You Deserve

I just can't explain...

Things that happened beyond comprehension...
Prayers prayed that spoke right to someone's heart...
Needs felt that were met abundantly by God...

Despite the numerous proof of God's goodness and faithfulness,
yet I find myself still being uncertain and having that tinge of doubt.

Still learning more about myself...
I guess I am really afraid to try, or maybe more so afraid to fail.
Perhaps that's why...

To point everyone in the wrong direction is simply walking away in the opposite direction.

Owning a Collection of driving books doesn't make one a driver

-Insert here since Grace requested for this:

Questions are powerful tools. They can ignite hope and lead to new insights. They can also destroy hope and keep us stuck in bad assumptions. The key is to be intentional and choose our questions well.

Examples of bad questions:

1. Why does this always happen to me?
2. What did I do to deserve this?
3. What’s wrong with me?

  Here are five strategies for asking better, more empowering questions:

1. Become conscious of the questions you are asking yourself.
2. Evaluate these questions: are these good questions?
3. Be intentional and choose the better question.
4. Write down the answers your brain serves up.
5. Take action on these insights.

 http://michaelhyatt.com/007-the-importance-of-asking-the-right-question-podcast.html
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It can be a paradox sometimes.

But I see what You did there.
Because Life is far more than accumulating head knowledge;
Because Life is far more than having fellowship in the finest clothing;
Because Life is far more greater beyond ourselves;
Because Life is simply complex yet complexly simple.

God must know I need that wake up call, that nudge to realize that what we preach or say is REAL.
As I dwelt on the verse Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the Law of Christ. ~ Galatians 6:2, I am convinced that God does not want me to simply absorb these words for sake of preaching it.

Live it. 

I thought it is easy but the truth is that, application is way much tougher than we perceive it to be.
We try to negotiate with ourselves that God will show grace lah...It's okay...
I beg to differ.

His revelation:

My Grace is not for you to use as an excuse for your laziness or lack of discipline. My Grace is for those who give nothing less than what they have to offer yet falling short.

Salvation is free, but it doesn't come cheap. 

And He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and He continued in subjection to them; and His mother treasured all these things in her heart. ~ Luke 2:51
Jesus was missing for 3 days. Mum and Dad found him and gave him a dressing down. The very boy who was thought to have been the ideal kid caught them off guard. 3 days. Perhaps we are like Jesus' parents many times. We try to pin the blame on others (and this began from Genesis during Adam and Eve's time). Key reminder here is Mary treasured all these things in her heart, something the Lord is reminding me this season. TREASURE THESE THINGS.

And it just didn't stop there for me this season. All the undeserving blessing. The unexpected allowance. The unmerited favor. The unprecedented portion. The unimaginable exchange rate.

The 1 lesson for me to learn to see His DEEDS in my NEEDS.

And Life seemed to tumble in to a mix of emotions...
First this, then that.
And tonight, learning that a NS friend has passed on in his sleep isn't helping much.
How frail Life can be. As I read through his FB timeline how people are commenting and giving their condolences and last words, I stopped at a post before his death.

How often we take one another for granted? 

This just reinforced all the more what I ought to do. Die trying Marcus. Die trying.
Because it's going to hurt even more knowing you let the opportunity slip by.

So much to learn, so little time to comprehend.
Abba, I need Your wisdom; to lean on Your understanding.

Jesus, be the Centre of my Life. Hold me and never let me go.

Growing Up (and still growing)

Seek the Lord while He may be found;
Call on Him while He is near.
Let the wicked forsake his way
and the evil man his thoughts.
Let him turn to the Lord,
and he will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, " declares the Lord.

As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than Your thoughts.

Heavenly Father, I need Your divine intervention; Your wisdom.
Lord, I pray You strengthen me in a time as such.
Father I ask that You show Yourself strong.

OPEN MY EYES, THAT I MAY SEE AND PERCEIVE.
OPEN MY EARS, THAT I MAY HEAR AND UNDERSTAND.

For Lack of Understanding

God, why tonight? Why me?

Perhaps too much for me to bear but I sense You have something to say.

I'll probably lose sleep, I'll probably be thinking over and over.
But I pray You say something, show me a sign.
Tell me why though I know Your ways are higher.

This is part of the growing up process?
I figure You really put me through all these for Your very reason.
Life's really not just sitting in a comfortable seat every Sunday anymore.

I can only run to You all the more,
What I do not know, I'll trust You to lead.
What I do know, I commit to You to grant mercy.
Lord, please don't let all that I've learned of You come to naught.

So much going through my mind right now.

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the Law of Christ. ~ Galatians 6:2


God why now? Why?

The Extra Mile(s)

And I know in my heart that all the effort gone into tonight's fellowship was not in vain because the Lord was with us.

I know all the sacrifices is worth it all because unity is formed and fellowship in Christ is priceless.

I know all the hardwork is not worthy of mention because I saw how the leaders truly have a heart and love for the cell.

I know all these is not possible, without the Lord.

So thank You God for tonight and the time of fellowship in the cell, thank You for blessing the Shins to bless us all thank You for each and every loving leader of the cell, and thank You Lord for every single precious member.

Thank You Jesus.

Unearthing in progress

Perhaps this is really my true calling?

I honestly dare not glance down the path that this decision would take me on...
Full-time into God's work? Yes I know we are called to be full time Christian. 24/7.

But Full-fledged worker of the Lord? I'd confess my faith is probably like the size of a nano-particle.
Dealing with this is hard. I suppose it's me, getting it all wrong and mixed up.

But honestly, I find more enthusiasm and joy in encouraging people in their faith journey; equipping myself to better equip others for the Lord's work; serving in any capacity within the body of Christ and so on. I dare say that the knowledge I have gained from my engineering background have helped me much along the way yet I don't think I can say that I did truly enjoy the work and the process.

Sigh.

Back to the tasks on-hand.

Abba Father, I take joy in serving You. I will choose to go to the ends of the earth to further Your Kingdom over being yoked by the competitive lifestyle here where I was raised. Nonetheless, I want to surrender these concerns, these thoughts to You. Simply Father, You know the plans You have for Your child. Plans to prosper and not to harm, plans to give a hope and a future.

I claim it. I love You Lord. Lead me I pray.

Roots of intimacy brings forth fruit of performance in worship

Fizzz

Of late, my mind has been like a can of coke violently shaken. (You know what I mean)

 I may just be saying this over and over again but I'm seeing what God is doing in me and my life.
Before, I always saw God's plan and mine as 2 separate entities and having to pray to God that He'll show me grace and choose mine.

Time went by and I think I've changed. For real. I have learned to take my plan before God and lay it at the Cross. I would rather choose His will and pray that instead of just picking my plan, that God You have the BEST for me and I claim that BY FAITH, and go in peace in His leading.

I suppose this has to start somewhere. God if You're going to put me on this path, then I pray You make the way forth for me. I really really don't want to go down this road to learn a costly mistake.

I trust in You Lord.

The Lord his God

So much has been happening, both around and inside me.

Probably feels like a popcorn making machine inside my head (and my heart too).

It is eye-opening to see how God takes one (me actually) on a journey and to TASTE and SEE personally.

And getting involved in the 40-day spiritual formation program, I found myself handed various tasks as the days go by. But if there was any progress I've made, it definitely would be the attitude in receiving.
Receiving these tasks regardless of their glamor, is God's way of molding me, preparing me.

Plus it doesn't help when matters-of-the-heart comes knocking on the door this season. I pondered whether this would be censored here but I guess no, since I treat this as my platform of journal. But no worries to my readers, no names gonna be mentioned here =)

Indeed the Word of God holds many gems and treasures. Do not be mistaken, do not be deceived. The BIBLE is the very Word of our God. A possibility why we doubt what it says because we can't and never be able to comprehend God totally. His ways are higher and He knows exactly what He is doing.

Having to spend my holidays doing school project and completing tasks in church and ministry, I have learned to see things from His perspective. Why am I doing all these? Why don't I use my time to do things that I want to do?

I could, if I lived for myself. The plain and simple truth. If we claim to live for Jesus, to give ourselves to God, then perhaps a good start point is to serve Him with gladness and joy in the very tasks we are given.

And nothing beats the joy of seeing the younger ones coming day after day for the 40-Day S.F.
I pray the 7 of them who have chosen to give this 40 days to God will find Him, find themselves set on fire with a passion for Him and His Kingdom.

Coming back to the hearty-matter, I find myself struggling. Struggling because I'm afraid of my First Love will go out of focus, I'm afraid because I may find myself loving another person more than God Himself. And I know I cannot afford to let that happen. Easy to say, hard to apply. But I keep praying and I'll press on, I'll resolve to overcoming this through surrendering to Him.

Definition of Love has been redefined for me many times. Before knowing God and after, I seek to know the true measure of Love and what it means to really love. I thank God I have gained much insight of the years but I think I have more to comprehend. And I won't stop finding out.

All in all, God is good and has been good to me. I thank You Lord because even when I don't deserve, You still gave. I won't know what is ahead for me and what is coming for me, but one thing I know, I can and I will and I choose to trust You Lord.

Focus Focus

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth
Will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace
In the light of His glory and grace

Isn't He beautiful?
Isn't He beautiful?
Outshining sun and stars
It's indescribable
How breathtaking You are

So I turn my eyes upon You now
Look full in Your wonderful face
And the things of earth
They grow strangely dim
In the light of Your glory and grace
In the light of Your glory and grace

You are so beautiful
You are so beautiful
Outshining sun and stars
It's indescribable
How breathtaking You are

 

Turn Your Eyes - Vicky Beeching

Lead Worship, Live Worship.

As always, a powerful experience having fellowship with S&R.

Though this time was just a tea-time huddle fellowship, I deemed it as one of the more powerful fellowships I have had. Authentic and genuine. Yes everyone sure have a different story to tell, but it was a time of iron-sharpen-iron and I have been blessed and encouraged.

It encouraged me because each and every individual present had the shepherd's heart and burden,
because we knew well in our hearts that the worship ministry is beyond the onstage "performance",
because despite our differences and perspectives, we desired a similar outcome.

No doubt the food was excellent and possibly the perfect setting for a time of afternoon fellowship, I think we all agreed that the time couldn't have been better spent coming together sharing our lives and how we are.

Striking home an important reminder once more, SHEPHERDING OUR SOULS.

I pray that every spiritual shepherd out there, will have the desire to care for the souls of those entrusted under.

We love because He first loved us.

Thank You Jesus, for this wonderful awesome day. For the unimaginable that you had to do for me.

You died for me, help me to live for You.

Going home

In less than 48 hours, i'll be packing up my room in hall 4 for the final time. Previously, there'd be a major transition between each acad year involving through-the-night shifting. Not this year, not anymore in the near shifter.

And definitely the many memories I'm packing up and bringing home with me. The countless makan trips made on various counts of wheels, the relentless acad demands taking a toll, the late night meetups with dear church peeps who live in the west, travelling back to 'home' with the westies and so much more...

I am happy to say that i'll be bringing home the sweet memories, choosing to leave the bad ones behind. And the reality of life and aging has set in over the past few years, through my years in hall. How soon the coming of the day that I'll be moving out of home, be it as a single or as a newlywed (I hope it's the latter though).

Having said much, I'm gonna miss the west!

The Beauty of His Creation

Oh, my dear friend! You're so beautiful! 

And your eyes so beautiful—like doves!~ Song of Solomon 1:15

Allow me to gaze and behold your beauty, for as long as life can be.

The Word of God ~ The Source of Life; The life of the Source ~ Jesus Christ.

Love never fails.

Love the Lord with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy. 


Love others as you love yourself. ~ The Message

Lord, Teach me to love.

Doing it on PURPOSE

My BPS: To uphold a first Love relationship with God that will steer me towards His Calling according to His Word under the Counsel of the Holy Spirit.

My Values: Family ~ Character ~ Perseverance ~ Blessing ~ Failures

My Vision:

I wanna do something that matters, say something different
Something that sets the whole world on its ear
I wanna do something better with the time I've been given
I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
Leave nothing less than something that says I was here

Dying...Are you?

Blog-reading a little while today got me thinking again...

Where has everybody gone to?

Too busy with school and studying?
Caught up with the never-ending pile of work from the office?
Or perhaps, a new chapter in life say being in a relationship?

Reminiscing those days back then when (almost) everyone (in church) wanted to hop on the blogging train because it seemed like the "in-thing" I guess. Then just like the saying that time will heal everything, time also wears off anything right?

One by one, friends ceased to update their blogs with posts and updates about their lives. Slowly but surely the names fade away* from the tag boards, the comment posts...I thought maybe real soon, I would just do the same and shut down my blog like most did or leave it to collect spider "web"...haha punny! spider web on the web...Okay never mind!

Brings me back to 1 thing I sorely need to do in my life...Devotion to God...
Going through recent chain of events and encounters only caused me to really pause, reflect and wonder where has my devotion to God gone to all these time? The kind of feeling like you're right next to your spouse but your mind was all along elsewhere say the office? Yeah right, who thinks about work after office hours right?

But I meant it. I'm in for greater woes and trouble if I persistently neglect this aspect of my life.

Devotion to God.

It's almost safe to say it's the foundation to one's journey of faith. I'm not painting the exact full picture here of receiving salvation and hence being grateful and all that, but perhaps after receiving the greatest gift in the world, surely that has to cause some kind of effect or change in the recipient's life?

Hence the need for a thorough self-examination is of utmost urgency. I can't imagine myself living day after day without this insatiable love for Jesus. I can't sing another lyric of a song claiming that I love Jesus or I'd give Him everything if I can't give 30 minutes of my 24 hours in a day to Him.

Realization of His Grace and Mercy, of His incomparable Love. Perhaps that's what I need. Focusing my life right again knowing that God will cause everything else to fall into its rightful place.

Living with a Focus.

Into Your Hands I commit again

James 1: 2 - 8

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

Lord, teach me Your ways and to trust You in ALL things.

Right now I lay my words out

You've been on my mind without a doubt

Through the times of smiles and pouts

My heart is silent but inside it's screaming so loud

All About You

Especially this week, you've been running through my mind pretty much the whole time...
Love, the greatest of all...

He died and rose again

This Easter is definitely going to be different from past years.

Well to start things off, SP has kicked off a week of reflective session in the evenings leading up to Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

Though I had to miss last night's session due to class, I thank God I came tonight.
And I will for the next 2 nights.

Simple. Quiet. No fancy stuff.
Just God and me (and others around of course).

Can't wait for tomorrow!

If Christ died for you, won't you live for Him?

Draw Something

Almost coming to a month since I last made an entry...

There was the night cycling with Hall:

What I choose to think our YAY! Ministry is all about in celebrating our 1 year birthday:

Next came natalie's 19th birthday:

Perhaps it is good for one to pause from time to time and really reflect on what went by and what lessons could be drawn from one's life? What has God been doing or perhaps saying something?

From the movie ACT OF VALOR:

“So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people.

When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.”

~ Tecumseh

Friend in need is a friend in...

One of the things God is showing me this week: fRIENDSHIP...
Anyway, a true friend is someone who turns his/her gaze at you when you need to turn to someone.

Don't think I've been doing a great job as a friend...
Time for me to learn to be a true friend.