Who's the anchor of my life?

=Is it the ambitions? the goals? the dreams?



Or is it the One who created all and made all for goodness?



What are you anchoring onto in your life right now?



For myself, starting off as a Christian 2 years ago honestly was no intentional purpose of getting to know God. Somehow, I'm going to spill it all out on here so for those of you who do read, it's the only time you get to see/hear all my thoughts/feelings.

I first started attending service and going to church in Aug 04 and was attending FCBC (marine parade). The place of worship was huge and I was a regular in the service. Then one day, after the service, one of the cell leaders asked me if I liked to accept salvation and say the Lord's prayer.

Somehow at the point, I don't know what's happening but just agreed to everything. So there, I gave my life to Christ. That was in 2004. I took interest in their Children's ministry and tried to help out, which eventually turned out to be a flop.

Nothing more happened for the next 4 months of 2004. I didn't go to service as regularly anymore. Children's ministry was out of my mind already by then and I was just back to my old life. Nothing bad about the old life but you know, there's always something different.

Then came 2005 Jan, I remember so clearly 7th Jan when my elder brother invited me for friday cellgroup in Serangoon. The week that Nic just enlisted into army. The day before my brother had to return to US again to study his degree. I still remembered I agreed to go because firstly, I was bored at home. Secondly, I always hoped to see how a cell is like but never got the chance to.

So off we headed for cell at 2000h. When we arrived the the huge front door, I began to feel that something different is going to happen in my life. The door was opened and everyone who was in cell that day, greeted me with much enthusiasm and joy. They just made me feel like a King returning to his land. I would probably say, this warmth and enthusiasm of the cell was one of the reasons why I kept coming back for more.

That night, my life was turned around. Many new friends and seniors/juniors I got to know and eventually on 16th Jan, I agreed to attend service at the cell's church. That is where I am currently going from then on, World Revival Prayer Fellowship.

At SGcell, the first two friends I made were Constance and Ethel. Two really unique persons in my Christian life. Both are really joyful persons and tried their best to make me feel home in cellgroup. Another reason why I returned to cell on my own was the need for a cell guitarist, at that time, Nic had to go for National Service. So prompted by my brother to try and my own wishful thinking that I could improve my guitar skills, I agreed.

Over the next few weeks in cell when I played for worship, I never knew what is worship or how to worship or why we worship. I was just there to serve as a guitarist. I just enjoyed the time of playing the guitar. Just that it was Christian songs to me at that time.

Then as time passed on, I began to know more people in cell and also in church. More friends/people start pouring into my life and today, after 2 years and 4months, I am proud to say I've known another 300 friends in Christ. Along the way through my time in WRPF, God sent different people into my life at different moments and many beautiful moments I had during these 2years. But not everyday is a rosy time. Of course there were times of saddness and bitterness. But by the grace of the Lord, I can say I pulled through.

Within these 2 years, many many and I really mean many, events and stuff happened. Some seriously affecting my life and mean a lot to me. But to focus back on the time I came to cell and knowing Christ.

It was not a purpose to come to know Christ as I said earlier, I had many reasons why I came back for more. I never saw what was wrong with it in the past.

The love for music. The desire for friendship and family warmth. The hope of having the girl of my dreams.

That was the past intention I had. The girl, God placed in my life, that has so much impact and meaning to me that it diminishes the images and presence of other options I have in life. She is like the perfect and ideal partner I can ever imagine. Character that I can never see in another. This intention was the cause of my coming back, my passion and yet, my bitterness for a very long, long time.

It took me quite a while to comprehend this new feeling in me. It took me even longer to accept the fact that life is not going to be the way I want it to be. But thanks be to God. My first love for a human being is gradually changing to first love for God. The One who deserves all our first love, because He first loves us.

Now that I'm able to focus to God and not use Him as a means in my life, I pray for forgiveness on my foolishness and sillyness. God is the true anchor of my life and under no matter what circumstances, whatever that might happen to me, God is still the true and living God. Everything may change over time, but He will never change. I know He loves me, Daddy God.

So the best, cast all my worries/thoughts/cares onto Him and just trust in Him, His character that He will bring me through all issues and matters in my life. He was the best for my interest.

THANK YOU LORD!

To you: thanks for being in my life. You make a difference to me.

Wonderful time with God

Today Aunt Shanti shared during Youth Service: Authentic Communication...Was just so filled with depth...went up for prayer by Uncle PJ Andrew. It was my first time that God had spoken so much to me. I was so dry through out the week and cannot feel that God is there with me. I got my reassurance today. God was speaking to me, how awesome was that. Tears just flowed from within me, it's been really long time since I teared. Things I got from the praying:

- God knows my silent pleadings and cries
- God will grant the desire in my heart that I've been longing for
- God will fill me with His spirit and the Devil cannot have His stronghold in me
- Guard my heart against provoking thoughts
- Do not worry about my career in future
- God will reveal something to me in 3 day's time
- Do not go ahead of Him in terms of relationship...BGR terms

God loves me, this I know. I thank You Lord. Amen.

Worship Him and adore

Today led worship in youth service. Really thank God for visiting our service. Though I didn't really feel I did my best but I trust God and thank Him that He took care of everything.

"There is power here for miracles...."

Just as we sang it today...Our youths are really restless bunch and especially before the youth service starts, everyone are just not in the mood to praise and worship. I just decided to pray together as a congregation as Nic has done before when he led worship.

I just want to give God all glory for the time of worship and thanksgiving to Him because all these are possible because of Him! Amen!

Mixed feelings...

Right now just feeling so confused...

"should I stay or should I go"

That's what's bothering me.

Nights.

Life goes on

Life's pretty stagnant now...don't think that's very good..

going to start work tomorrow...weeee...

Tapestry '07...here we go again

Grace

How gracious can our God be?

1) I just got to know that I passed my first stage for Pilot vocation in the RSAF.

2) I got into NTU mechanical engineering (direct entry into 2nd year). Though it's not my first choice, thank God I have a choice.

3) God spoke to me during Worship Jam II. I've failed to put my faith in Him even though I cried out to Him so much. It was all along me unwilling to let Him work in my life. Lord Jesus, please move in my life and mould it. I have a strong desire for 2 things but I have no idea which one was God assuring me that will eventually come to pass. I'm just going to walk close to Him and admire His wondrous works in my life. Thank you Lord.

Choose to hear what the Lord speaks, for what He commands is done with love. Listen carefully for His voice, because many distractions and temptations will come.

Amen.

NTU

I got into NTU Mechanical Engineering (direct entry to 2nd year)!!!

I must thank God.

Thank You, Lord!

Amen.

Doors

TOday had Alpha session today..Lesson was focusing on God's guidance for us. How He guides us in my life.

Realised how much faith I've lost in Him and how bland my spiritual life is right now. Indeed, it is the trying times that we are best relying on Jesus and walking close to God. I begin to question myself again, do I really have Jesus in my life...Did I sincerely invite Him into my life?Did I really open the door to Him?

Because of my lack of faith now, I begin to draw further from God. Eyes turning more to the worldly possessions and issues. Mind begins to worry. Heart begins to panick. Life becomes bitter and tensed.

But because of Jesus redemption, things are never the same. For of cause we have to give up the worldly desires and willing to take up the cross.

I have not exactly let go of the issues that I've committed to God. How small is my faith in Jesus. Lord, forgive me for my faith in You is so small. Grant me the peace that transcends all understanding, to know that You are always in control. Dear God, it is hard and You know it, I'll do my best to let go. I pray You take control. Life's good with You around always. That's for sure. You give Your children only the best, thank You God! Amen.

My Shield, My strength

O Lord today I rededicate my life to You
In Your hands I place my trust
That everyday I might live
According to Your living words

Lord abound in me Your everlasting grace
Uphold me in Your great love
Wash me over with Your Truth
Lord let Your truth be known

You are my Saviour my salvation
The rock on which I stand
You are my Saviour my salvation
The light unto my path

Lord, I cast my desires before Your throne of grace
Lord, You know my every hurt in my heart
Lord, only You can see the thoughts of my mind
Lord, I want to follow You closely in everyday of my life

Lord, I don't want to live my life about myself anymore
Lord, help me to see what You see in my life
Lord, help me to love those who do not love me back
Lord, help me recognise Your love I pray

God, I love You.
Forgive me I pray.
Take me to You again.
Bring me out of this.

Amen.

2nd mission trip

This time, I'm heading to Myanmar on the 31st March. Do remember to keep praying for the people there. Anyway, I never saw myself having another chance to go missions before NS. Thank God, it happened.

Why? Because it's what I saw. Matthias if you read this, God can do anything!

It's the most beautiful yet sometimes scary thing that happens. In any case, I thank God. My dad is sure nice enough. Silently sponsoring my kinabalu trip, Myanmar trip and just showing concern in every area. He leaves ample room for me to be independent.

If your father on earth loves you so much, how much more Your Father in Heaven who is there watching over you 24/7.

Learnt how to preach from A. Mary through my weeks of freetime. Good experience and I feel I've been digging deep into God's word. Yet, the Devil's attacks becomes stronger. Seems like I must go deeper :) and pray pray!!

Some past events in my life just re-floated in my mind recently. One word I can only think of. Forgiveness. It's so hard to forgive because I have not done it completely. I want to love the person and just forgive. I want to lay it all down before God but I never seem to had done so for the past months. It hurts a lot and the devil sees this as a point to attack me.

Lord, I pray on my own strength, no bondages can I break. Lord with You, I can do anything. Lord, I pray You grant me faith to believe You can rescue me. Amen.

I wanto believe

I do believe, yet I have so much unbelief in my life. I walk in faith, yet I have so little faith. I follow God, yet I repeatedly find myself stumbling on a path of my own choosing. Paul teaches this is a common disorder among Christians, but he also says the cure for our unbelief is, quite simply, just to believe God. In the midst of our complex negotiations with God on the subject of belief, Paul sums up the issue with one simple phrase: "Abraham believed God …." (Romans 4:3).

I believe; help me to live like I believe. I believe; help me to make decisions like I believe. I believe, Lord, you are trustworthy; help me to abandon my mythology that says I am more trustworthy than you.

God is really really faithful

Never seem like it's possible for God to plan for me to sign on as a fighter pilot. He has opened a way today for me. I came home after cell group to receive an RSAF letter on my table! haha...Thank You Daddy God! I'll use this job and glorify Your name! If I get in.

Today had performance at arts cafe. Nice place. Good ambience. Though I guess I didn't do too well, I just sang unto the Lord. Gave Him the thanksgiving and praises He deserves. Thank You God once again! Amen.

Mount Kinabalu

Hi, im back :)

Continued with previous

That was just a moment of ranting.
Just the Devil trying to place his foot into me and taking God away.
Not trying to act holy...
Sin is constantly hanging around
Especially those who are trying to lead a Godly life
Seek and run to God when sin comes

Remember, run....not fight it...

Lonely...Or Loner?

It's the time of being alone again.
Why am I so vulnerable to being lonely?
Life's pretty plain nowadays.
Where's the enthu me?

Driving lessons and overseas trips.
None of them seem to be fun.
Something's missing in my life.
A hole is left unmended.

Anyone?
Taking my life as it is
Never can I satisfy myself
Sinning against God is so easy
It's making me slip away

I will try
I promise I'll try
It's not that I do not desire
But a heart not determined

Where is she in my life
Where is God in my life
Where is love in my life
My life's going down again

Exams

Finally the tormenting season is over...Things to do up next:

-Mount Kinabalu trip
-Driving Licence
-Guitar training
-Swim and swim
-Run and run
-Weights and weights
-Part-time job?

God and me?

Some verses to look back while I go through the final race in my polytechnic life (By God's grace, it shall be). Thank God for availability of His word so freely to me.

John 3:16 - For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Psalm 46:10 - Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.

Matthew 6:33-34 - But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Galatians 5:22-23 - But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Mark 12:33 - To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.

The true treasures that can only be found in the word of His.

O Lord Our God

Song from Psalm 7:17 and 8:1

Bukit Timah

Today was first training day for M. Kinabalu...
Wasn't exactly a very high hill to train on, but the gruelsome trail has definitely shown me what to expect ahead. It was not really tiring a bit throughout and after. But as some said, show respect to Mount K. if you want to conquer it. Indeed, I'll be intensively preparing myself mentally and physically for it. Lessons I drawn from today's training.

1. In life, it's not about me getting to the point. It's how I can bring people around me along to achieve that goal.

2. Life is not to be rushed or taken at a superbly slow pace. It's about regulating and just being discipline. To rush through the training is impossible and to take your own sweet time, will only delay in finishing it.

It was definitely a beautiful time of training and fellowshipping with the rest of the climbers. Youths were definitely still much alive and the adults were doing good. Even the youngest climber had no problem reaching the halfway mark. Time to stock up on gatorade and chocolate bars!

Let's perserve on and just as to apply in our spiritaul lives, suffering doesn't mean saddness. It's the way to enjoyment and moulding process. Looking forward to the day to climb. God bless.

lonely...

Feeling lonely?

Being alone but not feeling lonely. I can only thank God enough for this that He has told. How magnificent it is. Being all by myself but not feeling lonely at all. I love it. Why go into a group of people and yet feel as if no one is bothered about you.

God, indeed it's how You think that I care about. God, You have the power to speak to anyone. The power to change any idea. The power to create. God, when will I see that glorious work of Yours in my life...

Change me Lord, for Your glory.
Use me Lord, for Your will.
And all honour be to Your name, Amen.