Go on

This year seems to be even more uncertain, more than ever before.

I'm not so surprised at how things are right now, however I'm not satisfied just yet.

Maybe things will turn for the better.

Or maybe not.

In any case, I reshuffled my priorities.

New Beginnings

I was expecting 2014 to be a good start to change. Looks like I have to be realistic. The past year's crappiness seemed to have behind me which is something I'm thankful for. Like the common saying, move on.

2013 has definitely taught me to treasure family in the most painful way I have feared. Her sudden passing which I played through my mind even during her days of living. And so in 2014, it is my priority to not repeat that mistake and guard it so fiercely. 

As the days go by, it becomes clearer and paramount to be certain of what I want, to be sure of where I want to head towards. At least till it is a given.

I have been taught over the past years to face each new day with thanksgiving. I still wonder how long since that has stopped and my every morning is greeted with lamentations.

What is good and what I have stood for just seems to have diluted along the way. I sense the days of my holding on coming to an end fairly soon. Least I know when that is going to be roughly. The recent days may have been a little easier to cope with. The almost-weekly routine of doing this and meeting that and serving has kept me from the much hoped-not-for fellowships. Perhaps it is for the better, though not the best.

I would least expect this outcome to arrive. Not in my wildest imaginations.