Always been an encounter with you, never fails to surprise me.

Now I lay my hopes all behind me,

Because it seems that hope leads to disappointments.

Not that it is from Your word at all,

Just what I am feeling this season.

Stretch me, pull me, as far as You can,

I hope I'll never snap because you know my limits.

And I guess I'm coming to the end of the road,

Just shows how much I can do without You.

It's all wrong, I know.

I hope I'm wrong.

Yes.

Band of Brothers

The gang of five started out one day,

Hey, let's form a band!

And then on, after the first and last band jam,

an accountability group was formed.

The group eventually had an addition,

all the way from the States.

The group of 6 met pretty occasionally,

Heartfelt sharing over pizza or prata was the norm.

As time went by,

people got busier and hence meetings was lesser.

Slowly but surely, the meetings became less frequent,

Yet thank God, sharing finally grew deeper.

Then one by one, people started fading away.

For the good or the bad,

I'll never know.

One thing I know, Satan has and always will be working very hard.

O Lord, now I'm close to losing my closest brothers-in-Christ.

Indeed Love is the greatest of all.

Lord, then where is the love You gave?

I beg You, to remind us of our undeserved Grace and Mercy.

Lord, put Your Hand in this O God.

I know You are able.

~Praying~

Nothing is for sure

Being a Christian for 5 years now,

I must say it isn't as expected.

The qualities that God tells us and the ones that we exhibit,

no wonder we will never be perfect.

And the count is ongoing,

as days go by,

I count the number of friends and people I know,

Slowly but surely, they drift away.

I can't put into words my anguish,

my sorrow and pain.

As I think of them, each one of them.

How we laughed, how we debated.

How we shared our heartfelt thoughts.

If you have ever been a friend or known me,

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I did not cherish the chance to know you better.

I'm sorry I did not take the opportunity to be a mentor in Christ to you.

I'm sorry I did not share your ups and downs when you needed someone.

I'm sorry I failed to see the importance of keeping in touch with you.

I'm sorry I failed to consider your feelings in my speech and actions.

I failed; again and again.

Can You, God do something?Will You?

I cry out to You because each one of them matters to You.

Because if they don't, then there's no point in me believing.

Show Yourself true Lord, I cry out to You.

Below is for you, every one of you who are my friend.

Though you may never read this.

Nic - You have been a tremendous role model to me since I got to know you better. The days of goofing around on our guits. The moments we shared our hearts out. The times we spent chilling out or playing pool. The super sinful suppers we used to have in the past. If I can just allow you to read my mind, to tell you how much you have benefited to my life and taught me much through your living. Wherever you may be heading in the near future, thanks Nic. And I hope our friendship can emerge from this season stronger than before, not broken nor strained by whatever has happened. May God work in you and through you always.

Alvin - Since the first time I knew you, I always held you in high regards. Initially cause of your wings and knowing that we share so much in common, except that you're a liverpool fan, I thank God for the friendship we have. Now having known you better, I learnt to appreciate your heart for God the Father and how you have been trusting Him, especially with the seasons you had to go through. No doubt you may be worshiping elsewhere, I pray that Jesus will remain in your life as you live each day victorious for Him. Thank you for the many advices, encouragements and times we spent together, especially the insane night outs hunting each other (in a virtual world).

John Ho - For your laughter that infects everyone in the same room as you. For your kindness in opening up your place for our gatherings. For your willingness to bless others with a lift home always unfailingly. For your heart of service to God when you were in WRPF. I thank you and thank God for you. I pray that wherever you are now, that you will keep walking strongly in Him and always ready and wanting to go and share His love with someone you meet. Thank you John.

Matthew Chee - Bro, it's amazing how we've grown closer just over mere few years. Through the times we spent together and the stayovers where we shared our laments. The times we just sat down and poured out our thoughts and issues to one another. The times we came together every Sat to pray for the church and others. The times we decide to go for supper or a movie or a gathering with the common few others. They're embedded in my mind and they will stay. For your coming into my life and sharing my burdens, especially when I really struggled, thanks.

As you come to make decisions in your life in time to come, I pray that your decisions will be nothing but pleasing to the Lord and God alone.

Justin Lim - I have kept your card and always. It was a big encouragement for me and it still is. I have placed it right in front of me on my desk, as a reminder of being a blessing as God blesses. I thank you also, and your family, for your willingness to open up your place for us to hang around. For the mouth-drooling dishes your family whips up for us every time we come over. For the times we stayed over and your family still warmly welcomed us. I pray that NS is just a phase for you to see what God is doing in your life and teaching you. I have not seen you around frequently and yes, it saddens me. I yearn to see you back again. Not just physically in church but back into the love of Jesus. The man who died for us. The God who loves you. Miss you around Justin, hope to see you real soon.

Sam Goh - I can still remember the night we had watch night at Pasir Ris before I left for Sri Lanka. The night I sat with Justin and you. The night that never left my memories. All your joy and laughter, your randomness of jokes and theories. I thank God for you, for you coming into my life. Though I have not got to see you around for quite some time, know that I still remember you. Not just a friend, but a brother in Christ. For whatever reasons, God still loves you the same. He loved and He loves you.

Cornelius - Warm and friendly guy. Outspoken. Fun. That's you. The night I popped by to wish you happy birthday with a cake and visiting you. I want you to know I did it because you matter to me. How much more you matter to Jesus who died for us. I pray for you brother, for you to fall in love with Jesus day after day. Nothing this world can offer will satisfy our hunger, only Jesus can. God bless brother.

Brian - Your quietness is ever the same. But I am confident that God can use you and empower you as you trust Him and give yourself to Him. Though we don't get to meet much, I want to apologize for not making an effort to know you better. My lack of concern for you. My failure to treasure you. But I know that is always reconciliation. I pray you'll remain in Him always.

Shawn Ng - I have known you for quite some time already. Watching you grow up from a scrawny boy to now a good looking handsome young man, I thank God for you. For the letter of commitment you wrote to me once. How much you yearn to see God pour forth Himself, His love over young people. As you take the stage, as you get involved in competitions and pageants, know that as long as you love Jesus, do anything. And I am always here to give you my support and I want to know you better. I wish I can mentor you more. May you come to Him in full surrender as He reveals to you, the plans He has for you. He loves you.

Lionel - You've been a great brother and fellow musician. Your gift in music and your passion for God as you have grown so much recently. Since your departure from WRPF, does not equate that you're forgotten. You've been an encouragement and still are. May God abide in you always as you live each day. Be the "Bullet for Jesus", remember? =)

Julian - Your wackiness is one of a kind. I have yet to meet someone as fun as you. As bold as you. For your courage and boldness, I believe God will use you mightily. We may not see each other often as before, we may not get to agree on certain points. But we in Christ, bear one another in love. Brother may you grow ever stronger in the Lord and rock on for Jesus.

Matthias - Your charisma is ever-overwhelming. You're always a people-person. Having worked with you in let God let go has been a memorable time. Though you're not here already, I really wish I could have got to know you better and be a better friend. Wherever you are now, that God is watching over you always.

Tim Chan - Thank you for the times of serving together. Your charm and your sporty-ness I'll always remember. Your ability to take a step back and analyze situations. The times we spent together on a Myanmar mission. I pray you're doing well in wherever you are.

Jabez - Your multiple talents has always been a blessing. May you grow faithfully in Christ wherever you may be. Your talents be a blessing to the family God puts you in.

Jason - For your curiosity and questions and queries. May you settle and fit in to whichever family of God that you find. I pray that you'll find and experience the revelation of His Love.

Peng Chen - Has been good knowing you and sharing with you issues. Hope you'll have a yearning to grow in love with Jesus and spur on others around. You're a wonderful friend to know and I'll always cherish that.

Serene - Best friend. Though you're no longer coming, know that your cheerfulness and smiles are not forgotten. You've been a bundle of joy and I pray that you keep walking in Him.

Pearlyn - Great to have you in my cell for the times you were here. Seen you grew over the years and I thank God you've made a decision to settle in a family of Christ. May you grow ever stronger in Christ who strengthens you day to day.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

And tonight, I sent off one of my closest friend I made in NTU.

Fellow crusader. Sister in Christ.

This post shall be dedicated to you Sharon =)

Thanks for being an encouragement and the times of sharing.

For being so understanding and accommodating.

When I was joyous and when I was down,

you were there to share the times with me.

Now as you embark on this exciting semester of adventure,

know that you are in my prayers.

The Lord knows the plans He has for you,

plans to prosper you and not to harm you.

I look forward now to your return soon =)

And on the other hand, another two of my closer friends are returning next week.

Time sure zoomed pass, it's as though it all happened last week.

The moment of departure is still afresh in the back of my mind.

Now I'm anticipating the week ahead to come.

Nevertheless, I'm feeling the reality of a friend's departure,

as in a friend who is leaving for an extended period of time.

Now I know I'll have to learn to cope with more of such changes in my life to come,

but I just cannot help but wonder what it is like and if I am the one who is leaving.

Not that I would leave and never return.

But maybe will God call me into a foreign land to reap His Harvest?

Maybe with a given partner of His Will?

Maybe for the longest time ever, He will send me?

Lord I trust in Your character and Your goodness.

In that, You have the best for me despite the circumstances I am in.

To look to You in each and every moment of my life,

and go down on my knees in surrender to Your Will for me.

Jesus, take pleasure with my life, my offering, my everything.

Going and gone

As days go by,

I'm saying more goodbyes.

It has been 5 years

I'm glad I'm still here

I miss the many faces I used to see

Perhaps it's just not meant to be

Turning Point

How much do you cherish life? Your life?

Just had a busy week in church and school...

Today's suppose to end on a high note...

Just came on FB only to heard that a friend just lost her only remaining family member...

Just like that...

No signs...

Gone...

Lord teach me to appreciate life is fragile...

Life's not all about pursuing after meaningless goals...

Now that the friend is all alone...

I pray, Lord PLEASE reach out to her

Turning Point

How much do you cherish life? Your life?

Just had a busy week in church and school...

Today's suppose to end on a high note...

Just came on FB only to heard that a friend just lost her only remaining family member...

Just like that...

No signs...

Gone...

Now that the friend is all alone...

I pray, Lord PLEASE reach out to her

The Greatest of them all...

Love. Agape Love. God.

Sad to read what the world and fellow believers are viewing CHC.

More disappointing are the comments and remarks made by fellow believers.

Their words make me ponder if they truly know God's love.

Reminded me of the passage that Jesus asked the crowd, if any of you has no sin, then let him be the first to throw the stone...

The media had only reported that CHC is assisting CAD and whoever with investigations, which to me does not imply that Pastor Kong and CHC are guilty of anything. I'm unsure of the updates but I'm pretty sure God knows it all, and God will deal with Man as He deems.

Children of God - Before the verdict is officially made, let us remember what Christ has done for you and me. Lay hold of His heart, pray for Pastor Kong and CHC. Sadly if you can't even do that, then pray for God's intervention for the truth to come forth.

Imagine what the world is saying and absorbing when the body of Christ cannot even bear one another in love.

Speculators and those following this issue - Hold your piece and comments because you have no right to give your conclusions until the Governing authority gives its verdict. Don't tell me you have the right because you ain't the judge. If you disagree, does that mean you'll dare to make your own conclusions aloud in a court room? No, because the Law of Singapore will stand.

God, let Your light shine through all these darkness, especially in this generation.

God is Love.

Coming back to the heart of Worship

Met up with a sister-in-Christ today.

Had a good catch up then I decided to bring up the issue of faith because I felt a leading.

I'm glad I brought it up to open sharing.

Praying that God draws her back again.

Rants

Want to know why I don't say no??

Serve God, not Money

Just had a momentary thought...

Am I serving too much? Should I devote my time to studying instead?

Been having so many people coming to tell me that I'm serving too much,

does that mean I should serve less...

And I noticed that I've been giving up very much of my time to Church. Not God but Church.

Time to the cells. Time to the worship team. Time to the meetings.

Should I just focus on my studies this season instead?

Talking about these two points above are my heartfelt thoughts this season.

Cell people are just not into God nor His Kingdom...

Despite how hard I try to pursue them, it feels fruitless.

And perhaps if I give my time to studying instead, I can glorify Him with my grades right...

Isn't that what most people around have in mind?

Reconciliation between members-in-Christ seems impossible...

Pastor preached the message of God being First Love,

that in Christ we ought to live in love for one another...

Somehow I cannot bring myself to agree...

I've given up on that long ago...

These past months, I've interacted and seen a lot bunch of my peers and YA

having other plans...

Some already have made the move...Some already have the plan to move...

Some still considering the move...Some not longer in the Faith even...

The rest? I'm not sure how many will remain...

God, I'm at a loss...I don't know what I'm doing or what You're doing...

Is it really all worth when You come back again...

Fruitless

It is just so discouraging, who can I tell these to?

We can easily say yes to a movie or outings without hesitations but why

do we hesitate when it comes to God and His Kingdom?

Don't we care about the love He gave us?

Or are we just being selfish?

I'm really disappointed, God only You can cause Your people to turn back to You.

I surrender.

Fruitless

It is just so discouraging, who can I tell these to?

We can easily say yes to a movie or outings without hesitations but why

do we hesitate when it comes to God and His Kingdom?

Don't we care about the love He gave us?

Or are we just being selfish?

I'm really disappointed, God only You can cause Your people to turn back to You.

I surrender.

Stand in the GAP

Today was GAP in church and I was tasked to lead worship.

I thank God for this privilege and for MZ who kindly supported me along with his talented skills.

I thank God for the after-prayer fellowship.

I thank God for the after-prayer-and-food fellowship with MZ.

It was fun, insightful and interesting.

A good time tonight.

With Jesus, no worries.

Thank You! =)

Fun Fellowship Faith

It was a fun and joyous time today in cell.

I hope the cell enjoyed the games and get to know each other better,

especially those who are rather quiet.

Lord, there's so much I can do.

I commit the rest and everything into Your Loving Hands.

In Jesus' Name.

Amen

His Kingdom come

Pastor told us,

1. Think Kingdom

2. Serve the King

3. Sacrificial Love

But I feel so weary and tired loving His people...

Unresponsive. Cold. Uninterested.

Enthusiastic. Excited. Optimistic.

It is just a cell of people yet so tough to love.

I wonder how God loves the 6 billion lives in this world (plus many many more)...

I wonder...

Give Thanks

Dear brothers and sisters in Christ,

Today I like to bless you with a testimony of how the Lord can provide beyond our imaginations. I have recently completed my 1^st year of studies in NTU and this thanksgiving is definitely about my life in school!

It all began last August when I had just started university life, fresh out of National Service. Due to certain miscommunications and lapses, I missed the application period for a room in NTU’s hall. Having given up the idea of staying within NTU, I had to commute to and fro NTU for the first two weeks of school. Being all alone and new to NTU, I thank God I could approach a Poly Senior, a final year student who was staying in Hall 4, to share my troubles.

He had encouraged me not to give up applying for a room in Hall despite me missing the deadline. With my senior’s help, I wrote in to the Hall Office to give it a shot and as expected, I was initially turned down. But eventually, I was given an exception to apply since I was a freshman and I was on Medical Leave after my knee operation last May.

So I successfully got a room in Hall 13, however was not the hall that I was hoping to be allocated to. So my senior went through the trouble with his hall president and hall officer to arrange for me to be transferred to hall 4. After running back and fro between Halls 4 and 13, I managed to get the paperwork sorted out and moved in after school commenced for two weeks.

Having heard around about the competitiveness of staying in hall for subsequent years, I initially laid out plans to secure my hall room for the next year by getting into the Inter-Varsity-Polytechnic Team (School Team) for badminton, but unexpectedly I was not accepted due to the supersaturated team of seniors. I began to develop a sense of insecurity as I imagined myself having to travel daily to school which starts at 830am every morning, not to mention the four hours I would waste on travelling each day! So this insecurity led me to involvement with hall activities, on top of the insane schoolwork and commitment to Campus Crusade. At the same time, I committed my issue to the Lord that He will make a way for me to get a place in hall next year.

Did I forget to mention how He provided for me in the first two weeks of school? On the second week when I got a place in hall 4, my brother had to travel overseas and agreed to lend me his car for a week so I could move into hall. To top that off, my aunt unexpectedly gave me a generous amount of money for my studies, which I did not really need since my dad is financing my studies. Nevertheless, how awesome is that right?

Through this first year of studies, it was definitely much dreading and a time of testing for me and of my faith. Despite seeing how He provided for me all these times, I still could not completely trust in Him in certain issues. After my first semester exams, I got desperate about studies and even thought of quitting NTU. This led to my family discussing the possibility of getting me a place to stay right outside NTU. It was something I truly saw God working as I would never have imagined that possibility.

Then as my first year came to an end just weeks ago, I no longer had the intention to stay outside NTU and could only pray and hope for a place in hall 4, like my many other fellow hall residents. It was then during the recent exams that God intervened.

I was in hall mugging for papers on a Sunday evening with a couple of hall friends. We had just returned from dinner and that was when we chanced upon a suspected arsonist in our hall. We were really caught by surprise at how things turned out even after campus security and the Police took over the case. We were pretty traumatized over the incident and yet have to prepare for our papers that week.

Life went on as usual, but I felt deep inside me that God has something in store. I could not tell what it was and despite me seeking Him, I found no answers. I left it as it was. And two weeks after the incident, the Dean of Students invited us to meet him. So today, I went down with my hall friends to meet him.

Today’s meeting with the Dean gave me a pleasant shock. We expected no more than a word of gratitude and a letter of commendation from him. We had wild guesses about the rewards for us. Yet today, God reminded me of His enduring faithfulness and love. My Lord, Jesus has promised that He has plans to prosper me, plans to give me hope and a future. He has assured me that He can provide more than I can imagine. The Dean revealed to us that we will be guaranteed a place in hall for the next academic year! Praise God and thank God!

Words cannot express my gratitude and my regrets. My regrets of failing to trust in God that He can do all things for me; that He loves me and knows what I need; that even when I fail to believe He can still provide. I am writing this because I am loved by Jesus and I want you to know that Jesus loves you too! Yes you, whoever you are reading this!

In the religions and faiths that I have known, the gods may not bless you even when you try your utmost to please them. The gods may choose whether they want to show you mercy depending on how much you can offer to them. Not for my God; not for Jesus Christ. God the Father of Jesus, loved and loves you and me so much that He sent Jesus His only Son to die for yours and my sins even before we know of it. Jesus loves you unconditionally, and all He wants is you to say yes to His love!

I pray that this will bless you and sorry for the long message, but I sincerely hope that you will know that God wants to bless you, I do not just believe in a God, I have a relationship with Jesus Christ because of His love. I am not just a Christian but a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ.

God bless,

Marcus Loh

Unexpected

It was unexpected. He had other plans.

I had such little faith.

Thanks.

=)

Caught in the middle

Yours or Mine?

Less is coming

Pastor's entry is really timely.

My longing to lessen the ministries was answered.

Just anticipating what is to come.

A whole new youth cell group of post-O level people...

It ain't gonna be easy, but I know I'm not alone in this...

YA cell or Youth cell.

I suppose there will be a question posted to me.

Meantime that Elaine is still on exchange, I guess there isn't an option B.

Lord, all is this Yours and for You.

Please take over.

More is less, or less is more?

Sometimes I really wonder, why am I piled with more when I desire for less.

And if you're wondering what I'm talking about, you're probably not in contact with me for quite some time. But everyone is busy running around with their own lives, thank you for reading my post though. =)

I'm referring to the ministries I'm in.

Not that I want to "build a portfolio", but somehow I always end up serving.

But thank God for the timely revamp, changes are coming up around the corner.

In May when the IS launches together with the new youth cell groupings, I really look forward to it.

A whole new chapter.

A whole different group of sheep. Mostly 17-19 yrs old.

Sarah - we must start praying and seeking for the direction for cell =)

This current youth cell has undergone a major change, merging with another youth cell for only months. Yet, change is coming again. Some of the youth have given negative responses regards to the IS and there are those excited about the new cell groupings.

Mixed feelings.

It's in me too...

I can only hope and pray for God to give us the best, simply because He loves us.

This cell is not mine nor anyone's, it's His.

This group of younger lives are in my hands, and I ought to give my all to shepherding them.

Teaching them to love; to be faithful; to rise up against circumstances and trusting God.

Seems like the key issue in church these days is Integrate.

A timely reminder for me...To integrate my Christian life fully into my school/personal life.

It should never be a compartmentalized living.

That's not living by faith.

Looking ahead! =)

Lord, I commit into Your loving Hands.

All that we have, all that we plan.

It is Yours and Yours alone.

Not that I want to

People say time heals. I beg to differ.

Anyway, it is/was very hurtful and it still is.

I don't see a way that I can get over it unless I move away.

That's really something I wish I can do, but I still want to do what God wants me to do.

Sigh, God release me from this stronghold...
You are almightly and nothing is able to limit You.
I believe and I claim it but yet I don't see it.
According to Your will, please do something...

Back to your heart

Interesting week. Had a visit to MINDS on Friday.

People with handicapped mental abilities. Not a disease. Not a sickness.

Just happened to be born this way.

Have I ever thanked God for the normal working brain that I have?

I doubt so.

Friday night had cell. No expectations and I was feeling "ugly" spiritually.

People were not coming.

Stuff was not prepared.

Still, 2 guests visited and seem to be potential for outreach.

Must be God.

Saturday had to wake up early to do canvassing.

It was eventually a nice experience.

Had YA leaders meeting with Ps Chua.

Was reminded of my walk with God.

How much time/week do I even give to God.

Sigh...

Sat night. Planned to chill out with friends.

Yet after dinner, fell into a deep sleep only to wake up on Sun morning.

Must be a divine power that caused me to rest so much.

Went to church. Left to draw money for church camp fee.

Felt the tugging to join the 9am prayer, The Gap.

It struck me so hard to see that i was the only young person in the room.

I wondered to myself. Why like that?

Only God knows.

Today's message struck a chord with YA leaders meeting yesterday.

A deep and clear reminder to come back to His feet.

To rest and to hear.

To pray and to reflect.

To intercede and to teach.

All these things. Yet with so many other things around from the world.

What to prioritize? Which one to give more time to?

Unity was mentioned again.

I glanced around quickly.

With a doubt, I wondered if that could ever be true.

Forgive me Lord for doubting.

It is a sin in itself.

Teach me O Lord and cause me to be teachable.

To be loving. To be compassionate.

For you are love.

You are life.

You are all glorious.

Amen.

Jehovah Jireh

God my Provider my everything...

Every Chinese New Year, He never fails to amaze me.

Not because that I expect this amount,

it's just amazing to see how He can provide.

In one way or another,

In every circumstance,

In every season,

Day in day out.

You can count on it that God is always near. Thank You Lord.

Jesus loves.

How much?

I was just blog-hopping (as usual) when my mind can't focus on my notes in front of me =S

Food for thought:

How much is God really in my life?

-I wanna run into Your arms again

Chinese New Year and Faith

It was just another Chinese New Year.

It was the same process, same rituals all over again.

Things are just getting worse as the days go by.

Personally, time is just never enough.

God.

Church.

Ministry.

Cell.

Family.

Friends.

Studies.

All of them fighting for that 24 hours I have in a day (not to mention my sleep!)...

A friend advised me to find rest in Him, intentionally seek time out with God.

And that I realized, is something I have not been doing for a very very long time...

That personal time with Jesus.

I am not ashamed to blog about it, neither am I proud to say I am slacking...

But it reminds me, how we are living our faith by Grace and not the try to live righteously...

Leading on from here, I never knew about Pastor RT's case until the news reached my ears...

Did a little read up earlier. It is very very saddening.

Pastor RT: I am not sure what you have shared but I know our standards are not of this world. Neither shall we be judged by the standards of this world which does not know the greatness of the Lord God whom we worship.

Be it a pastor who has made a mistake over the pulpit or in their personal lives or in one way or another. Let us (Christians and fellow believers in the Lord Jesus Christ) reflect upon this case-in-point.

-Who are we to judge?

No doubt we can see that it is wrong...

but what does the Bible say? What would Jesus do?

I will not attempt to give you an answer and I believe if you go into the Word, you will find the answer.

And yes, to all of you out there who do not yet know Jesus.

HE who hung and died on the Cross, loves you.

How much? When you realize how much He loves you, nothing else matters!

And yes, if you have to experience Him, the post above will not apply to you as it is my heartfelt thoughts to my fellow believers.

Yet, you are always welcomed to know Jesus! =)

Xin Nian Kuai Le!

Bi-zeee

Hey I'm back again..

It has been busy and busier time for the past weeks...

It has been fun and exciting to get to know other hall mates better...

It has been educating going on trips and activities and events...

It has been hectic serving in cells and GNK and ministries...

Then again I was reminded,

REST...

Am I too caught up in doing so many things?

I feel so far from God...feels like I'm living on my own and for my own...

This cannot go on...

1814400 seconds and counting =)

Enrique Iglesias - Be With You

And now that you’re gone,
I just wanna be with you.
(Be with you)
And I can’t go on, I wanna be with you.
Wanna be with you..

A Change of Heart

How would one know that it is God's will for something?

I've been asking this question.

And thank you sister for your concern, you're really a God-sent.

On the other hand, what is God showing me this season?

I'm getting excited about it =)