The temptation will always be there.
Honestly i'm still learning to deal with it.
And often I find myself so caught up in it,
I have to move away and center myself in Him, and constantly reminding myself that Love is unconditional; Love does not demand; Love is God's heartbeat.
So for the idea of caring less,
is thrown right out of the window.
Even if it seems unnecessary or bothersome to others, I'll keep things unchanged since I know it's my gifting.
This break away from home comes with a mixture of UPs and DOWNs and certainly I'm thankful for mostly being the UPs and in the DOWNs, I get to process them with Him and just figuring out what I can pick up or learn about Jesus.
It is less than 12hours to a brand new year and I look forward to the next season, one that is undeserving. I thank God for preparing another verse-for-the-year and I know He does not reveal the verses each year without letting it sum up that particular year of experience and takeaways.
"For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light." ~ Colossians 1:9-12 NIV
So this year I know He has something greater for me as He desires for me to live a life worthy of Him. Easy to say but I will try. I'm just thankful that from my baby steps, He has placed guardians and angels along the way to point me in the right direction, the only direction - Jesus.
"Hence my closing prayer to 2012 in loving the Lord God with all my passion, prayer, intelligence and energy, is entering into 2013 and undergoing further refinement of my life, my faith that I may live a life worthy of Him."
_______________________
I know we've talked about this. I hope you find that a verse-for-the-year is of Him and not just another program created by Man. And as you find Him releasing His Word to you, you'll just go into a whole new level of intimacy with Jesus :)
Monday, December 31, 2012
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Memories
And You led me to peek into it.
I flipped to the first page as the settled dust scatters.
As I turned page by page, the memories return.
Memories that I wished never return.
The greatest irony would be me. Myself.
Count on the saving grace of God, yet I remain trapped in the past.
Regard myself in Him and a new creation, yet time and again I question myself.
So end of the day, have I truly come to know who Jesus is?
If I really do, then there has to some form of indication.
It has barely been a week after the camp, I pity myself for fearing that
all the passion and rising of faith were only but of the moment.
That true living out of Faith in Christ Jesus being short lived,
That all the declarations and acclamations were nothing but lip service.
Surely the God we claim to worship cannot be mocked.
I pray, that our hearts come to true repentance.
Before it is all too late.
We need a greater dosage of Jesus.
We need to be injected and infected with Jesus.
We need to find ourselves so crazy about Jesus that the world is able to notice a change in us.
We need to throw off a lot of hindrance and stand up for our Faith.
I flipped to the first page as the settled dust scatters.
As I turned page by page, the memories return.
Memories that I wished never return.
The greatest irony would be me. Myself.
Count on the saving grace of God, yet I remain trapped in the past.
Regard myself in Him and a new creation, yet time and again I question myself.
So end of the day, have I truly come to know who Jesus is?
If I really do, then there has to some form of indication.
It has barely been a week after the camp, I pity myself for fearing that
all the passion and rising of faith were only but of the moment.
That true living out of Faith in Christ Jesus being short lived,
That all the declarations and acclamations were nothing but lip service.
Surely the God we claim to worship cannot be mocked.
I pray, that our hearts come to true repentance.
Before it is all too late.
We need a greater dosage of Jesus.
We need to be injected and infected with Jesus.
We need to find ourselves so crazy about Jesus that the world is able to notice a change in us.
We need to throw off a lot of hindrance and stand up for our Faith.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Deal With It
It was an authentic struggle I faced.
Something additional this Christmas has taught me.
A lesson beyond the usual Christmas season brings with it.
And I thank God for it. What more, the double reminder and emphasis.
So I resolved.
I have only but minute wisdom on my own.
My plans are limited by my short foresight.
It is all about seeking His plans and timing.
Some say it's silly. Some disagree. Some can't be bothered anymore.
But if there is one thing I would choose to, is follow what the Bible tells me.
So God I want to surrender once more, even if I have to keep repeating it.
An act of surrender; an acknowledgement of Your Lordship; A heart of sonship.
My Heavenly Father loves me.
For that fact, He will only have what is best for me.
Till then, be it unto me.
As long as He wants it, I will desire the same.
Something additional this Christmas has taught me.
A lesson beyond the usual Christmas season brings with it.
And I thank God for it. What more, the double reminder and emphasis.
So I resolved.
I have only but minute wisdom on my own.
My plans are limited by my short foresight.
It is all about seeking His plans and timing.
Some say it's silly. Some disagree. Some can't be bothered anymore.
But if there is one thing I would choose to, is follow what the Bible tells me.
So God I want to surrender once more, even if I have to keep repeating it.
An act of surrender; an acknowledgement of Your Lordship; A heart of sonship.
My Heavenly Father loves me.
For that fact, He will only have what is best for me.
Till then, be it unto me.
As long as He wants it, I will desire the same.
The Imperfect Christmas
Yesterday I heard once of the best Christmas message ever delivered.
The imperfect wedding.
The adopted child.
It dawned on me that Christmas should really come along with a time of reflection, a time of remembering.
It scares me that at the end of the day when all the action dies down and the crowds disperse amidst the joyous celebration, Christ seemed to be sidelined as a reason for another public holiday marked down on our calendars.
Perhaps the 2 very similar gifts are a stern reminder from the Lord. Stop and reflect.
Stop. And reflect.
The imperfect wedding.
The adopted child.
It dawned on me that Christmas should really come along with a time of reflection, a time of remembering.
It scares me that at the end of the day when all the action dies down and the crowds disperse amidst the joyous celebration, Christ seemed to be sidelined as a reason for another public holiday marked down on our calendars.
Perhaps the 2 very similar gifts are a stern reminder from the Lord. Stop and reflect.
Stop. And reflect.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
The Least.
 |
| BEST FAMILY PORTRAIT EVER |
 |
| LOVE FROM ZAC |
 |
| DEBBIE! |
 |
| JAMES AKA MASTERCHEF |
 |
| D&J - DONNIE&JEAN ALSO NOW KNOWN AS THE SEETS |
 |
| HUI LE THE FUNNY DUDE |
 |
| JACOB THE COOL MUSCLE MAN |
 |
| WEN POR THE TURTLE DOVE MAN |
 |
| SIMONE |
 |
| DIONE |
 |
| ZAC. THE LITTLE BROTHER I NEVER HAD. |
 |
| ZEPH. FOREVER BITING. |
 |
| RACHEL. MY FELLA CAMP CHAIR. |
 |
| BRIAN. HEART OF GOLD. |
 |
| RAMESH. A BROTHER I'D DIE FOR. |
 |
| EUGENIA. TOOTTOOTZ LOL. |
 |
| JERALYN. OUR HIGH FLYING SISTER =) |
 |
| EVIE! |
 |
| ETHEL! MY LONGEST KNOWING SISTER IN WRPF! |
 |
| EUDORA. THE COOLEST ON THE BLOCK (OR HOUSE). |
 |
| SARAH. A FAITHFUL FRIEND. |
Some things in life just cannot be measured in value.
Things like these. Friends. Loved ones.
I put this up to remind myself each day, each moment of how blessed I am.
I put each one of these up to remind myself to never take things friends for granted.
Thinking back what happened yesterday just blows my mind.
Because 18 days later, celebrating my 25th birthday was the least I expected.
Receiving the BIGGEST card in my life was the least I expected.
Looking at the coolest licence plate ever existed and the waterproof bag was the least I expected.
I know I really don't deserve all these, least I don't feel that way.
But even if all these didn't happen, I wouldn't value each of you differently.
I'd still lay my life down for you.
I'd still drive you back at the way to the other end of the island.
So may I never forget the faithfulness of God.
For He so loved me that He placed each one of you in my life's path.
I pray a prayer for you tonight.
May our friendship last as long as the Lord deems.
--------------------------------------------------
I'm really not the kind of person who will tell you certain things in the face.
Like how grateful I am or how mad I may feel.
But if you do notice, really notice, you'd know how I really feel deep inside.
Just pause for a while, you'll see.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
???
Maybe I'm doing it all wrong.
But I fear more if I do nothing at all.
So I'll try, and trust as I might.
Cause I know God loves me,
And He'll know if the door is meant to stay
shut or wide open.
Against all the earthly opinions,
I'll choose the Divine.
I only ask that I will keep walking in Him, towards Him and for Him regardless.
God my First Love.
But I fear more if I do nothing at all.
So I'll try, and trust as I might.
Cause I know God loves me,
And He'll know if the door is meant to stay
shut or wide open.
Against all the earthly opinions,
I'll choose the Divine.
I only ask that I will keep walking in Him, towards Him and for Him regardless.
God my First Love.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Know You More
And that should be one's goal in life.
If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him. ~ John 14:7
You won't know what you don't love. Furthermore, you can't love what you don't know.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Really thankful over how everything unfolded today from the bus ride to the availability of breakfast to the orientation in the office to the two-hour chat with my manager to the availability of lunch to the self-reading time in the afternoon to the bus ride that brings me to various locations that I will need to go to.
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. ~ Col 3:17
Seems like the coming workload may not be an easy one. Yet, a time of learning and going a on journey with Him excites me so much more. Perhaps it is the freedom and greater maneuvering space that comes with entering the working life. I won't deny there were little details that didn't fulfil my expectations and I had moments feeling bummed about it. Eventually, I got around it as I give thanks for the much that I don't deserve and how much more favor He has already given me.
The covering of prayer from Sunday's service has definitely come in handy and I have to remind myself time to time, why I do what I do and how to do what I do. Most importantly, who I do for in what I do. Coming into this company may seem random but I choose to believe God has planned for me. The company logo also reminds me of who the Center of my life is, the Trinity of God. There is a greater need for me to constantly re-align the center of life's focus; to re-calibrate what I aim for.
So I am officially into the next chapter of my life. Whatever is to come my way, I do pray that I find the wisdom and accountability along the way. It is a path for me to walk and in the unknown, to know Him more.
And not forgetting, thank you for sticking around; for being awesome; for listening; for the bits of wisdom.
This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, others will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! ~ 2 Cor 9:12-15
If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him. ~ John 14:7
You won't know what you don't love. Furthermore, you can't love what you don't know.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Really thankful over how everything unfolded today from the bus ride to the availability of breakfast to the orientation in the office to the two-hour chat with my manager to the availability of lunch to the self-reading time in the afternoon to the bus ride that brings me to various locations that I will need to go to.
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. ~ Col 3:17
Seems like the coming workload may not be an easy one. Yet, a time of learning and going a on journey with Him excites me so much more. Perhaps it is the freedom and greater maneuvering space that comes with entering the working life. I won't deny there were little details that didn't fulfil my expectations and I had moments feeling bummed about it. Eventually, I got around it as I give thanks for the much that I don't deserve and how much more favor He has already given me.
The covering of prayer from Sunday's service has definitely come in handy and I have to remind myself time to time, why I do what I do and how to do what I do. Most importantly, who I do for in what I do. Coming into this company may seem random but I choose to believe God has planned for me. The company logo also reminds me of who the Center of my life is, the Trinity of God. There is a greater need for me to constantly re-align the center of life's focus; to re-calibrate what I aim for.
So I am officially into the next chapter of my life. Whatever is to come my way, I do pray that I find the wisdom and accountability along the way. It is a path for me to walk and in the unknown, to know Him more.
And not forgetting, thank you for sticking around; for being awesome; for listening; for the bits of wisdom.
This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, others will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! ~ 2 Cor 9:12-15
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Truth
Maybe I'm afraid of the side of me that people hardly know of. 8 years and counting, surely this cannot go on forever.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
A Beautiful Exchange
Today we continued Part 3 of a 4-part sermon series in church: Song of Songs. Learning about Jesus as the Servant is a humbling experience. And I sometimes wonder if we truly appreciate the significance of this teaching in this season. As some in the days of Jesus were, we come with our own expectations and interpretation of who God should rightfully be.
A triumphant One. A mighty One. Unmatched powers and supernatural abilities. At the first sight of him, his opponents flee beyond the ends of the earth.
Yet in the past three Sundays, a different Jesus was portrayed.
A Jesus more concerned about His Father than His circumstances.
A Jesus desired to testify of His Father's Faithfulness over his own image and reputation.
A Jesus who knew what impact would follow the decisions and actions he made.
A common saying nowadays is Jesus is the Reason for the season.
And that can't be anymore true. This world may have rode on commercializing the significance of Christmas. Truly a season of giving. Yet, it stems from the very first Divine giving, the birth of Christ. Hence this Christmas, means more than just giving of presents; of writing letters and such. These are just forms and ways of expressing our appreciation for each other which is fine, except that one must never forget the Divine Giver. The Greatest Gift.
And so God, I thank You in this season. Of all the storms and gales I'm experiencing, I can still give You thanks and praise. There are certainly much that I do not deserve and yet You have freely given, so Lord may my heart remain in a posture of thanksgiving and waiting upon You.
The coming few days will be of one major transition, masked by the busyness of exams, of FYP, and of preparation for YAY! Camp. Thinking back how I came to the decision to extend my studies did not exactly find favor with people, yet God so graciously has opened doors and opportunities for me.
The wasted years (months in this case), was never wasted. The Lord is good and His faithfulness truly beyond our comprehension. How He closed the door and opened it only after a season of waiting and looking around. How He put me in a spot of choosing between a job or a commitment to the ministry. How He brought about the various Godly counsel who gave me bits of wisdom and their share of experience. How He ushered in different peoples to come forward and introduced me to various potential positions.
It seemed to be a repeat of how I went through each 'major' transition in the past years. The O's. The Diploma. The NS. The Uni. How in each season God has a vastly unique plan setup for me. And this coming season of transition definitely feels a whole lot more fearful than the previous ones. Perhaps because there are certain junctures of decision that I will have to make and steps of faith that will require me to be placed in a vulnerable position. Maybe it's the fear. Maybe it's the memories that hurt. Maybe it's the uncertainty that lies within.
But if God who has proven to never fail in His promises, perhaps it is also a season of change. A season of trusting wholly. A season of pure waiting and patience. A season of pressing God in prayer for a revelation. And I am excited as I put these thoughts down in writing. In the YESs and NOs, I can still give thanks to God for a gift in every experience. A learning curve and a knowing curve. A knowledge that what I know and how I feel is far from what God has already considered and planned out for me.
A Father's Love that is beyond measure. A Servant who cast aside His rightful position to do the Will of His father. How faithfulness triumphed unwillingness. Yet Christ gave Himself knowing that God would raise him up to glory as the price is paid in full.
Knowing He led a meaningful and purposeful life to impact others, how then shall I live?
Knowing He chose to bear a testimony of the Father's heart, how then shall I live?
Knowing He remained faithful in spite of all the odds against him, how then shall I live?
The end of the journey, the knowing of Christ, is just another step taken towards Him.
Faithfulness is a long obedience in the same direction.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Certain occurrences in recent weeks have really redefined Church for me.
The coming to service on Sundays. The attending of YAY! on Saturdays. The daily devotions with God. The constant mindfulness of God's presence in our lives.
Church has gone way beyond that, and I thank God for inviting along this journey. The different areas of help. The different situations I am exposed to. The unseen cries and hurts that never reaches the ears and eyes of the Church. As I consider my blessings, I am also prepared of greater things to come. Through ministries, is ultimately the goal of furthering the Kingdom of God, bringing the only true Hope to this World.
A triumphant One. A mighty One. Unmatched powers and supernatural abilities. At the first sight of him, his opponents flee beyond the ends of the earth.
Yet in the past three Sundays, a different Jesus was portrayed.
A Jesus more concerned about His Father than His circumstances.
A Jesus desired to testify of His Father's Faithfulness over his own image and reputation.
A Jesus who knew what impact would follow the decisions and actions he made.
A common saying nowadays is Jesus is the Reason for the season.
And that can't be anymore true. This world may have rode on commercializing the significance of Christmas. Truly a season of giving. Yet, it stems from the very first Divine giving, the birth of Christ. Hence this Christmas, means more than just giving of presents; of writing letters and such. These are just forms and ways of expressing our appreciation for each other which is fine, except that one must never forget the Divine Giver. The Greatest Gift.
And so God, I thank You in this season. Of all the storms and gales I'm experiencing, I can still give You thanks and praise. There are certainly much that I do not deserve and yet You have freely given, so Lord may my heart remain in a posture of thanksgiving and waiting upon You.
The coming few days will be of one major transition, masked by the busyness of exams, of FYP, and of preparation for YAY! Camp. Thinking back how I came to the decision to extend my studies did not exactly find favor with people, yet God so graciously has opened doors and opportunities for me.
The wasted years (months in this case), was never wasted. The Lord is good and His faithfulness truly beyond our comprehension. How He closed the door and opened it only after a season of waiting and looking around. How He put me in a spot of choosing between a job or a commitment to the ministry. How He brought about the various Godly counsel who gave me bits of wisdom and their share of experience. How He ushered in different peoples to come forward and introduced me to various potential positions.
It seemed to be a repeat of how I went through each 'major' transition in the past years. The O's. The Diploma. The NS. The Uni. How in each season God has a vastly unique plan setup for me. And this coming season of transition definitely feels a whole lot more fearful than the previous ones. Perhaps because there are certain junctures of decision that I will have to make and steps of faith that will require me to be placed in a vulnerable position. Maybe it's the fear. Maybe it's the memories that hurt. Maybe it's the uncertainty that lies within.
But if God who has proven to never fail in His promises, perhaps it is also a season of change. A season of trusting wholly. A season of pure waiting and patience. A season of pressing God in prayer for a revelation. And I am excited as I put these thoughts down in writing. In the YESs and NOs, I can still give thanks to God for a gift in every experience. A learning curve and a knowing curve. A knowledge that what I know and how I feel is far from what God has already considered and planned out for me.
A Father's Love that is beyond measure. A Servant who cast aside His rightful position to do the Will of His father. How faithfulness triumphed unwillingness. Yet Christ gave Himself knowing that God would raise him up to glory as the price is paid in full.
Knowing He led a meaningful and purposeful life to impact others, how then shall I live?
Knowing He chose to bear a testimony of the Father's heart, how then shall I live?
Knowing He remained faithful in spite of all the odds against him, how then shall I live?
The end of the journey, the knowing of Christ, is just another step taken towards Him.
Faithfulness is a long obedience in the same direction.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Certain occurrences in recent weeks have really redefined Church for me.
The coming to service on Sundays. The attending of YAY! on Saturdays. The daily devotions with God. The constant mindfulness of God's presence in our lives.
Church has gone way beyond that, and I thank God for inviting along this journey. The different areas of help. The different situations I am exposed to. The unseen cries and hurts that never reaches the ears and eyes of the Church. As I consider my blessings, I am also prepared of greater things to come. Through ministries, is ultimately the goal of furthering the Kingdom of God, bringing the only true Hope to this World.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)