Rants

Want to know why I don't say no??

Serve God, not Money

Just had a momentary thought...

Am I serving too much? Should I devote my time to studying instead?

Been having so many people coming to tell me that I'm serving too much,

does that mean I should serve less...

And I noticed that I've been giving up very much of my time to Church. Not God but Church.

Time to the cells. Time to the worship team. Time to the meetings.

Should I just focus on my studies this season instead?

Talking about these two points above are my heartfelt thoughts this season.

Cell people are just not into God nor His Kingdom...

Despite how hard I try to pursue them, it feels fruitless.

And perhaps if I give my time to studying instead, I can glorify Him with my grades right...

Isn't that what most people around have in mind?

Reconciliation between members-in-Christ seems impossible...

Pastor preached the message of God being First Love,

that in Christ we ought to live in love for one another...

Somehow I cannot bring myself to agree...

I've given up on that long ago...

These past months, I've interacted and seen a lot bunch of my peers and YA

having other plans...

Some already have made the move...Some already have the plan to move...

Some still considering the move...Some not longer in the Faith even...

The rest? I'm not sure how many will remain...

God, I'm at a loss...I don't know what I'm doing or what You're doing...

Is it really all worth when You come back again...

Fruitless

It is just so discouraging, who can I tell these to?

We can easily say yes to a movie or outings without hesitations but why

do we hesitate when it comes to God and His Kingdom?

Don't we care about the love He gave us?

Or are we just being selfish?

I'm really disappointed, God only You can cause Your people to turn back to You.

I surrender.

Fruitless

It is just so discouraging, who can I tell these to?

We can easily say yes to a movie or outings without hesitations but why

do we hesitate when it comes to God and His Kingdom?

Don't we care about the love He gave us?

Or are we just being selfish?

I'm really disappointed, God only You can cause Your people to turn back to You.

I surrender.

Stand in the GAP

Today was GAP in church and I was tasked to lead worship.

I thank God for this privilege and for MZ who kindly supported me along with his talented skills.

I thank God for the after-prayer fellowship.

I thank God for the after-prayer-and-food fellowship with MZ.

It was fun, insightful and interesting.

A good time tonight.

With Jesus, no worries.

Thank You! =)

Fun Fellowship Faith

It was a fun and joyous time today in cell.

I hope the cell enjoyed the games and get to know each other better,

especially those who are rather quiet.

Lord, there's so much I can do.

I commit the rest and everything into Your Loving Hands.

In Jesus' Name.

Amen

His Kingdom come

Pastor told us,

1. Think Kingdom

2. Serve the King

3. Sacrificial Love

But I feel so weary and tired loving His people...

Unresponsive. Cold. Uninterested.

Enthusiastic. Excited. Optimistic.

It is just a cell of people yet so tough to love.

I wonder how God loves the 6 billion lives in this world (plus many many more)...

I wonder...

Give Thanks

Dear brothers and sisters in Christ,

Today I like to bless you with a testimony of how the Lord can provide beyond our imaginations. I have recently completed my 1^st year of studies in NTU and this thanksgiving is definitely about my life in school!

It all began last August when I had just started university life, fresh out of National Service. Due to certain miscommunications and lapses, I missed the application period for a room in NTU’s hall. Having given up the idea of staying within NTU, I had to commute to and fro NTU for the first two weeks of school. Being all alone and new to NTU, I thank God I could approach a Poly Senior, a final year student who was staying in Hall 4, to share my troubles.

He had encouraged me not to give up applying for a room in Hall despite me missing the deadline. With my senior’s help, I wrote in to the Hall Office to give it a shot and as expected, I was initially turned down. But eventually, I was given an exception to apply since I was a freshman and I was on Medical Leave after my knee operation last May.

So I successfully got a room in Hall 13, however was not the hall that I was hoping to be allocated to. So my senior went through the trouble with his hall president and hall officer to arrange for me to be transferred to hall 4. After running back and fro between Halls 4 and 13, I managed to get the paperwork sorted out and moved in after school commenced for two weeks.

Having heard around about the competitiveness of staying in hall for subsequent years, I initially laid out plans to secure my hall room for the next year by getting into the Inter-Varsity-Polytechnic Team (School Team) for badminton, but unexpectedly I was not accepted due to the supersaturated team of seniors. I began to develop a sense of insecurity as I imagined myself having to travel daily to school which starts at 830am every morning, not to mention the four hours I would waste on travelling each day! So this insecurity led me to involvement with hall activities, on top of the insane schoolwork and commitment to Campus Crusade. At the same time, I committed my issue to the Lord that He will make a way for me to get a place in hall next year.

Did I forget to mention how He provided for me in the first two weeks of school? On the second week when I got a place in hall 4, my brother had to travel overseas and agreed to lend me his car for a week so I could move into hall. To top that off, my aunt unexpectedly gave me a generous amount of money for my studies, which I did not really need since my dad is financing my studies. Nevertheless, how awesome is that right?

Through this first year of studies, it was definitely much dreading and a time of testing for me and of my faith. Despite seeing how He provided for me all these times, I still could not completely trust in Him in certain issues. After my first semester exams, I got desperate about studies and even thought of quitting NTU. This led to my family discussing the possibility of getting me a place to stay right outside NTU. It was something I truly saw God working as I would never have imagined that possibility.

Then as my first year came to an end just weeks ago, I no longer had the intention to stay outside NTU and could only pray and hope for a place in hall 4, like my many other fellow hall residents. It was then during the recent exams that God intervened.

I was in hall mugging for papers on a Sunday evening with a couple of hall friends. We had just returned from dinner and that was when we chanced upon a suspected arsonist in our hall. We were really caught by surprise at how things turned out even after campus security and the Police took over the case. We were pretty traumatized over the incident and yet have to prepare for our papers that week.

Life went on as usual, but I felt deep inside me that God has something in store. I could not tell what it was and despite me seeking Him, I found no answers. I left it as it was. And two weeks after the incident, the Dean of Students invited us to meet him. So today, I went down with my hall friends to meet him.

Today’s meeting with the Dean gave me a pleasant shock. We expected no more than a word of gratitude and a letter of commendation from him. We had wild guesses about the rewards for us. Yet today, God reminded me of His enduring faithfulness and love. My Lord, Jesus has promised that He has plans to prosper me, plans to give me hope and a future. He has assured me that He can provide more than I can imagine. The Dean revealed to us that we will be guaranteed a place in hall for the next academic year! Praise God and thank God!

Words cannot express my gratitude and my regrets. My regrets of failing to trust in God that He can do all things for me; that He loves me and knows what I need; that even when I fail to believe He can still provide. I am writing this because I am loved by Jesus and I want you to know that Jesus loves you too! Yes you, whoever you are reading this!

In the religions and faiths that I have known, the gods may not bless you even when you try your utmost to please them. The gods may choose whether they want to show you mercy depending on how much you can offer to them. Not for my God; not for Jesus Christ. God the Father of Jesus, loved and loves you and me so much that He sent Jesus His only Son to die for yours and my sins even before we know of it. Jesus loves you unconditionally, and all He wants is you to say yes to His love!

I pray that this will bless you and sorry for the long message, but I sincerely hope that you will know that God wants to bless you, I do not just believe in a God, I have a relationship with Jesus Christ because of His love. I am not just a Christian but a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ.

God bless,

Marcus Loh

Unexpected

It was unexpected. He had other plans.

I had such little faith.

Thanks.

=)

Caught in the middle

Yours or Mine?

Less is coming

Pastor's entry is really timely.

My longing to lessen the ministries was answered.

Just anticipating what is to come.

A whole new youth cell group of post-O level people...

It ain't gonna be easy, but I know I'm not alone in this...

YA cell or Youth cell.

I suppose there will be a question posted to me.

Meantime that Elaine is still on exchange, I guess there isn't an option B.

Lord, all is this Yours and for You.

Please take over.

More is less, or less is more?

Sometimes I really wonder, why am I piled with more when I desire for less.

And if you're wondering what I'm talking about, you're probably not in contact with me for quite some time. But everyone is busy running around with their own lives, thank you for reading my post though. =)

I'm referring to the ministries I'm in.

Not that I want to "build a portfolio", but somehow I always end up serving.

But thank God for the timely revamp, changes are coming up around the corner.

In May when the IS launches together with the new youth cell groupings, I really look forward to it.

A whole new chapter.

A whole different group of sheep. Mostly 17-19 yrs old.

Sarah - we must start praying and seeking for the direction for cell =)

This current youth cell has undergone a major change, merging with another youth cell for only months. Yet, change is coming again. Some of the youth have given negative responses regards to the IS and there are those excited about the new cell groupings.

Mixed feelings.

It's in me too...

I can only hope and pray for God to give us the best, simply because He loves us.

This cell is not mine nor anyone's, it's His.

This group of younger lives are in my hands, and I ought to give my all to shepherding them.

Teaching them to love; to be faithful; to rise up against circumstances and trusting God.

Seems like the key issue in church these days is Integrate.

A timely reminder for me...To integrate my Christian life fully into my school/personal life.

It should never be a compartmentalized living.

That's not living by faith.

Looking ahead! =)

Lord, I commit into Your loving Hands.

All that we have, all that we plan.

It is Yours and Yours alone.

Not that I want to

People say time heals. I beg to differ.

Anyway, it is/was very hurtful and it still is.

I don't see a way that I can get over it unless I move away.

That's really something I wish I can do, but I still want to do what God wants me to do.

Sigh, God release me from this stronghold...
You are almightly and nothing is able to limit You.
I believe and I claim it but yet I don't see it.
According to Your will, please do something...

Back to your heart

Interesting week. Had a visit to MINDS on Friday.

People with handicapped mental abilities. Not a disease. Not a sickness.

Just happened to be born this way.

Have I ever thanked God for the normal working brain that I have?

I doubt so.

Friday night had cell. No expectations and I was feeling "ugly" spiritually.

People were not coming.

Stuff was not prepared.

Still, 2 guests visited and seem to be potential for outreach.

Must be God.

Saturday had to wake up early to do canvassing.

It was eventually a nice experience.

Had YA leaders meeting with Ps Chua.

Was reminded of my walk with God.

How much time/week do I even give to God.

Sigh...

Sat night. Planned to chill out with friends.

Yet after dinner, fell into a deep sleep only to wake up on Sun morning.

Must be a divine power that caused me to rest so much.

Went to church. Left to draw money for church camp fee.

Felt the tugging to join the 9am prayer, The Gap.

It struck me so hard to see that i was the only young person in the room.

I wondered to myself. Why like that?

Only God knows.

Today's message struck a chord with YA leaders meeting yesterday.

A deep and clear reminder to come back to His feet.

To rest and to hear.

To pray and to reflect.

To intercede and to teach.

All these things. Yet with so many other things around from the world.

What to prioritize? Which one to give more time to?

Unity was mentioned again.

I glanced around quickly.

With a doubt, I wondered if that could ever be true.

Forgive me Lord for doubting.

It is a sin in itself.

Teach me O Lord and cause me to be teachable.

To be loving. To be compassionate.

For you are love.

You are life.

You are all glorious.

Amen.

Jehovah Jireh

God my Provider my everything...

Every Chinese New Year, He never fails to amaze me.

Not because that I expect this amount,

it's just amazing to see how He can provide.

In one way or another,

In every circumstance,

In every season,

Day in day out.

You can count on it that God is always near. Thank You Lord.

Jesus loves.

How much?

I was just blog-hopping (as usual) when my mind can't focus on my notes in front of me =S

Food for thought:

How much is God really in my life?

-I wanna run into Your arms again

Chinese New Year and Faith

It was just another Chinese New Year.

It was the same process, same rituals all over again.

Things are just getting worse as the days go by.

Personally, time is just never enough.

God.

Church.

Ministry.

Cell.

Family.

Friends.

Studies.

All of them fighting for that 24 hours I have in a day (not to mention my sleep!)...

A friend advised me to find rest in Him, intentionally seek time out with God.

And that I realized, is something I have not been doing for a very very long time...

That personal time with Jesus.

I am not ashamed to blog about it, neither am I proud to say I am slacking...

But it reminds me, how we are living our faith by Grace and not the try to live righteously...

Leading on from here, I never knew about Pastor RT's case until the news reached my ears...

Did a little read up earlier. It is very very saddening.

Pastor RT: I am not sure what you have shared but I know our standards are not of this world. Neither shall we be judged by the standards of this world which does not know the greatness of the Lord God whom we worship.

Be it a pastor who has made a mistake over the pulpit or in their personal lives or in one way or another. Let us (Christians and fellow believers in the Lord Jesus Christ) reflect upon this case-in-point.

-Who are we to judge?

No doubt we can see that it is wrong...

but what does the Bible say? What would Jesus do?

I will not attempt to give you an answer and I believe if you go into the Word, you will find the answer.

And yes, to all of you out there who do not yet know Jesus.

HE who hung and died on the Cross, loves you.

How much? When you realize how much He loves you, nothing else matters!

And yes, if you have to experience Him, the post above will not apply to you as it is my heartfelt thoughts to my fellow believers.

Yet, you are always welcomed to know Jesus! =)

Xin Nian Kuai Le!

Bi-zeee

Hey I'm back again..

It has been busy and busier time for the past weeks...

It has been fun and exciting to get to know other hall mates better...

It has been educating going on trips and activities and events...

It has been hectic serving in cells and GNK and ministries...

Then again I was reminded,

REST...

Am I too caught up in doing so many things?

I feel so far from God...feels like I'm living on my own and for my own...

This cannot go on...

1814400 seconds and counting =)

Enrique Iglesias - Be With You

And now that you’re gone,
I just wanna be with you.
(Be with you)
And I can’t go on, I wanna be with you.
Wanna be with you..

A Change of Heart

How would one know that it is God's will for something?

I've been asking this question.

And thank you sister for your concern, you're really a God-sent.

On the other hand, what is God showing me this season?

I'm getting excited about it =)