Being a Christian for 5 years now,
I must say it isn't as expected.
The qualities that God tells us and the ones that we exhibit,
no wonder we will never be perfect.
And the count is ongoing,
as days go by,
I count the number of friends and people I know,
Slowly but surely, they drift away.
I can't put into words my anguish,
my sorrow and pain.
As I think of them, each one of them.
How we laughed, how we debated.
How we shared our heartfelt thoughts.
If you have ever been a friend or known me,
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I did not cherish the chance to know you better.
I'm sorry I did not take the opportunity to be a mentor in Christ to you.
I'm sorry I did not share your ups and downs when you needed someone.
I'm sorry I failed to see the importance of keeping in touch with you.
I'm sorry I failed to consider your feelings in my speech and actions.
I failed; again and again.
Can You, God do something?Will You?
I cry out to You because each one of them matters to You.
Because if they don't, then there's no point in me believing.
Show Yourself true Lord, I cry out to You.
Below is for you, every one of you who are my friend.
Though you may never read this.
Nic - You have been a tremendous role model to me since I got to know you better. The days of goofing around on our guits. The moments we shared our hearts out. The times we spent chilling out or playing pool. The super sinful suppers we used to have in the past. If I can just allow you to read my mind, to tell you how much you have benefited to my life and taught me much through your living. Wherever you may be heading in the near future, thanks Nic. And I hope our friendship can emerge from this season stronger than before, not broken nor strained by whatever has happened. May God work in you and through you always.
Alvin - Since the first time I knew you, I always held you in high regards. Initially cause of your wings and knowing that we share so much in common, except that you're a liverpool fan, I thank God for the friendship we have. Now having known you better, I learnt to appreciate your heart for God the Father and how you have been trusting Him, especially with the seasons you had to go through. No doubt you may be worshiping elsewhere, I pray that Jesus will remain in your life as you live each day victorious for Him. Thank you for the many advices, encouragements and times we spent together, especially the insane night outs hunting each other (in a virtual world).
John Ho - For your laughter that infects everyone in the same room as you. For your kindness in opening up your place for our gatherings. For your willingness to bless others with a lift home always unfailingly. For your heart of service to God when you were in WRPF. I thank you and thank God for you. I pray that wherever you are now, that you will keep walking strongly in Him and always ready and wanting to go and share His love with someone you meet. Thank you John.
Matthew Chee - Bro, it's amazing how we've grown closer just over mere few years. Through the times we spent together and the stayovers where we shared our laments. The times we just sat down and poured out our thoughts and issues to one another. The times we came together every Sat to pray for the church and others. The times we decide to go for supper or a movie or a gathering with the common few others. They're embedded in my mind and they will stay. For your coming into my life and sharing my burdens, especially when I really struggled, thanks.
As you come to make decisions in your life in time to come, I pray that your decisions will be nothing but pleasing to the Lord and God alone.
Justin Lim - I have kept your card and always. It was a big encouragement for me and it still is. I have placed it right in front of me on my desk, as a reminder of being a blessing as God blesses. I thank you also, and your family, for your willingness to open up your place for us to hang around. For the mouth-drooling dishes your family whips up for us every time we come over. For the times we stayed over and your family still warmly welcomed us. I pray that NS is just a phase for you to see what God is doing in your life and teaching you. I have not seen you around frequently and yes, it saddens me. I yearn to see you back again. Not just physically in church but back into the love of Jesus. The man who died for us. The God who loves you. Miss you around Justin, hope to see you real soon.
Sam Goh - I can still remember the night we had watch night at Pasir Ris before I left for Sri Lanka. The night I sat with Justin and you. The night that never left my memories. All your joy and laughter, your randomness of jokes and theories. I thank God for you, for you coming into my life. Though I have not got to see you around for quite some time, know that I still remember you. Not just a friend, but a brother in Christ. For whatever reasons, God still loves you the same. He loved and He loves you.
Cornelius - Warm and friendly guy. Outspoken. Fun. That's you. The night I popped by to wish you happy birthday with a cake and visiting you. I want you to know I did it because you matter to me. How much more you matter to Jesus who died for us. I pray for you brother, for you to fall in love with Jesus day after day. Nothing this world can offer will satisfy our hunger, only Jesus can. God bless brother.
Brian - Your quietness is ever the same. But I am confident that God can use you and empower you as you trust Him and give yourself to Him. Though we don't get to meet much, I want to apologize for not making an effort to know you better. My lack of concern for you. My failure to treasure you. But I know that is always reconciliation. I pray you'll remain in Him always.
Shawn Ng - I have known you for quite some time already. Watching you grow up from a scrawny boy to now a good looking handsome young man, I thank God for you. For the letter of commitment you wrote to me once. How much you yearn to see God pour forth Himself, His love over young people. As you take the stage, as you get involved in competitions and pageants, know that as long as you love Jesus, do anything. And I am always here to give you my support and I want to know you better. I wish I can mentor you more. May you come to Him in full surrender as He reveals to you, the plans He has for you. He loves you.
Lionel - You've been a great brother and fellow musician. Your gift in music and your passion for God as you have grown so much recently. Since your departure from WRPF, does not equate that you're forgotten. You've been an encouragement and still are. May God abide in you always as you live each day. Be the "Bullet for Jesus", remember? =)
Julian - Your wackiness is one of a kind. I have yet to meet someone as fun as you. As bold as you. For your courage and boldness, I believe God will use you mightily. We may not see each other often as before, we may not get to agree on certain points. But we in Christ, bear one another in love. Brother may you grow ever stronger in the Lord and rock on for Jesus.
Matthias - Your charisma is ever-overwhelming. You're always a people-person. Having worked with you in let God let go has been a memorable time. Though you're not here already, I really wish I could have got to know you better and be a better friend. Wherever you are now, that God is watching over you always.
Tim Chan - Thank you for the times of serving together. Your charm and your sporty-ness I'll always remember. Your ability to take a step back and analyze situations. The times we spent together on a Myanmar mission. I pray you're doing well in wherever you are.
Jabez - Your multiple talents has always been a blessing. May you grow faithfully in Christ wherever you may be. Your talents be a blessing to the family God puts you in.
Jason - For your curiosity and questions and queries. May you settle and fit in to whichever family of God that you find. I pray that you'll find and experience the revelation of His Love.
Peng Chen - Has been good knowing you and sharing with you issues. Hope you'll have a yearning to grow in love with Jesus and spur on others around. You're a wonderful friend to know and I'll always cherish that.
Serene - Best friend. Though you're no longer coming, know that your cheerfulness and smiles are not forgotten. You've been a bundle of joy and I pray that you keep walking in Him.
Pearlyn - Great to have you in my cell for the times you were here. Seen you grew over the years and I thank God you've made a decision to settle in a family of Christ. May you grow ever stronger in Christ who strengthens you day to day.
