Shroud of Darkness

Because caring is not the same as loving. Things I can't comprehend.

So how different are we? Things I can't comprehend.

I thought that I would really be fine thereafter. Things I can't comprehend.

A cell that seemed so different yet never as this close to my heart. Things I can't comprehend.

The ever increasing amount of resistance in the spiritual realm. Things I can't comprehend.

The situations I have to face in life. Things I can't comprehend.

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It has been a heavy dosage of UPs and DOWNs in just the past week. To tell someone to always thank Him in every circumstance seemed far too easy. To tell someone to never bear life's burden alone seemed far too easy. To tell someone that they are never alone seemed far too easy.

A part of me reminds me that all the heavy-batterings are signs of an unseen warfare escalating and God is doing a work greater than I can imagine. Another part of me feels otherwise. It wants to give in. It wants to run away. It refuses to believe all that God has in store.

I consider myself a joke, a hypocrite. In the very things I can say to encourage someone else, I shrug it off immediately when it happens to myself. I think I'm getting emotional as I pen this down. I better stop here. May or not be finish this off.

Right now, my mind feels like a tomato tossed into a blender going at maximum power. 
You should have thought it through when you made that choice, dummy.

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I choose to trust You, though I may not understand.