Long time coming

Seems like I have not spoken to you in ages. Tonight's reminder just can't be any better timing...

I pray, either you enlarge my plate or take stuff off it. I choose to believe there is nothing you cannot redeem.

It's been great thus far. Yet, it can be greater; better. Trusting you all the way.

Intimacy with you is a necessity of life.

The Strength to Stand Alone

Rant

I shall not rant. How then do I find release and yet not sin against You?

No Doubts About It

Today has been such an encouragement after all.
The worship duty. The turnout in cell.
I say it must be You.
It must be You doing something in our midst.

More of You Lord. More Lord.

Little notes along the way

Listen, my son, and be wise, and set your heart on the right path: (Proverbs 23:19 NIV)

“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. (John 4:34 NIV)

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. (1 Timothy 6:12 NIV)

Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:8, 9 NIV)

A person may think their own ways are right, but the Lord weighs the heart. To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice. (Proverbs 21:2, 3 NIV)

On Guard

Barely a day has passed, and so much has had to happen.

God, thanks for putting all these in my life. I know well that at the end of it all, they were meant to strengthen me; my faith in You; my dependency on You.

Show me how to love like You have loved me.

Where does my Help come from

I guess where I am placed this season, there is far more for me to learn than I can imagine.

Question is, how much am I willing to rely on Him and humble myself to learn; to love; to live?

Risk or Faith

Having the night to sit & think about life. Not exactly my life but to steward what He has graciously given me. Fact that things have turned out like this & for me to learn of certain matters, has subtly injected questions in my head.

I wish it could be simpler for me, a little more normal like everyone else. Truth is I may at times just want to fit in, i really do. But I guess the Call is just too important and significant to ignore.

So comes the days ahead. I foresee the road cluttered with potholes and obstacles along the way, yet sometimes in driving or following a path, one simply has to keep a constant lookout for signs. Tell tale signs.

In the first place, I regard myself as undeserving. Surely, there are tons of other options & candidates God can use. People with great wisdom, people with great charisma. The fact that all these years of "serving" I have regarded myself as "Not enough". The good out of it? Is always testifying to God's providence in my shortcomings. I guess that's part of the journey.

Things at work really don't seem to get easier. The point of me even harboring the thought to retaliate is so real that I envisioned what I would actually do while in the thick of being oppressed. I'm only human. I actually still have way more flaws than people see. I think ultimately, I need that counseling.

"Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city" Prov 16:32

End of the day, is a good reminder for me to remain thankful. "Always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ" Eph 5:20.

The small little of voice of God that reminded me why I go through what i go through. At Your very Word, I will stay put; I will stand firm; I will wait it out until You call me to move. My prayer that Your Will supercedes my desires and convict me in Your Spirit and lead me to do as You will.

So much to come in the journey with you. I thank You once again.

Bearing

Because just as important as it is to be equally yoked, it is a good reminder again to be headed in a common direction.

I yield to Your Call, do as You wish.

The Ultimate...

Yup I'm praying for much more revelation to come!

A Self-Awareness of Limits

I think it's a season of limits right now. Not just recognizing mine, but in others as well and learning to embrace theirs.

One of the challenges I'm challenged with, is rejection. I begin to see how it was shaped through my years of growing up (hopefully am still), and for me to appreciate how it can be my strength as well as my weakness.

Hence the greater need to be anchored/abide in God. A greater dependency on Him to reveal these things to me who in all my wisdom, will never understand.

For what is worth, I hope I remain thankful for what has happened thus far. I pray for His help to remain sane in the midst of Martha-ing yet finding the time to be Mary-ing.

To greater glorify You, is to boldly declare my weakness and dependence on You. Alone.

The timely reminder(s)

Far too easy to be distracted in life.

I find myself like a little boat with an achor far too long. Sure enough I still remain anchored but can it be firmer? Can the length of the anchor chains be shorter that i be nearer to my anchor?

Inward Excellence. A good reminder tonight of what had been on my mind. Again. It probably will keep coming back anytime, but I'll stand ready; prepared to fight it off each time it comes at me.

End of the day: maybe I'm the problem. End of the day: Am I seeking what my Lover desires? Am I coming back to my anchor? Am I still abiding?

We Are The Reason

What I live for.

Stay Rested

Despite being a long weekend, it doesn't feels like it.
One can simply tell by reading my previous entry.
Plagued with typos in an attempt to blog before I nod off. LOL.

The busying on Good Friday.
The need to return to office on Sat.
The busying again on Sunday.

Things I've learned & appreciated along the way, yet I have to examine my lifestyle.
I want to be mindful of what I am choosing in life.
Else, I fall into a vicious cycle of losing my connectivity with Him.

And I fear that so often.
I fear that I lose the sensitivity to hear God in the hardening environment of my workplace.
I fear that I lose the passion & desire to wait upon the Lover of my Soul.

So I will keep my eyes fixed on high and far above.
To a Savior who gave ALL of Himself for me.
For Him I will choose to live my life.

GOOD FRIDAY

What I don't deserve.

It has been a loooong day. Up early in the morning for last min lrevisions to the sermonette, then off to church for Team1 practice. Thereafter was Good Friday Service, and yes I was giving a short sermon.

Then after service ended, there was practice for Sunday. To think i skipped breakfast & lunch, and it's always hard to imagine!

It has been a great day.
Thank You Lord :)

OH THAT RUGGED CROSS

Oh that rugged cross my salvation 
Where Your love poured out over me 
Now my soul cries out hallelujah 
Praise and honour unto Thee 


Song that has been playing through the week in my car.
A timely reminder.
Where I am & why I am.

In less than 24 hours, I'd be up on the pulpit sharing my 2nd sermonette.
A sermonette that God has used my life's circumstance to speak to me.
I can only pray that my focus be fixed on Him and not on my situation.

Just today, things went to a whole new level.
"If you were in Korea, you'd be dead" was the remark.

You know how people used to read of encouragements like
Obeying God even though we do not understand why.
Easy to say, hard to practice. So true.

Here's something to share from last night:

Harder I try, deeper it gets

Guess I better pen it down. Elsewhere.

Self-Correcting

So apparent that a leader is supposed to be able self-direct; self-counsel; self-correct.
Question is, to what standards? By whose guidance? And how does one knows he's there?

1. The Holy Spirit. The God-Partnering Spirit (GPS), is the only device a Christian leader ought to follow. A GPS in this case, is better than an actual one. The Holy Spirit is one who constantly guides a Godly leader, especially when he's lost.

I guess it really applies much to me, in this season where there's so much darkness. It's funny how every season of darkness that shrouds me seem to be bigger than the previous one. Toughest thing to do, probably to really listen to Him and obey.

2. The Bible. The infallible Word of God (Yes I still don't get that definition). But I guess one thing I have experienced in the last 8 years, is that the Word must come to life through application. It is so much more than celebrating the victories and the joys read, the pains and the brokenness. It is in the pain; the sorrow; the defeats, that showed me so much of God.

I will always remember the principles I've picked up along the way in reading the Bible. Pointers that I have kept deep in my heart because they have taught me much and shaped me who I am today through life's experiences. My life experiences.

3. The Counsel. Thank God for the loveliest and dearest peoples in my life. Those who loved me for who I am, and those who showed me who really loved me. People who God must have placed along my life to point me back to Him.

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I really don't think I deserve to be where I am, I don't.

Trust

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this;   ~ Psalms 37:3-5

This weekend wasn't exactly much of a slowdown to rest. Think I have to get really intentional for the next one. Especially if I'm feeling like I'm leaking already =S

Much I do not understand. But there is someone up high who does.
So I will ask; I will seek; I will wait.
But that takes time, takes intentional effort, takes space & silence.

Can't get enough of it. Can't wait for the day to come.

A Realization

The greatest blow is not in the knowing.
It lies in the assumption that every effort was made;
that one has been trying to do things the 'right' way;
that a given input should naturally come a given output.

But sorry, that's just not how God works.