A Change of Heart

How would one know that it is God's will for something?

I've been asking this question.

And thank you sister for your concern, you're really a God-sent.

On the other hand, what is God showing me this season?

I'm getting excited about it =)

META

META is finally over.

Sermon was really good and spoke a lot to me.

Yet somehow or rather, I can't focus.

I don't seem to absorb anything from this camp.

I don't seem to absorb anything from God lately.

Am I desperately in need of a timeout with God?

I really don't know...

A true disciple

To love the Lord with all thy heart and all thy mind and all thy soul and all thy strength

Disciple-sheep

What defines a true disciple of the Almighty?

Happy Birthday =)

And that just made my day when you said it.

It meant a lot and I appreciate it.

=) 7 more days! 168 hours to freedom!

Birthday O' Birthday

It's officially me turning 22!

Thanks to all who remembered =) Love you guys!

22! 22! Reminds me of Toot toot...nvm...

Those were the days,

I know I'll never be able to turn back time.

Things are different now,

people changed.

I still miss the old times

Choices

2 Big things coming up in my life...

1 - Should I get the Gretsch guitar? It was like God leading me to this choice after I thought I would settle with a Sweelee rip-off. But I guess the guy meant good anyway...

2 - To go to UNSW and take aerospace engineering? It'll cost a bomb for my parents definitely. Or should I just get a bank loan? or apply for sportsman scholarship? or get an interest-free loan from my aunt?

Choices choices...O Lord, lit my path and guide my feet.

I am lost without You in my life, let Thy will be done.

Freely You gave and surrendered Your life just for me..

2 times 2 equals?

Now that I'm a week from turning 22 years old on earth.

I really wonder what is in store for me in the future...

What does God have in mind?

I wonder...

A shift; change; move

As 2010 draws nearer, wait! My exams are in less than 2 weeks =S

Okay never mind that. Since 2010 is coming, it's time I consider certain issues.

Well for those of you who do follow me here, these are some matters I've been thinking about:

-Youth Cell:

I've been in a youth cell ever since I accepted Christ. It was a place where I got to grow in God's word, getting to know my peers and juniors, from being a member to a laborer. I want to believe that when the time comes that God leads me elsewhere, it shall be the time for me to exit. I'm still seeking God on this as the sec 4 youths in the cell graduate next year.

Sometimes I evaluate myself based on the spiritual and numerical growth of the members and I think I failed. Totally. I began with 6 of them 4 years ago:

1 moved to another church.

1 stopped coming to church.

2 has transferred to another cell.

1 has been considering a change of environment.

The last one isn't exactly sure of the faith.

If I were in a corporate world, I would be the first to be fired.

0% success rate. I wonder what God would think.

-Youth worship:

This was my first ministry as a young Christian. It was being part of the worship ministry and the journey I went through in it that I believe God has molded me and taught me much. Thus, I thank God for this privilege and chance to be able to serve Him in this ministry and it has been my most successful ministry so far.

I look back at the current team of 10 that I'm leading.

I have no credit or merit in the process of growing the team, it all belongs to God!

-Fantastic-fabulous-fun loving drummer Zeph who has improved like 10000%;

-Bass(best)-man Nic who never fails to be a pillar of support to me and the team;

-'Armour-bearer'/Pianist Matthew who has been a great buddy to me and improved a lot in his area of expertise and support to the music;

-The Girl-duet guitarists: Grace and Eudora who have been patient with my nagging and shown improvements in their guitar-ing skills through their passion. The first 2 female guitarists serving in the worship ministry till today =)

-Quiet but can be wacky Darren for the fun you've brought to us and even though you're leaving real soon, you'll always be remembered!

-Hilary and James, my faithful visualizers! What can I do without the 2 of you. You 2 have been a blessing to the team, even as you serve in the background. Big THANKS to you guys!

-Esther, our sound "girl". Though you've not joined us for many sessions but thanks for your heart and willingness to serve the Lord despite your young age. I pray and believe that He will use you greatly in time to come =)

-Rachel, my budding-worship leader and sms-spammer for the team! I have seen you grow through 2009 and you have come a long way! I hope to see you take the reins in leading a team in time to come real soon okay =)

And so far, these are the 2 ministries that I've been in for the longest time.

The sweetest and the most bitter times I have had.

If only You call, I will go.

Here I am, send me. Take me and use me. According to Your great plans.

Part of the great plan?

God is mysterious and works in His ways, I can totally agree now!

Tonight was just an experience of that, and Lord I thank You.

Thank You for opening our eyes and thank you for bringing Your people closer in You.

I pray that Love abound more and more in Your grace that we will keep the faith.

Lord, in this world, only You are all we need.

Amen =)

Prodigal's Son?Ramesh's son?

Today was a long long day...

Combined service followed by SPARKS meeting.

Well actually, yesterday was even longer =)

Prac in the morning;

YA leaders meeting at 1pm;

Cell leaders meeting at 3pm;

Mel/Joel Birthday partee at night...

Yup and the night didn't ended just at the party :S

Tiring and tired now...Nevertheless, Ps Kenny spoke on the Prodigal's Son today.

The Church of the elder son is the church of good works, it strives to be recognized for the merits it has achieved...

The other Church is the prodigal's son, that is humbled and saved by grace, totally unworthy and undeserving of all it inherits...yet, our God is a good God, all the time!

Anyway I joined my favorite gang of friends at nearby coffeeshop for lunch, well technically only I was having lunch by the time I got there...

Random topics began to spring up over the table...

From DOTA to Sims to "bus tickets" (inside joke) to having "Kopi-O" as a name for a son...

This lunch, to me, is and will always be a rare occasion and in my heart.

Though things may not seem to be optimistic,

Though I know I was really stupid to make such mistakes,

I know I am free in Christ and I am redeemed.

And I pray that the Lord my God will lead me by the hand.

Amen

One more lesson to learn

"You can't be disappointed if you don't have any expectations"

-Chuck =)

This is Our God

Freely You gave it all for us...

As these few days past, I've come to some realizations.

1. There are friends out there who can use a helping hand

2. Not every friend I made will last forever

3. I ought to give whatever I can to help a friend

God I pray for Your providence, that I may be a pillar of help to a friend in times of need.

I ask for more of You not for my own sake, but that others may come to realize that You are a great and awesome God.

Forever Your Name be glorified,

Servant and King,

You are our God

No turning back

As I look through my list of friends and reflecting on my life,

it seems that friends are not always meant to be in your life all the way.

It seems that certain friends are meant to be there by your side even at your funeral.

And mine?

I'm confident that I have built several, if not few, concrete friendships/male bondings with certain people.

And the many others?

I suppose on my part, I have failed to live up to their expectations or in 1 way or another, I have committed grave mistakes.

dear bloggie, I just have this urge to run away from everything in my life including all the sad things that bugs me. I just want to go to somewhere to start anew, a second chance. And knowing all the mistakes I've made and not committing them again. To the people and friends I have lost, to love them the way I should have. I don't want to be bonded by serving and serving again and again. I think I'm beginning to lose my center of focus already =(

Right now? Right now I think everyone's too busy to talk to me. Yup with exams pressing in and relationships coming into their lives. Different friends with different ambitions and goals from all walks of life.

I hope I won't walk through this life alone

Living the Dream

Living the Dream is something I'm sure many desire their own lives...

Question is: Who's dream are you living?

Yours? Or the dream of someone else?

Well for me, I choose to live not my own dream, but the dream of God.

The dream/desire to love.

The desire to reconcile.

The desires that I have had cannot go with the desires of His,

because I was a sinner and He is holy.

Therefore, I must die to my own self and arise anew.

Lord, I pray for renewal.

Renewal of the Spirit, mind and body in this degenerating world today.

May I yearn for purity and holiness in You.

It may seem out-of-fashion or cliche to many, maybe even for the old-timers.

But I pray that You will manifest Your presence.

For You are everlasting to everlasting.

May I never exasperate myself or be anxious about anything,

but with thanksgiving, present my requests to You and hope in You.

That the God who died for me is the God who lives in me,

That the God who takes away is the God who free gives in His will,

That the God who lives yesterday is the God who lives today and forever,

That You are God, and Your Name will be exalted in all the heavens and the earth.

Amen.

Who is the greatest?

It has been an eventful week, I will say 7 out of 10 maybe.

If there is one thing I can share,

it will be "Giving up my rights and Lordship to Him".

Yups, Jude's sharing at Friday cell was simple yet impacting...

It reminded me what to and what not to in my life...

Am I striving to please myself or Him?

Am I trying to accomplish tasks on my own merit?

Another week ahead, I pray and hope that I will not falter...

Because He is with me and He will always be.

Thank You Lord and Your name is to be praised,

greatly to be praised =D

Who is the greatest?

Thought for the day

God said in His word that the greatest of all is love.

God also said the greatest command is to love Him and to love others as oneself.

But how much do we care what He says...

I wonder...

So so so many things ah!

Today's sermon on discipleship was really good...

5 simple yet important values of a Disciple...

Yet again, so many questions and doubts have surfaced in my mind regards to all about my faith and all that I had given...

I don't think it will be appropriate for me to voice them out here, so I will not stumble others in their faith...

But 1 thing I know, I don't decide all these..It is wholly God's sovereign will.

His and His alone! Amen...

Let this be my daily prayer

Our Father in Heaven,

hallowed be Your name,

your kingdom come,

your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread,

forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from the evil one.

Amen.