Risk or Faith

Having the night to sit & think about life. Not exactly my life but to steward what He has graciously given me. Fact that things have turned out like this & for me to learn of certain matters, has subtly injected questions in my head.

I wish it could be simpler for me, a little more normal like everyone else. Truth is I may at times just want to fit in, i really do. But I guess the Call is just too important and significant to ignore.

So comes the days ahead. I foresee the road cluttered with potholes and obstacles along the way, yet sometimes in driving or following a path, one simply has to keep a constant lookout for signs. Tell tale signs.

In the first place, I regard myself as undeserving. Surely, there are tons of other options & candidates God can use. People with great wisdom, people with great charisma. The fact that all these years of "serving" I have regarded myself as "Not enough". The good out of it? Is always testifying to God's providence in my shortcomings. I guess that's part of the journey.

Things at work really don't seem to get easier. The point of me even harboring the thought to retaliate is so real that I envisioned what I would actually do while in the thick of being oppressed. I'm only human. I actually still have way more flaws than people see. I think ultimately, I need that counseling.

"Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city" Prov 16:32

End of the day, is a good reminder for me to remain thankful. "Always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ" Eph 5:20.

The small little of voice of God that reminded me why I go through what i go through. At Your very Word, I will stay put; I will stand firm; I will wait it out until You call me to move. My prayer that Your Will supercedes my desires and convict me in Your Spirit and lead me to do as You will.

So much to come in the journey with you. I thank You once again.